AMPONTAN

Japan from the inside out

Too long in Japan

This is the Ur-list for the original topic from the TWICS message board, in which posters were invited to finish the sentence:

“You know you’ve been too long in Japan when…”

Feel free to add your own creations in the comments!

13 (of 1471) RRR June 12, 1993 at 13:11 JST (84 characters)
You find yourself asking all your foreign acquaintances what their blood types are.

14 (of 1471) LOG June 12, 1993 at 14:05 JST (66 characters)
You see a gaijin get on the train and think “Wow, it’s a gaijin”

15 (of 1471) LOG June 12, 1993 at 16:08 JST (49 characters)
…you walk out of the bank counting your money.

16 (of 1471) LOG June 12, 1993 at 16:10 JST (123 characters)
…you pay the London taxi-driver the exact fare, walk away without closing the door, and wonder why he’s swearing at you.

17 (of 1471) LOG June 12, 1993 at 16:11 JST (106 characters)
…(for women only) you wrap your dressing gown left-over-right and wonder why the pocket’s inaccessible.

18 (of 1471) RRR June 12, 1993 at 17:28 JST (83 characters)
you find yourself practicing golf swings with your umbrella on the train platform.

19 (of 1471) RWALKER June 14, 1993 at 8:50 JST (94 characters)
You go overseas and feel like you’ve been transported to the bargain basement sale from hell.

20 (of 1471) RWALKER June 14, 1993 at 8:51 JST (126 characters)
You don’t know the politically correct answer when the American supermarket cashier asks if you prefer plastic or paper bags.

21 (of 1471) JOJI June 14, 1993 at 10:44 JST (119 characters)
When you’re riding in a car in the states and wondering why people don’t turn their headlights off at every stoplight.

22 (of 1471) LOG June 14, 1993 at 11:18 JST (62 characters)
…you buy an individually wrapped potato in the supermarket.

23 (of 1471) RRR June 14, 1993 at 13:16 JST (105 characters)
You think that “Lets SPORTS yOUNG pyssy CluB” is a perfectly normal T shirt logo for a middle aged lady.

24 (of 1471) VINCENTP June 14, 1993 at 15:59 JST (71 characters)
You watch blubber balls bump bellies on TV and actually care who wins.

25 (of 1471) JMANN June 14, 1993 at 17:34 JST (95 characters)
You have to pause and translate your phone number into English before telling it to someone.

26 (of 1471) JIM3396 June 14, 1993 at 18:19 JST (120 characters)
you visit the u.s., try to call japan and when a disembodied voice asks you to select the carrier you go, ‘HUUUNNNHHH’

27 (of 1471) RRR June 14, 1993 at 18:34 JST (40 characters)
You order a “bottle of draft” in a pub.

28 (of 1471) MCLAPSADDLE June 14, 1993 at 19:03 JST (43 characters)
you start thinking can coffee tastes good.

31 (of 1471) VINCENTP June 15, 1993 at 8:53 JST (79 characters)
You are speaking in English but all references to money come out in Japanese.

32 (of 1471) JIM3396 June 15, 1993 at 10:25 JST (144 characters)
you watch the daily rise of the yen, rubbing your palms together in a most undeserved greed, once again thinking about that condo in Tahoe…

34 (of 1471) RRR June 15, 1993 at 18:46 JST (115 characters)
you go to a bookshop with the full intention to read all the interesting magazines and put them back on the shelf.

35 (of 1471) COYOTE June 16, 1993 at 14:20 JST (87 characters)
…you’re careful to specify a nonsmoking seat on the flight from Denver to St. Louis.

36 (of 1471) COYOTE June 16, 1993 at 14:22 JST (92 characters)
you have trouble figuring out how many syllables there really are in words like ‘building’.

38 (of 1471) KINCH June 16, 1993 at 14:31 JST (561 characters)
* When you ignore other gaijin in trains like they’re plague carriers.

* When you walk into a video shop in Ireland with your girlfriend looking for the porno section (instant excommunication).

* When you walk into any shop in Ireland and dumbly wait for 20 minutes to get served.

* When you get fed up waiting and politely say “Sorry” and the owner asks you what you’re sorry about.

* When you stupidly wait for the green light to cross the road while everyone else is jaywalking.

39 (of 1471) RRR June 16, 1993 at 14:37 JST (87 characters)
You think “I am busy” is a valid excuse to cancel a weekend date with your girlfriend.

40 (of 1471) JMANN June 16, 1993 at 17:05 JST (42 characters)
You sleep through a shindo 4 earthquake.

41 (of 1471) CHRISG June 16, 1993 at 17:21 JST (76 characters)
When you forget to hit the bilingual switch while watching Clint on the TV

42 (of 1471) RWALKER June 16, 1993 at 17:55 JST (150 characters)
You think 70% of the cinematic output of the United States stars Clint Eastwood or Arnold Schwarzenegger, the other 30% being B-grade slasher flicks.

43 (of 1471) RRR June 16, 1993 at 18:08 JST (65 characters)
Rwalker (42): and you expect to see Magnum every 6 months on TV.

44 (of 1471) RWALKER June 17, 1993 at 7:14 JST (24 characters)
RRR:
Expect? Demand!

45 (of 1471) VINCENTP June 17, 1993 at 9:26 JST (73 characters)
You schedule your commute around the availability of seats on the train.

46 (of 1471) VINCENTP June 17, 1993 at 9:29 JST (34 characters)
You think bosozoku are dangerous.

47 (of 1471) VINCENTP June 17, 1993 at 9:31 JST (100 characters)
You think sushi at a baseball game is perfectly normal. (Also applies to “Too long in California.”)

48 (of 1471) VINCENTP June 17, 1993 at 9:34 JST (59 characters)
Your idea of a larger home is an extra 10 square meters…

49 (of 1471) RRR June 17, 1993 at 9:35 JST (66 characters)
You open a bank account in order to stock up on tissues and soap.

50 (of 1471) VINCENTP June 17, 1993 at 9:36 JST (90 characters)
You leave your office mid-morning and go to a coffee shop in order to get some work done.

51 (of 1471) RRR June 17, 1993 at 9:37 JST (55 characters)
VincentP (4 : I thought that is a *second* home…)

52 (of 1471) SAKOVICH June 17, 1993 at 11:23 JST (422 characters)
RRR (39)

..and she understands perfectly…

Also…

..you’re sitting in a bar next to two gaijins who had been drinking together and are now ready to leave and are in a convoluted semi-drunken discussion about which one had how many bottles of beer, and you think to yourself, “Why don’t they just split the bill 50-50 and shut up?”

53 (of 1471) RWALKER June 17, 1993 at 12:26 JST (77 characters)
You think everybody has a small, low-lying cloud system over their privates.

54 (of 1471) RRR June 17, 1993 at 14:17 JST (60 characters)
Rwalker 53: Good! I thought everybody had black rectangles.

55 (of 1471) RRR June 17, 1993 at 14:18 JST (78 characters)
You go for a drink with friends back home and start pouring everybody’s beer.

56 (of 1471) LOG June 17, 1993 at 20:47 JST (76 characters)
…your sister starts making pointed comments about your American spelling.

57 (of 1471) JOJI June 17, 1993 at 22:18 JST (113 characters)
when the “mn mn min minn minn” of locusts sounds like music to the ear…
AND
you feel like popping open a beer.

58 (of 1471) JOJI June 17, 1993 at 22:18 JST (70 characters)
when you vow to *gambaru* before every little activity you engage in

59 (of 1471) CHRISG June 18, 1993 at 10:42 JST (70 characters)
When you start praising your parents on their skillful use of a fork

60 (of 1471) RRR June 18, 1993 at 13:41 JST (124 characters)
You pull up at a gas station and wait for a bunch of Norman Rockwell-type attendants to jump out and clean your windshield.

61 (of 1471) RWALKER June 19, 1993 at 8:01 JST (211 characters)
You read the news that there’s been a split in the LDP and the Diet has been dissolved and all you can think is, “Great, now we’re going to have those damned speaker cars trolling the neighborhood for a month.”

62 (of 1471) JER June 19, 1993 at 12:03 JST (51 characters)
when you say that one of your hobbies is ‘doraibu’

63 (of 1471) RRR June 19, 1993 at 12:06 JST (143 characters)
… and when a busload full of young, white gloved, frantically grinning and waving girls pulls up next to you, you think: Right. Election.

64 (of 1471) JER June 19, 1993 at 12:10 JST (146 characters)
when you have to get off the train in the morning to throw up because of a hangover.
and…
when you stupidly wait for a kampai at a gaijin party

65 (of 1471) RWALKER June 19, 1993 at 15:29 JST (64 characters)
You feel like you’re a speed demon if you make it up to 70 kph.

66 (of 1471) RWALKER June 19, 1993 at 15:30 JST (174 characters)
You spend forty-five minutes idling at a train crossing that only comes up once every 10 minutes and then only to let a maximum of two cars through–and you only swear once.

67 (of 1471) RRR June 19, 1993 at 16:04 JST (103 characters)
You think no car is complete without a tissue box on the rear shelf and a feather duster in the trunk.

68 (of 1471) RRR June 20, 1993 at 20:16 JST (63 characters)
You check in the calendar if the rainy season has started yet.

69 (of 1471) JER June 20, 1993 at 21:15 JST (79 characters)
..when you wait for the first day of summer to wear short sleeve dress shirts.

70 (of 1471) VINCENTP June 21, 1993 at 9:50 JST (59 characters)
..when the first option you buy for your car is a TV set.

71 (of 1471) JIM3396 June 21, 1993 at 12:22 JST (105 characters)
….when you don’t think the death penalty should be mandatory for anyone who watches t.v. while driving.

72 (of 1471) VINCENTP June 21, 1993 at 16:53 JST (83 characters)
when you expect corrupt politicians to be re-elected, and ignore it when they are.

73 (of 1471) JMANN June 22, 1993 at 16:55 JST (66 characters)
Lunch is yesterday’s leftovers out of a Hello Kitty bentou box.

74 (of 1471) RRR June 22, 1993 at 18:14 JST (80 characters)
When you draw a sharp distinction between “English” and “English conversation”

75 (of 1471) MILLER June 22, 1993 at 22:32 JST (103 characters)
Seeing someone on the street wearing his baseball cap and carrying a ghetto blaster is very strange

76 (of 1471) RRR June 23, 1993 at 10:30 JST (71 characters)
You think some boiled jellyfish strips are just groovy with your beer

77 (of 1471) COYOTE June 23, 1993 at 11:09 JST (114 characters)
you tell your parents “just going for a walk downtown” before heading out the door at 11pm (while visiting home)

78 (of 1471) COYOTE June 23, 1993 at 11:10 JST (76 characters)
you’re home for Christmas, get a craving for oden, and head for the 7-11…

79 (of 1471) DCROZ June 23, 1993 at 14:01 JST (73 characters)
Somebody says, “Home for Christmas,” and your reaction is befuddlement.

80 (of 1471) RRR June 23, 1993 at 22:08 JST (83 characters)
You use the “slasher hand” and continuous bowing to make your way through a crowd.

81 (of 1471) MASON June 24, 1993 at 12:53 JST (95 characters)
When you put up your umbrella at the first drop of rain and leave it up until the road is dry.

82 (of 1471) RRR June 24, 1993 at 18:40 JST (66 characters)
You go abroad, and Omiyage is right on top of your priority list.

83 (of 1471) LOG June 24, 1993 at 22:18 JST (88 characters)
…you have no qualms about buying cooked pork from a counter that also sells uncooked.

84 (of 1471) RRR June 25, 1993 at 9:59 JST (79 characters)
…every of your December Sundays is reserved for Bonenkai hangover recovery.

85 (of 1471) JER June 25, 1993 at 10:00 JST (92 characters)
…you think that the train is *empty* when if you drop your briefcase it hits the floor…

86 (of 1471) MILLER June 25, 1993 at 10:09 JST (88 characters)
You don’t think it unusual for a truck to play “It’s a Small World” when backing up.

87 (of 1471) COYOTE June 25, 1993 at 11:09 JST (46 characters)
you really enjoy corn soup with your Big Mac.

88 (of 1471) CHRISG June 25, 1993 at 16:18 JST (116 characters)
You are disappointed when Dominoes doesn’t have corn pizza, and the driver is disappointed when you forget the tip.

89 (of 1471) JIM3396 June 25, 1993 at 17:39 JST (142 characters)
yeah, or when you show up the next morning cause breakfast was so good yesterday and you can’t understand why the service has turned surly.

90 (of 1471) RRR June 26, 1993 at 15:56 JST (44 characters)
…you think the opposite of red is white.

91 (of 1471) RRR June 27, 1993 at 11:47 JST (93 characters)
…you leave your expensive bottle of Royal Salute with a sleazy barkeeper and don’t worry.

92 (of 1471) JMANN June 27, 1993 at 17:07 JST (91 characters)
You glance at the clock and accurately predict the next line of dialog in the TV dorama.

93 (of 1471) RRR June 27, 1993 at 22:33 JST (68 characters)
…you go to the pond in your neighbourhood park for carp fishing.

94 (of 1471) RWALKER June 28, 1993 at 9:30 JST (147 characters)
You make a point of going to the neighborhood undokai because you know you can come home with a month’s worth of kitchen cleaner and canned goods.

95 (of 1471) RRR June 28, 1993 at 13:29 JST (115 characters)
…you feel an irresistible urge to point your windshield wipers outwards when you park your car in a ski resort.

96 (of 1471) KINCH June 29, 1993 at 10:57 JST (79 characters)
You can listen to the ads in FEN without falling around the floor laughing.

97 (of 1471) RRR June 30, 1993 at 18:10 JST (57 characters)
…you go to a coffee shop and order “American coffee”.

98 (of 1471) RRR July 2, 1993 at 13:50 JST (40 characters)
…you think potatoes are a vegetable.

99 (of 1471) JMANN July 3, 1993 at 15:38 JST (80 characters)
You pore over the Jikokuhyou looking for ways to avoid riding the Shinkansen.

100 (of 1471) JMANN July 4, 1993 at 16:18 JST (145 characters)
You plot your route to the train station according to the garbage collection days so you can dump a bag full of empty beer cans along the way.

101 (of 1471) RRR July 4, 1993 at 23:27 JST (182 characters)
…you appear for your first skiing lesson with brand new Rossignol high performance racing skis and an aerodynamic racing suit with colour matched goggles. And then snowplow down.

102 (of 1471) JMANN July 5, 1993 at 13:19 JST (85 characters)
You put eleven 10 yen coins in the vending machine before you notice it’s sold out.

103 (of 1471) VINCENTP July 5, 1993 at 13:56 JST (73 characters)
You think that a new ramen shop opening around your station is an event.

104 (of 1471) COYOTE July 5, 1993 at 14:58 JST (67 characters)
you think the idea of paying money for pocket tissues is wasteful.

105 (of 1471) COYOTE July 5, 1993 at 14:59 JST (70 characters)
you think that moving automobiles have the right of way on sidewalks.

107 (of 1471) RRR July 6, 1993 at 13:53 JST (66 characters)
…you see some real cleavage and think VOW!

109 (of 1471) LOG July 6, 1993 at 16:41 JST (69 characters)
…you realise you can no longer hear the unmuffled impact printers.

110 (of 1471) JMANN July 6, 1993 at 17:16 JST (53 characters)
You laugh at something Biito Takeshi says or does.

111 (of 1471) CHRISG July 6, 1993 at 17:16 JST (75 characters)
.. you buy tickets to a Tigers’ game and spend time practicing the cheers.

112 (of 1471) RRR July 7, 1993 at 14:41 JST (74 characters)
… you buy a potato-and-strawberry sandwich for lunch without cringing.

114 (of 1471) CHRISG July 7, 1993 at 16:22 JST (59 characters)
.. you miss July 4th, but get all worked up over Tanabata.

115 (of 1471) MIMO July 7, 1993 at 17:37 JST (94 characters)
..if you eat ‘himeshoga’ and you no more think, it tastes like refreshment of British Airways

116 (of 1471) RRR July 8, 1993 at 0:37 JST (64 characters)
…you think an interview with a Sumo wrestler is interesting.

117 (of 1471) LOG July 8, 1993 at 7:27 JST (83 characters)
…it takes you three attempts to fill in a check correctly.

118 (of 1471) RRR July 8, 1993 at 9:22 JST (46 characters)
…and you are British and spell “check”

119 (of 1471) JIM3396 July 8, 1993 at 10:23 JST (61 characters)
you have to think about it to remember what a ‘check’ is….

120 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:15 JST (79 characters)
you don’t cross against a red light–at 3:30 am with nobody around to see you.

121 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:17 JST (166 characters)
you start to think that dressed-to-kill Japanese girls walking down the street with US servicemen who shop for clothes at K-Mart represent a mismatch in tastes..

122 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:18 JST (88 characters)
…you take practice golf swings on the train platform *without* an umbrella in your hand.

123 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:18 JST (54 characters)
…you are a man and spit into the urinal before peeing.

124 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:19 JST (42 characters)
…when you squat waiting for a bus to come.

125 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:19 JST (25 characters)
…when you enjoy ikkinomi.

127 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:21 JST (136 characters)
…when you develop the fine sense of Japanese manners that prevents you from facing traffic when you take a leak outside (sorry ladies!).

128 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:22 JST (36 characters)
…you enjoy drinking until you vomit.

129 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:24 JST (138 characters)
…you start shunning foreigners you meet far away from your metropolitan abode in Tokyo (they’re probably not worth talking to, you know).

130 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:25 JST (137 characters)
…you have already printed up a resume to hand to taxi drivers, thereby eliminating the need for them to ask you their first 50 questions.

131 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:27 JST (70 characters)
…you stop feeling bad about wearing the same suit three days in a row.

132 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:27 JST (43 characters)
…you stop feeling bad about wearing a suit.

133 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:28 JST (144 characters)
…you phone an English-speaker foreigner friend and somehow can’t bring yourself to get to the point for the first 3 minutes of the conversation.

134 (of 1471) JIM3396 July 8, 1993 at 11:29 JST (45 characters)
re 128: sure you’re not just an undergrad?

135 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:30 JST (96 characters)
…you pass a foreigner who says hello to you on the street and you wonder ‘what did that mean’.

136 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:31 JST (97 characters)
…you lose your reluctance to hand your business card to a bimbo working in a knee-patting parlor.

137 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:32 JST (97 characters)
…you are able to look at the check for 32,000 for two people after 60 minutes and not cringe.

138 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:33 JST (64 characters)
…you stop enjoying telling newcomers to Japan ‘all about Japan’.

139 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 11:33 JST (76 characters)
…you can write this many notes on this topic without coming up for air .

141 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 13:59 JST (58 characters)
…you ask the age of everybody you meet for the first time.

142 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 14:00 JST (55 characters)
…you ask Japanese men whether their wives are Japanese.

143 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 14:01 JST (186 characters)
…you run out of cute explanations to why you like sushi, yakitori, nattou, or whatever other thing you are eating that amazes your neighbor at a bar/restaurant or other eatery/drinkery.

144 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 14:03 JST (87 characters)
…you have a hard time consuming alcohol after even one grain of rice crosses your lips.

145 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 14:04 JST (180 characters)
…you remember when shouchu was not a chic drink drunk by high school girls, but rather one drunk under the railroad tracks by construction workers who never take off their haramaki.

146 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 14:05 JST (139 characters)
…you remember when shouchuu was drunk straight or mixed with hot water, not mixed with a vegetable colored dye (purple, green, pink, etc.).

147 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 14:06 JST (87 characters)
…you remember when the average Japanese person under about 30 did not have a telephone.

148 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 14:07 JST (198 characters)
…you remember when telephones were almost always placed near the front door and next to them was placed a little box or jar to receive 10 yen coins from people who stopped by to ‘borrow’ your phone.

149 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 14:08 JST (204 characters)
…you remember when public telephones had just been put out on the street that could be used for out-of-city calls as well as inside the city, and had a sign on them to indicate this new high-tech function.

150 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 14:08 JST (49 characters)
…you remember non-wanman buses in the Tokyo area.

151 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 14:09 JST (61 characters)
…you remember a US army (?) tank driving up the old route 16.

152 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 14:10 JST (163 characters)
…you remember when Chinatown in Yokohama was full of bars catering to foreign sailor and servicemen on their I and I stays (intoxication and intercourse) in Japan.

153 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 14:12 JST (171 characters)
…you remember almost no bars who could think fast enough to refuse a Caucasian client. Nobody expected them. But then nobody expected the Spanish Inquisition either .

154 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 14:13 JST (34 characters)
…you remember 90 yen taxis fondly.

156 (of 1471) JIM3396 July 8, 1993 at 16:14 JST (71 characters)
…you remember riding the streetcar line from shinanomachi to kasumicho.

157 (of 1471) RRR July 8, 1993 at 18:04 JST (37 characters)
Billlise: What is a “no-wanman bus”?

158 (of 1471) LOG July 8, 1993 at 18:08 JST (34 characters)
“non-wanman bus” = “tsuuman bus”?

159 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 19:03 JST (337 characters)
157:
Buses still have signs (at least someplaces) which say wan man (one man) to tell people that there is no ticket-taking person. Buses in days of yore (or at least mine ) used to have such people, making the bus, I guess, a two-paason bus, but nobody ever referred to them as two-paason or two-man. I hope that clears things up.

160 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:16 JST (76 characters)
…You wonder why the man who likes Makintoshes is so interested in raincoats.

161 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:17 JST (68 characters)
…You think only the well-to-do or narikin have baths in their homes.

162 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:18 JST (61 characters)
…You wash the vegetables from the local market in Mama-remon.

163 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:19 JST (93 characters)
…You complain because the local hostelry doesn’t have mosquito netting (kaya) for your futon.

164 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:19 JST (60 characters)
…You think 360 yen per dollar is a reasonable exchange rate.

165 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:20 JST (79 characters)
….You wouldn’t think of going to the horse races because the crowd is too rough.

166 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:21 JST (101 characters)
…You invariably take soba to the apartment to the left, right, and in front of your new set of rooms.

167 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:22 JST (241 characters)
…You remember with great fondness what it sounded like to hear hundreds of geta hitting the pavement when the light changed to green for the pedestrians waiting to cross at the Sukiyabashi intersection in front of Asahi Shimbun headquarters.

168 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:23 JST (97 characters)
…You keep looking for new copies of Gegege-no-kitaro and Hi-no-tori manga at the local bookstore.

169 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:25 JST (154 characters)
…You think it’s wasteful to give your old newspapers to the chirigami-kokan-ya when they can still be cut up in suitable squares for use as toilet paper.

170 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:25 JST (101 characters)
…You think sudare in front of your open windows in the summer is for neighborhood privacy.

171 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:26 JST (78 characters)
…You can distinguish between gokiburi (cockroaches) from the Kansai and Kanto.

172 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:27 JST (85 characters)
…You have copies of all of the New Year’s and O-chu-gen post cards from a Showa date.

173 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:28 JST (78 characters)
…You automatically remember all of your important year dates in Showa numbers.

174 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:28 JST (65 characters)
…You think an IBM Selectric is a vital piece of office equipment.

175 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:29 JST (87 characters)
…You think a woman isn’t quite proper if she read a magazine or newspaper on the train.

176 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:30 JST (86 characters)
…You think the Kasumigaseki Building is a reasonable unit for measuring large volumes.

177 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:30 JST (125 characters)
…You keep mixing up Haneda and Narita Airports and thinking the new monorail will get you to your flight in one hour or less.

178 (of 1471) JUNH July 8, 1993 at 19:31 JST (137 characters)
…You see nothing strange about men enjoying the air conditioning in the airport and wearing nothing but their underwear and geta or seta.

179 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 8, 1993 at 21:52 JST (127 characters)
JUNH 160-178:
Datsubou sezaru wo enai or in the words of Ei-chan (already dating myself?) on recent commercials, maita naa

180 (of 1471) JOJI July 8, 1993 at 23:21 JST (107 characters)
…you visit a home in the US and not only take off your shoes but also make sure they point toward the door.

181 (of 1471) JOJI July 8, 1993 at 23:21 JST (98 characters)
…you remember how the teenagers used to look like they were on a 50′s trip only it was the 70′s.

182 (of 1471) JOJI July 8, 1993 at 23:21 JST (74 characters)
…it doesn’t irritate you anymore to see an interpreter do a bad job on TV.

183 (of 1471) JOJI July 8, 1993 at 23:22 JST (54 characters)
…you remember *kamaboko* houses or know what they are.

184 (of 1471) JMANN July 9, 1993 at 6:23 JST (135 characters)
…You claim a seat at a Wendy’s by putting your ditty bag on it, fully expecting it to still be there when you return with your burger.

189 (of 1471) KINCH July 9, 1993 at 12:48 JST (213 characters)
…when you start saving up for a Japanese burial plot.

190 (of 1471) RWALKER July 9, 1993 at 13:12 JST (174 characters)
JUNH 164>>You think 360 yen per dollar is a reasonable exchange rate.
Nah, that doesn’t mean you’ve been in Japan too long, it just means you work at Kinokuniya or Maruzen!

191 (of 1471) RWALKER July 9, 1993 at 13:12 JST (72 characters)
…You get excited by words like: “health,” “soap,” “fashion,” and “pink.”

192 (of 1471) RWALKER July 9, 1993 at 13:12 JST (66 characters)
…You are willing to travel enormous distances just to take a bath.

193 (of 1471) RWALKER July 9, 1993 at 13:13 JST (89 characters)
…You mistake ownership of equipment for possession of skill when discussing your hobbies.

194 (of 1471) JMANN July 9, 1993 at 14:16 JST (54 characters)
…Paper towels in a washroom are a luxurious amenity.

195 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 9, 1993 at 15:17 JST (132 characters)
Re 194:
you make sure to take a handkerchief with you if you feel the urge might come on during a trip outside your office or home.

196 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 9, 1993 at 17:12 JST (52 characters)
195 addition
…the urge to urinate, of course .

197 (of 1471) RRR July 9, 1993 at 17:17 JST (94 characters)
…You expect the elevator girl to announce every floor for you, even if you are alone with her.

198 (of 1471) JMUNROE July 10, 1993 at 2:36 JST (1290 characters)
…You bow to the person on the other end when talking at a pay phone. you stop saying “doitashimasite” when the vending machine thanks you.
…You keep interrupting a perfectly good English conversation with regular exclamations of eh, un, ah, heeey, and oh.
…You think every foreign movie title contains the word Love.
…when People stop complimenting you on your Japanese, and start asking you where you had your nose and eyes done.
…You hear people are going to New York, and you reach for your bath towel.
…You don’t blink when it’s seven a.m. and the sixth truck of the day is going by, with: Arigatooooooooo gozaimaaaaaaaas! RRR de gozaimaaaaaaaas!…..
…You still remember your first drive in your brand new Toyopet.
…when somebody crashes into you and you apologize, insisting that the accident was your fault.
…You watch Rex three times but don’t bother to see Jurassic Park.
…You actually care who’s winning in the JLeague.
…You call home and forget that it’s three in the morning over there.
…You wonder why Prince Akihito is already getting grey hair, and why you don’t see much of the Emperor these days.
…You think Masako is beautiful and Hillary is cute.

199 (of 1471) RRR July 11, 1993 at 10:30 JST (63 characters)
…you buy Dollar travellers cheques for your trip to Europe.

200 (of 1471) JMANN July 11, 1993 at 16:16 JST (137 characters)
…You’re eating a sirloin steak along with a 7-11 onigiri. ps, you noticed 7-11 changed its onigiri wrapping houshiki for the 3rd time.

201 (of 1471) MIMO July 11, 1993 at 23:50 JST (44 characters)
…if you found a beautiful way to eat NATTO

202 (of 1471) MIMO July 11, 1993 at 23:51 JST (53 characters)
… if you at businesshours enter the train backwards

203 (of 1471) RRR July 12, 1993 at 0:08 JST (52 characters)
…you know the meaning of “internationalization”.

204 (of 1471) RRR July 12, 1993 at 10:11 JST (178 characters)
…you think your desk is not really ready for work until its whole surface, except for a little hole in the center, is cluttered with files, books, and assorted paraphernalia.

205 (of 1471) JIM3396 July 12, 1993 at 10:27 JST (39 characters)
204 — invalid; seen commonly in u.s.

206 (of 1471) RRR July 12, 1993 at 10:53 JST (167 characters)
Really? Consider it withdrawn. How about this one:
…you actually learn how to use the array of microscopic buttons on your VCR and program it a month in advance…

207 (of 1471) JIM3396 July 12, 1993 at 12:10 JST (104 characters)
o.k., but add:
and you always leave 45 minutes of leeway when there’s a baseball game scheduled…..

208 (of 1471) RRR July 12, 1993 at 14:40 JST (123 characters)
…and you cancel all your programming if a foreign politician comes for a visit, and his wife turns out to be *cute*…

209 (of 1471) RRR July 12, 1993 at 22:29 JST (83 characters)
… you think “English literature major” is a polite way to say “peanut brained bimbo”.

210 (of 1471) RWALKER July 13, 1993 at 11:27 JST (47 characters)
… You don’t know whether you’re coming or going.

211 (of 1471) KINCH July 13, 1993 at 13:19 JST (262 characters)
… You are not surprised to wake up in the morning and find that the woman who stayed over last night has completely cleaned your apartment, even tho you’ll probably never ever meet her again.

212 (of 1471) VINCENTP July 13, 1993 at 15:26 JST (61 characters)
KINCH 211
Is that before or after she’s made you breakfast?

214 (of 1471) RRR July 13, 1993 at 22:47 JST (80 characters)
…you think all women raise their voice by 1 octave when they speak politely.

215 (of 1471) JMANN July 14, 1993 at 17:03 JST (94 characters)
… You can’t enjoy a foreign movie because you’re too busy criticizing the Japanese subtitles.

216 (of 1471) RRR July 14, 1993 at 21:06 JST (129 characters)
…you think smiling and waving to another motorist is the universal way to tell him he better stop because you cut in his way.

217 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 14, 1993 at 23:41 JST (80 characters)
… you go overseas and get a kick out of talking to Japanese tourists in Japanese.

218 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 14, 1993 at 23:41 JST (69 characters)
… you get blasted by a political speaker truck and think “shoganai…”

219 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 14, 1993 at 23:41 JST (50 characters)
… you start referring to a mild storm as a typhoon.

220 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 14, 1993 at 23:41 JST (96 characters)
… you read “lets fit together” at your local sports club and don’t immediately think of sex.

221 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 14, 1993 at 23:41 JST (80 characters)
… you think its cool to stand in the “Japanese only” queue at Narita Immigration.

222 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 14, 1993 at 23:41 JST (75 characters)
… you think The Japan Times and the Daily Yomiuri represent good journalism.

223 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 14, 1993 at 23:41 JST (84 characters)
… you don’t find it unusual to have to get out of the pool for 10 minutes every hour.

224 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 14, 1993 at 23:41 JST (62 characters)
… you go to New Zealand and consider traveling around by train.

225 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 14, 1993 at 23:41 JST (101 characters)
… when paying $2000 in gift money to the landlord of your new apartment doesn’t make you really angry!

226 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 14, 1993 at 23:41 JST (92 characters)
… the English rendition of any Japanese company president’s speech makes perfect sense to you.

227 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 14, 1993 at 23:41 JST (117 characters)
… you consider it acceptable to watch a classical concert on NHK BS in mono while the baseball is broadcast in stereo.

228 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 14, 1993 at 23:41 JST (56 characters)
… you develop a liking for green tea flavoured ice cream.

229 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 14, 1993 at 23:41 JST (79 characters)
… you’re talking to your mother on the phone, and she asks you what “genki” means.

230 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 14, 1993 at 23:41 JST (72 characters)
… you remember when Kin-chan and Gin-chan celebrated their 50th birthday!

231 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 14, 1993 at 23:41 JST (83 characters)
… you go home for a holiday and ask your dad which rubbish bin to use for burnables.

232 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 14, 1993 at 23:41 JST (74 characters)
… you see Japanese people on the street who remind you of people back home.

233 (of 1471) MIMO July 15, 1993 at 9:35 JST (86 characters)
… you know 2 different “terebi-comercial-melodies” from Ooloncha, Peako and Nescafe !

234 (of 1471) MIMO July 15, 1993 at 9:36 JST (75 characters)
… you talk about yourself and pointing your index-finger to your nose !

235 (of 1471) RRR July 15, 1993 at 14:33 JST (51 characters)
… you think “audio/video” is polite for “porno”.

236 (of 1471) CHRISG July 15, 1993 at 15:15 JST (110 characters)
Response to note 222 – Japan Times being good journalism.
I didn’t think anyone had been in Japan that long!

237 (of 1471) JMANN July 15, 1993 at 17:04 JST (79 characters)
… you take for granted mayonnaise and ketchup come in plastic squeeze bottles.

238 (of 1471) RRR July 15, 1993 at 17:24 JST (83 characters)
… you are sure you can always pick up a TV from the sodaigomi when you need one.

239 (of 1471) JMANN July 15, 1993 at 18:14 JST (47 characters)
… You’ve read all the ads on the Wendy’s table.

240 (of 1471) RRR July 16, 1993 at 11:19 JST (41 characters)
… you wait to get seated at MacDonald’s

241 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 16, 1993 at 11:57 JST (65 characters)
… you feel guilty about walking while licking an ice cream cone.

242 (of 1471) RRR July 16, 1993 at 19:31 JST (60 characters)
… you think Disneyland is a great place to go with a date.

243 (of 1471) KELLY July 16, 1993 at 22:01 JST (85 characters)
… you prefer weeds to a dozen roses because they are easier to arrange into Ikebana.

244 (of 1471) KELLY July 16, 1993 at 22:03 JST (120 characters)
… you think the guy sitting across from you is an absolute barbarian because he drinks ice tea without using his straw.

245 (of 1471) RRR July 17, 1993 at 12:25 JST (91 characters)
… you burn garbage in a steel drum in the street, to help your local incineration plant.

246 (of 1471) JMANN July 18, 1993 at 15:17 JST (94 characters)
… You accept a gift of 20 bars of soap and a set of bath towels as a routine social gesture.

247 (of 1471) RRR July 20, 1993 at 8:35 JST (116 characters)
… you get goose pimples when invited to any event that has something about “international friendship” in its name

248 (of 1471) JER July 20, 1993 at 9:09 JST (143 characters)
… you start flashing the “peace” sign whenever someone points a camera in your direction.
… You refer to yourself and other foreigners as gaijin.

252 (of 1471) RRR July 20, 1993 at 10:00 JST (73 characters)
…when you think rice is something that must stick to your chopsticks.

253 (of 1471) COYOTE July 20, 1993 at 15:24 JST (171 characters)
… if, when someone sits next to you on the train, you automatically get up… just a bit… and sit down in exactly the same place. It’s the thought that counts, I guess!

254 (of 1471) RRR July 20, 1993 at 15:54 JST (79 characters)
…if you have a hard time saying no and suck air through your teeth instead.

255 (of 1471) RRR July 20, 1993 at 17:26 JST (88 characters)
… you are upset because the rainy season was scheduled to end today, and it did not.

257 (of 1471) RRR July 22, 1993 at 11:40 JST (62 characters)
…when you naturally light up in the hospital waiting room.

258 (of 1471) RWALKER July 23, 1993 at 6:14 JST (212 characters)
…When you don’t blink twice at a vending machine that sells music CDs and men’s underpants.

259 (of 1471) RRR July 23, 1993 at 9:13 JST (65 characters)
…when you buy a British car and insist on left-hand steering.

260 (of 1471) RRR July 24, 1993 at 12:45 JST (131 characters)
(for bikers, this one)
…you think the most logical place to put an iron manhole cover is in the middle of the lane, in a curve.

261 (of 1471) MIMO July 25, 1993 at 19:55 JST (202 characters)
…if you think, it is advantageous in those overflowing Trains to ‘navigate’ allways near nice Lady’s.
…if you in same trains gave up ‘to hold your position’ near the door with many muscle power.

262 (of 1471) RRR July 26, 1993 at 0:07 JST (44 characters)
…you think “mansion” means “concrete hovel”.

263 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 26, 1993 at 12:53 JST (225 characters)
…you no longer do a double-take at someone wearing mismatched plaids or a plaid and stripe combination. Or at a man wearing white socks with a suit. Especially white socks with a pipe and smoke ring design on the side.

264 (of 1471) JER July 26, 1993 at 13:07 JST (97 characters)
…you wonder where you too can buy those women’s slippers to wear (this one was for the guys)

265 (of 1471) JIM3396 July 26, 1993 at 13:40 JST (107 characters)
…when you avoid antagonizing men who wear pink women’s slippers four sizes too small — half-credit to Jer

266 (of 1471) COYOTE July 26, 1993 at 13:52 JST (182 characters)
…Well, I guess I haven’t been here that long, either. What parts of town do you have to frequent to see men wearing pink women’s slippers? Or maybe I’m
just not paying attention…

267 (of 1471) JER July 26, 1993 at 13:54 JST (190 characters)
To Coyote: Try Kabuki-cho (not the wimpy section near Big Camera, we’re talking DEEP Kabuki-cho.

268 (of 1471) RRR July 26, 1993 at 14:11 JST (147 characters)
Let’s rephrase:
…you think wearing pink women’s slippers is the real thing to do to show that you are a real macho with underworld connections.

271 (of 1471) VINCENTP July 26, 1993 at 16:20 JST (51 characters)
…when you take an evening off to be with your kids.

272 (of 1471) VINCENTP July 26, 1993 at 16:23 JST (82 characters)
Correction to 271:
…when you *need* to take an evening off to be with your kids.

273 (of 1471) JMANN July 26, 1993 at 16:30 JST (54 characters)
…you avoid anything that says amerikanfuu or gurumee.

276 (of 1471) RRR July 27, 1993 at 9:45 JST (74 characters)
…you think “foreigners, dogs, and pianos” are a natural set of things.

277 (of 1471) JER July 27, 1993 at 10:41 JST (84 characters)
…when you no longer flinch when someone describes someone or something as ‘almighty’

278 (of 1471) JER July 27, 1993 at 10:43 JST (135 characters)
…when you use the qualifier ‘plus-alpha’

281 (of 1471) JIM3396 July 27, 1993 at 12:07 JST (108 characters)
…when you aren’t surprised there could be 280 notes in this topic with little, perhaps no, repetitions……

283 (of 1471) RRR July 27, 1993 at 14:48 JST (71 characters)
…you think nothing about depositing your money with the Tomato Bank

284 (of 1471) JER July 27, 1993 at 14:50 JST (26 characters)
…or living in Tomato Villa

285 (of 1471) JER July 27, 1993 at 14:51 JST (124 characters)
…or having your hair cut at “Heart, Hair, and Elvis”
(I think I’m slipping out of “Too Long in Japan” and into “silly English”)

289 (of 1471) VINCENTP July 27, 1993 at 17:14 JST (61 characters)
… When you frown on your colleagues taking a two week holiday.

290 (of 1471) LOG July 27, 1993 at 17:38 JST (331 characters)
…you have a hay-fever attack on the plane from Cairns to Brisbane and sit sniffing juicily as usual, oblivious of the effect on the gaijin sitting next to you, until he mutters something poisonous, gets up, stomps off to the toilet, and comes back with a handful of tissues that he hands to you with a snarled “Here, use these.”

291 (of 1471) KINCH July 27, 1993 at 18:47 JST (445 characters)
… When you actually prefer listening to flat voices sing karaoke.
…When you can’t think of how to get rid of the stuff you found in the gomi all those years ago (what? throw it out?).

(RE 274 COLO)
…when you know that nobody outside Japan has the slightest interest or desire to comprehend such stories

292 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 27, 1993 at 22:25 JST (111 characters)
RE JMANN <>
Sorry to be picky, but that last one is a misspelling.
It should be *gulume*.

293 (of 1471) RRR July 27, 1993 at 23:46 JST (144 characters)
…you think 2 guys with light sticks guarding a little construction hole in a residential area one-way street at midnight are just about right

294 (of 1471) RRR July 29, 1993 at 0:00 JST (72 characters)
…you announce to your foreign friends that “Japan has four seasons”.

295 (of 1471) RRR July 29, 1993 at 9:52 JST (106 characters)
…you go to the doctor with a cold and are disappointed that he only gives you one small pack of pills.

296 (of 1471) COYOTE July 29, 1993 at 11:22 JST (97 characters)
… you go to the doctor with a cold! Or maybe this is an American (no money, no health care) bias.

297 (of 1471) RRR July 29, 1993 at 11:56 JST (94 characters)
…you don’t hesitate to sit down on a toilet seat that has electrical wires attached to it.

298 (of 1471) JER July 29, 1993 at 12:41 JST (38 characters)
…when you go to a doctor for anything!

299 (of 1471) VINCENTP July 29, 1993 at 13:48 JST (64 characters)
… When you don’t blink at hostesses wearing high school uniforms.

300 (of 1471) VINCENTP July 29, 1993 at 13:50 JST (86 characters)
… When you stop little old ladies from cutting in front of you as the train doors open

301 (of 1471) RRR July 29, 1993 at 13:54 JST (111 characters)
(inspired by VincentP)
…when you are afraid of little old ladies giving a sharp elbow to your solar plexus.

302 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 29, 1993 at 14:48 JST (55 characters)
…when you don’t blink at hostesses wearing nuns habits.

303 (of 1471) RWALKER July 29, 1993 at 15:14 JST (68 characters)
…when you run scared from little old ladies with pointy umbrellas.

304 (of 1471) JIM3396 July 29, 1993 at 15:18 JST (127 characters)
…when you’ve come to the realization that the most dangerous thing in the world is an obatarion after a seat on the train…..

305 (of 1471) JMANN July 29, 1993 at 18:03 JST (76 characters)
…when Summer starts with August and ends at the first clammy rain in September.

306 (of 1471) LOG July 29, 1993 at 18:09 JST (174 characters)
…you don’t think it odd for the people next door to go out for the day, leaving all their shoes basking in the sun in the front yard.

308 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 30, 1993 at 11:51 JST (28 characters)
…when your visa has expired!

309 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 30, 1993 at 11:53 JST (105 characters)
…when you go home on holiday and discover you’ve forgotten how to operate a self service gasoline pump…

310 (of 1471) JIM3396 July 30, 1993 at 12:20 JST (50 characters)
…when you have a visa that no longer expires……

311 (of 1471) JIM3396 July 30, 1993 at 12:21 JST (147 characters)
…when you go home on vacation, finally figure out how to pump gas, and when you’re finished stand around waiting for someone to collect the money.

312 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:21 JST (125 characters)
…when you go home on a holiday and discover you cannot operate the pay phones in your home town (after the breakup of AT&T!).

314 (of 1471) Modified by BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 13:43 JST (93 characters)
…when you go home and are surprised to find bulletproof glass separating you and the 7-11 cashier.

315 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:24 JST (94 characters)
…when you go home and find that the only thing you can shop for in the shopping mall is crack.

316 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:25 JST (113 characters)
…when you remember the days when it was the Japanese who were reluctant to go into bars in Chinatown in Yokohama.

317 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:26 JST (95 characters)
…when you remember the days when bars in Chinatown could not survive without foreign customers.

318 (of 1471) Modified by BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 13:44 JST (163 characters)
…when you remember when kougo heika (the white-faced person with the 1890s outfit and parasol roaming Yokohama) was in her (his? it was never really clear) prime.

319 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:29 JST (284 characters)
…when you remember there were so many foreigners’ bars in Chinatown in Yokohama that you could bar hop for a number of evenings in a row and not only just hit not the same bar twice, but even be able to stick to bars named after (1) girls or (2) birds (there were that many of each).

320 (of 1471) AJP July 30, 1993 at 12:29 JST (216 characters)
…when you go home on vacation and take great delight in answering any question asked in English by a Japanese with “nihongo wakarimasen, nihongo wakarimasen” (best said while waving your hand in front of your face.)

321 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:30 JST (224 characters)
…When you remember the masked marvel roaming the streets of Chinatown in Yokohama (this is a woman street person who was old when I was here 28 years ago and who still roams the streets, white mask, shopping basket and all.)

322 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:31 JST (112 characters)
…when you remember the days foreigners could go into any bar, perhaps because many people never expected us to do so.

323 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:31 JST (24 characters)
…when you remember Roy James.

324 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:32 JST (66 characters)
…when you remember Edith Hansen before she started wearing mompee.

325 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:32 JST (59 characters)
…when you remember many more Japanese women wearing mompee.

326 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:33 JST (154 characters)
…when you remember the fashion (necessity) of wearing rubber boots when it rained, because you needed to walk down unpaved roads to get home–or anywhere.

327 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:41 JST (284 characters)
…when you remember standing waiting at a bus stop, not having the bus come as scheduled, deciding to stop a taxi, and *not* worrying about competition from locals (and certainly not female locals), because the locals did not generally have this as an option to the more economical bus.

328 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:42 JST (156 characters)
…when you go home and wonder why you get arrested for peeing against a building. I mean–it didn’t have a torii on it and you were not even facing traffic!

329 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:43 JST (71 characters)
…when you go home and are appalled at the sloppy dress of people in offices.

330 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:44 JST (23 characters)
…when you enjoy curry pizza.

331 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:44 JST (37 characters)
…when you enjoy curry pizza for breakfast.

332 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:44 JST (90 characters)
…when you think that salad, overcooked eggs, and raw bacon is a wonderful way to start the day.

333 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:45 JST (37 characters)
…when you think curry rice is Indian food.

334 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:45 JST (58 characters)
…when you think hamburgers are supposed to contain rabbit meat.

335 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:46 JST (105 characters)
…when you are no longer worried about that fateful day when the hamburger disappears from the McDonald’s menu.

336 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:47 JST (188 characters)
…when you go home and are surprised to find that the management of your local golden arches (does this need a gloss?) thinks you should order more than a coke if you plan on staying for 3 hours.

337 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:48 JST (80 characters)
…when you go home and are surprised to find that English is not spoken in McDonald’s.

338 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:48 JST (104 characters)
…when you go to New York and find that neither English nor Japanese is spoken in the local kitten sushi shop.

339 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 12:49 JST (100 characters)
…when you go to Nueva York and find that indeed you can order miso ramen in Spanish in the local Dosanko.

340 (of 1471) JER July 30, 1993 at 13:47 JST (43 characters)
BILLLISE
YOU have been in Japan TOO long!

341 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 14:36 JST (40 characters)
JER: sorya mitomezaru wo enaindesunee

342 (of 1471) RRR July 30, 1993 at 14:36 JST (55 characters)
…you wonder what ever happened to the “Pink Ladies”

343 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 14:39 JST (126 characters)
Off the topic, but both the ladies (pink, that is) are around and acting, one of them singing, sometimes in French, no less.

344 (of 1471) RRR July 30, 1993 at 17:47 JST (179 characters)
Billlise: You got to be the undisputed sensei around here. Could you give me a hint about Roy James and Edith Hansen? Never heard about them. Maybe I haven’t been TLIJ after all.

345 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 30, 1993 at 18:20 JST (255 characters)
Roy James was an ethnically Turkish Japanese. Edith Hansen married and divorced a bunraku artist, is involved with amnesty international, and speaks kansai ben. They are both in what I refer to as the dai 1-ji henna gaijin buumu (we are in 2 right now).

346 (of 1471) RRR July 31, 1993 at 12:22 JST (79 characters)
…you go for lunch with a few people and order “the same as everybody else”.

347 (of 1471) MIMO July 31, 1993 at 21:47 JST (34 characters)
…you have to pay ‘shussanhiyo’

348 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:43 JST (67 characters)
…when you look forward to the release of the next Tora-san movie.

349 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:43 JST (73 characters)
…when you wish that Ueki Hitoshi would go back to making comedy movies.

350 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:43 JST (74 characters)
…when you begin to think that Ueki Hitoshi is an accomplished guitarist.

351 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:44 JST (143 characters)
…when a TV program profiling the previous week’s activities by Imperial Family members comes on and you don’t immediately change the station.

352 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:44 JST (135 characters)
…when the Imperial Family comes up in a discussion and you’re the only one in the room that knows the name of the one with the beard.

353 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:44 JST (73 characters)
…when you regularly follow the plot line of NHK’s 8:15 a.m. soap opera.

354 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:44 JST (87 characters)
…when you begin to think the acting on NHK’s 8:15 a.m. soap opera isn’t all that bad.

355 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:44 JST (107 characters)
…when you can recognize more than two actresses on TV who made their debut on NHK’s 8:15 a.m. soap opera.

356 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:44 JST (135 characters)
…when you know how many actors have played the lead on Mito Komon and you can hold your own in a discussion of their relative merits.

357 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:44 JST (131 characters)
…when you see a TV drama featuring Izumi Pinko in a prominent role and wonder when Fujioka Takuya is going to make an appearance.

358 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:44 JST (129 characters)
…when you see a drama produced by an NHK outlet that is set outside of Tokyo and think they did a piss-poor job on the dialect.

359 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:44 JST (66 characters)
…when you can remember when Beat Takeshi wore his hair in bangs.

360 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:45 JST (126 characters)
…when you’re not surprised that Ishihara Shintaro’s son is becoming a spokesman for the LDP after only one term in the Diet

361 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:45 JST (96 characters)
…when you’re not surprised that Ishihara Shintaro’s son got elected to the Diet to begin with.

362 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:45 JST (38 characters)
…when you own a recording by Yuming.

363 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:45 JST (63 characters)
…when you realize that Kuwata Keisuke is singing in Japanese.

364 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:45 JST (151 characters)
…when you’re sitting in a yakitori and an enka song played over the shop’s sound system makes you feel nostalgic so you order another shochu oyuwari.

365 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:45 JST (79 characters)
…when you come to the conclusion that Shiranami shochu is the best after all.

366 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:45 JST (97 characters)
…when you think that a small dish of salt is the best tsumami to have with your shochu oyuwari.

367 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:45 JST (46 characters)
…when you go to a yakitori and order suzume.

368 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:46 JST (146 Characters)
…when you go to a sunakku and the hostess you’re talking to tells you you’re kind of cute and your response is to ask her how many kids she has.

369 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:46 JST (44 Characters)
…when you switch to Golden Bat cigarettes

370 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:46 JST (55 Characters)
…when you recognize a Kishida Kyoko voice-over on TV

371 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:46 JST (85 Characters)
…when you enjoy listening to Mino Monta do the voice-over for Chin puree kou puree.

372 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:46 JST (155 Characters)
…when you go to the trouble to follow enough of the activities of the Yomiuri Giants so you can talk about them in a conversation for o-tsukiai purposes

373 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:46 JST (60 Characters)
…when you begin to think Japanese baseball is interesting.

374 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:46 JST (103 Characters)
(for those from the provinces)
…when you go to Tokyo and make a special trip to see the Tokyo Dome.

376 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:47 JST (185 Characters)
…when your wife comes home with a dress she bought in a sale that was marked down 50% and it’s still twice the price of a comparable dress in the US and you think she got a good deal.

377 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:47 JST (59 Characters)
…when you begin thinking that gaijin are kind of oozappa.

378 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:47 JST (135 Characters)
…when a new gaijin in the office asks you why you were bowing when you were talking on the telephone and you didn’t realize you were.

379 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:47 JST (65 Characters)
…when you begin to think that yaeba are kind of cute in a girl.

380 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:47 JST (38 Characters)
…when you start believing in ghosts.

381 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:47 JST (158 Characters)
…when you plan to build a new house and one of the considerations for the choice of land is whether there was an o-tera cemetery on the site 400 years ago.

382 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:47 JST (77 Characters)
…when you select a ramune when buying something cold to drink on a hot day.

383 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:47 JST (85 Characters)
…when someone asks you what you like best about summer and you answer nyuudou gumo.

384 (of 1471) SAKOVICH July 31, 1993 at 23:47 JST (69 Characters)
…when you remember when children got a 100-yen bill for otoshidama.

385 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 1:42 JST (38 Characters)
Congratulations to the new champion!

386 (of 1471) MILLER Aug. 1, 1993 at 11:14 JST (78 Characters)
…when a Japanese *chikan* thinks nothing of putting his hand on your crotch.

389 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 12:57 JST (323 Characters)
Correction to MILLER 387
No, no…..
you have been here too long when *you* think nothing of having a Japanese chikan put his hand on your crotch. I guess that’s what you meant, though. The Japanese chikan who wants to put his hand on your crotch doesn’t even know how long your crotch…err.. you have been here .

390 (of 1471) LOG Aug. 1, 1993 at 13:50 JST (124 Characters)
…you believe the weather forecast and put out all your bedding and washing on this beautifully sunny morning….

391 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 1, 1993 at 15:20 JST (53 Characters)
Vow, Sakovich, I think you’ve just outdone Billlise.

392 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 1, 1993 at 15:22 JST (103 Characters)
…you find the combination of clackering pin balls and loud military music soothing for your nerves.

393 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:10 JST (158 Characters)
RRR: I was the first to admit Sakovich’s new position on the throne of ‘been here too long’ quips (note 385) . Bill Lise @ reloading for a second round

394 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:18 JST (188 Characters)
…you go to a bar or restaurant at the invitation of a foreigner friend and at the end of the evening ask your friend whether it would be ok for you to come some time without him or her.

395 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:19 JST (81 Characters)
…you learn to squat while waiting for a bus without feeling like a zoku member.

396 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:19 JST (47 Characters)
…you learn to squat while doing other things.

397 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:20 JST (113 Characters)
…you can be dressed in a three-piece suit and read a manga on the train without checking to see who is looking.

398 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:22 JST (140 Characters)
…you hand your Japanese-only meishi to a foreigner working in J-E translation and apologize for not having an English version to hand out.

399 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:23 JST (84 Characters)
…you eagerly await the arrival of the nodojiman crew in your little part of Japan.

400 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:23 JST (45 Characters)
…you still enjoy singing in karaoke places.

401 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:24 JST (102 Characters)
…when you know which karaoke box are easiest to get tee-off times at during the peak singing hours.

402 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:25 JST (136 Characters)
…you can hold your own with the best of them, singing a heart-rending verse or two of that old favorite…..Senyuu no ikotsu wo Daite.

403 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:27 JST (63 Characters)
…you can sing Omoide no Sanfuranshisuko with a straight face.

404 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:27 JST (55 Characters)
…you can resist the urge to sing My Way as ‘Our’ Way.

405 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:28 JST (78 Characters)
…you like doing both the male and female parts of ginkoi at a karaoke place.

406 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:29 JST (204 Characters)
…when you think the epitome of karaoke singing is singing the lyrics of Yosaku to the melody of Ginza no Koi no Monogatari (this works, by the way, thanks to the very fixed structure of Japanese songs).

407 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:30 JST (43 Characters)
…you love being told your jokes are funny.

408 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:31 JST (159 Characters)
…you have learned the fine art of making a head call 10 minutes before you need to leave a place with your client so you can pick up the bill without a fight.

409 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:32 JST (95 Characters)
…you think it is acceptable to bring up menstruation at a company gathering in mixed company.

410 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:33 JST (192 Characters)
…you expect the female employees at a company overnight gathering to act as hostesses, including letting you cop a feel or two, of course in the name of promoting smooth personnel relations.

411 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:33 JST (86 Characters)
…you can fully understand why there are TV programs devoted to mahjong and pachinko.

412 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:35 JST (147 Characters)
…you enjoy guiding hapless Westerners around the city and answering sharp questions like ‘what was that icky stuff they made us eat this morning’

413 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:36 JST (88 Characters)
…you no longer have the energy to explain to locals why you can indeed use chopsticks.

414 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:37 JST (110 Characters)
…you start to expect that for every magazine you purchase you are allowed to read two for free in the store.

415 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:38 JST (37 Characters)
…you develop a taste for 7-11 oden.

416 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:39 JST (126 Characters)
…you start to like ‘cute’ stationary, like notebooks with decorative titles such as “we are cute bunnies enjoying the life”.

417 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:39 JST (97 Characters)
…you don’t have reservations about picking newspapers out of the garbage can at train stations.

418 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:40 JST (34 Characters)
…you learn to sleep standing up.

419 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:40 JST (66 Characters)
…you learn to listen for your station while sleeping standing up.

420 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:42 JST (38 Characters)
…you carry a fan on hot summer days.

421 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:42 JST (58 Characters)
…you learn to fold your umbrella neatly in 12.7 seconds.

422 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:43 JST (155 Characters)
…you have a revulsion for people who crumple gift wrappings up in front of the giver of the gift and then throw the wrappings aside like so much garbage.

423 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:44 JST (186 Characters)
…you learn how to wrap packages the Japanese way, placing them diagonally on the paper and knowing in an instant whether or not the paper you have selected is large enough for the job.

424 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:46 JST (157 Characters)
…you get nervous if the good guy in the jidaigeki you are watching doesn’t go into his act (complete with trumpet BGM) at 44 minutes after the hour–SHARP.

425 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:52 JST (82 Characters)
…you think that breakfast just isn’t breakfast without raw egg thrown over rice.

426 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:53 JST (82 Characters)
…you learn to effectively use more hand gestures than you ever saw Italians use.

427 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:53 JST (53 Characters)
…you count by pulling your fingers in towards you.

428 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:57 JST (223 Characters)
…you mutter than none of the younger singers in Japan are even distinctive enough to be imitated. Yes, the good old days of Itoh Hisao, Kirishima Noboru, Dick Mine (that’s meeneh, you turkeys out there!), and Obata Minoru!

429 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:58 JST (139 Characters)
…you lament the fact that the current Tamagawa Katsutarou doesn’t come close to the sendai Tamagawa Katsutarou (roukyokushi, by the way).

430 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:59 JST (34 Characters)
…you chant roukyoku in the bath.

431 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 16:59 JST (83 Characters)
…you know more Minami Haruo songs that most karaoke places have on their ‘menus’.

432 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:00 JST (93 Characters)
…you think that indeed ‘okyakusama wa kamisama de gozaimasu’. Well, at least ‘kane sama’.

433 (of 1471) JMANN Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:07 JST (82 Characters)
You’ve mastered the art of unwrapping a 7-11 onigiri without mangling the nori.

434 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:09 JST (122 Characters)
…when one of your reasons for preferring a particular sushi shop is that they use higher quality rice

435 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:09 JST (92 Characters)
…when you actually read the Nikkei Shimbun’s Saturday supplement before you throw it away

436 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:09 JST (116 Characters)
…when you start to pay attention to segments on TV programs that explain what Yamaguchi Momoe’s been up to lately.

437 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:09 JST (89 Characters)
…when you begin to feel sorry for Yamada Kuniko because she hasn’t found a husband yet

438 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:09 JST (58 Characters)
…when you can name at least two members of The Taigaazu.

439 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:09 JST (51 Characters)
…when you remember what Yuming’s maiden name was.

440 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:10 JST (83 Characters)
…when you begin to think kokusaika is more advanced in Japan than it is in Oubei.

441 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:10 JST (153 Characters)
…when you’re no longer surprised that the old woman in mompei who runs the yatai in front of the jinja would know more Deborah Kerr movies than you do.

442 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:10 JST (248 Characters)
…when you’re no longer surprised during the course of a conversation in a koryori-ya that people know off the top of their heads things like the exact height of Mt. Everest in meters or the location and length of the world’s longest oil pipeline

443 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:10 JST (105 Characters)
…when you’ve been asked to join an organization with a name like, “The Button-Down Club”, and you join.

444 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:10 JST (145 Characters)
…when on the Monday following the recent general election you could’ve predicted the LDP would choose Kono Yohei to replace Miyazawa as sousai.

445 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:10 JST (55 Characters)
…when you actually care who the LDP chooses as sosai.

446 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:10 JST (74 Characters)
…when you begin to wonder what the Hanshin Tigers’ problem is this year.

447 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:10 JST (83 Characters)
…when you live in Kyushu and root for the Seibu Lions instead of the Daiei Hawks.

448 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:10 JST (54 Characters)
…when you refrain from clipping your nails at night.

449 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:11 JST (212 Characters)
…when you pick up a sports shimbun in the barber shop and turn immediately to the column in the back that speculates on the nature of the sexual organs and sexual responses of female movie and TV personalities.

450 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:11 JST (97 Characters)
…when you watch an American movie on television and marvel at how long the actresses’ legs are.

451 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 17:11 JST (71 Characters)
…when you remember when Koyanagi Tetsuko actually acted for a living.

452 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:52 JST (183 Characters)
(sigh) I should know better than to try to keep up with Billlise, particularly when I have to clean up some translations for Monday morning, but – absolutely my last batch for today.

453 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:52 JST (147 Characters)
…when you’re singing along with laserdisc karaoke and when it comes to the end of the song, you think it’s funny to close with, “Rokechi, Tokyo”.

454 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:52 JST (199 Characters)
…when you dislike all the places with modern karaoke songs and instead patronize shops with laser discs with WWII-era footage of Zerosen pilots behind lyrics to songs like, “Gekkasuimokukinkinkin”.

455 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:58 JST (91 Characters)
…when you can sing the lyrics to songs like “Gekkasuimokukinkinkin” without any trouble

456 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:58 JST (58 Characters)
…when you cried at the end of the movie, “Zerosen Moyu”.

457 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:58 JST (213 Characters)
…when you go abroad to someplace like London and go out of your way to hunt up the local karaoke bar so you can go in and sing part of your repertoire and leave all the expatriate Japanese wondering who you are.

458 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:58 JST (124 Characters)
SAKOVICH 454: You’ve been there ! I usually sing it
Aaaaaaasada yoake da
Ushi no ibiki
And very few people notice.

459 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:58 JST (107 Characters)
…when you show off at a karaoke bar by not looking at the book of lyrics or the laser disc when you sing

460 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:58 JST (149 Characters)
…when you have a little too much to drink at a karaoke bar and lead the customers in a spontaneous rendition of the theme song to “Tetsuwan Atomu”.

461 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:58 JST (88 Characters)
…when you start to prefer hashigo to staying in the same place for an entire evening

462 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:58 JST (45 Characters)
…when you have a shochu kiipu at a yakitori

464 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:58 JST (61 Characters)
…when you begin to think shochu oyuwari is otokorashikunai.

465 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:59 JST (174 Characters)
…when you’re at party and the group is keeping time for a singer by clapping its hands, and at the end of each clap you rub your palms together slowly before the next clap.

466 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:59 JST (181 Characters)
…when you’re at party and the group is keeping time for a singer by clapping its hands, and your timing for interjections like, “Ah, sore”, or, “Umai”, doesn’t raise an eyebrow.

467 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:59 JST (128 Characters)
…when you’re at a party and everyone asks you to get up and sing a song, and you get up and sing your wife’s high school song.

468 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:59 JST (60 Characters)
…when you can explain to a new gaijin how play takarakuji

469 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:59 JST (87 Characters)
…when you can hear the statement that Japanese men are harder and not laugh out loud

470 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:59 JST (59 Characters)
…when you hold a ping pong racket like you hold a pencil.

471 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:59 JST (117 Characters)
…when you’re filling out a form in public and you absent-mindedly start twirling your shaapu pen around your thumb.

472 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:59 JST (104 Characters)
…when you start giving taxi drivers instructions on which route to take as soon as you get in the cab

473 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 19:59 JST (168 Characters)
…when you give the cab driver a 1000-yen note for a 750-yen ride, wave your hand in front of your face and say, “kekkou desu”, and open the door yourself and get out.

474 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 20:00 JST (127 Characters)
…when you go to the US for a vacation and take the keys to the rental car and start to get in the car on the right-hand side.

475 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 20:00 JST (229 Characters)
…when you go to the US for a vacation and you drive down the expressway and you say there aren’t as many Japanese cars as you’d thought there’d be, and your wife replies there are more Japanese cars than she thought there’d be.

477 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 20:00 JST (224 Characters)
…when you’re watching the Koujien high school baseball tournament and you tell your Japanese friends that you miss Tsuta-kantoku of Ikeda Koukou in Kouchi-ken and that you think he would have made a great dairiigu manager.

478 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 20:00 JST (99 Characters)
…when you own a double-breasted black “reifuku” suit and a black tie and white tie to go with it

479 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 20:00 JST (147 Characters)
…when you go to city hall to renew your gaijin card and the clerk behind the desk greets you by name. (not out of the question in the provinces)

480 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 20:00 JST (115 Characters)
…when you say to heck with it and go to a supiido shashin machine to take your pictures for your new gaijin card.

481 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 20:00 JST (82 Characters)
…when you know how to say “Marco Polo Bridge” in Japanese without looking it up

482 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 20:01 JST (146 Characters)
…when you are out with a group of people who are speaking in the local dialect and you don’t have to ask anybody what a word means in hyoujungo.

483 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 20:01 JST (121 Characters)
…when you can make a play on words between two words, one of which is hyoujungo, and the other is in the local dialect.

484 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 20:01 JST (133 Characters)
…when you are absolutely confident of your ability to get big laughs by describing your tribulations in learning the local dialect

485 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 20:01 JST (56 Characters)
…when you went out of your way to eat unagi yesterday.

486 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 21:48 JST (333 Characters)
…when you start confiding to your Japanese friends that you think the Japanese language is going to hell because people no longer make distinctions in pronouncing the su with the dakuon and the tsu with the dakuon.

487 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 1, 1993 at 21:48 JST (237 Characters)
And one more while I’m at it…

…when you’re keeping score in a game with a pencil and paper and when someone gets five points, you don’t write it IIII with a horizontal slash, but with the strokes to the character “tadashii” instead.

488 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 2, 1993 at 0:30 JST (214 Characters)
I feel kind of like sandwiched in my Volkswagen between two tractor trailer trucks on the highway, but here goes…
…when you go to a lecture and show your deep appreciation by leaning back and falling asleep.

489 (of 1471) JMANN Aug. 2, 1993 at 5:19 JST (88 Characters)
You time your barber shop visits according to their shuukan zasshi replacement cycle.

490 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 2, 1993 at 9:34 JST (48 Characters)
…you never put your attache case on a table.

491 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:10 JST (148 Characters)
…when you can tell a _hantahhh_* commercial before that guy at the end says, “hantahhhhh”.
*Hunter is the name of a pawn shop for used records.

492 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:10 JST (103 Characters)
…when you can accept a Renown commercial without wondering what the heck it’s all supposed to mean.

493 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:10 JST (182 Characters)
…when you quip to your friends (in English) that the only things certain are death, taxes, and that there is a marui right near the station (yes, we have marui in Fujisawa too)

494 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:10 JST (128 Characters)
…when the Yodobashi camera (marui midori wa yamanote-sen…) lyrics are the only lyrics you can place to that familiar tune.

495 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:10 JST (101 Characters)
…when you search for the late-night news program with the announcer that shows the most cleavage

496 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:10 JST (138 Characters)
…when the only thing you can think of to console your wife about having such a rowdy boy is, “wanpakku demo ii, takumashiku sodateba.”

497 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:10 JST (94 Characters)
…when you pop a Yamashita Tatsuro tape in your car stereo before driving off to the beach

498 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:11 JST (110 Characters)
…when you take the tape out before reaching the beach to avoid being labeled as a *wan pattan* kinda guy

499 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:11 JST (39 Characters)
…when you feel sorry for Takagi Bu.

500 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:11 JST (80 Characters)
…when you think Kato-chan is genuinely funnier than Shimura Ken will ever be.

501 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:11 JST (109 Characters)
…when you were heart-broken that the Candies broke-up and always felt sorry for Miki-chan (girl on left)

502 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:11 JST (62 Characters)
…when you think Ru Oshiba is a funny guy. Togeza shio ze!

503 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:11 JST (105 Characters)
…when you remember how Beat Takeshi’s All-night Nippon was the funniest radio program you ever heard.

504 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:11 JST (102 Characters)
…when you remember how Kume Hiroshi was just another sleazy guy after a piece of Momoe-chan’s ass.

505 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:11 JST (187 Characters)
…when you talk about Momoe-chan with your friends who also have been in Japan too long and you all agree how it was obvious they were going to get married way before it was announced.

506 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:11 JST (144 Characters)
…when you think it’s essential that wedding coverages of celebrities by Morning and Afternoon Variety shows include the cost of the wedding.

507 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:11 JST (113 Characters)
…when you prefer to have your weekly feed of *geino* gosship given to you by seasoned reporter Nashimoto-san

508 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:12 JST (125 Characters)
…when you remember watching Weekender on Saturdays at 10 PM and remember who Aozora Haruo was. Da dara da da daaaaaaaaaa

509 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:12 JST (127 Characters)
…if you get upset when the other driver doesn’t nod or honk in acknowledgement after you’ve given him/her the right of way

510 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:12 JST (102 Characters)
…if you’ve become humble enough that you can settle for saying *maitta-naa* instead of *aw-shit!*

511 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:12 JST (60 Characters)
…if you can relate to all the nostalgia of Chibi Maruko.

512 (of 1471) JOJI Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:12 JST (93 Characters)
…you don’t think it’s strange for Sanma to be co-host to the late-night sports news show.

513 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:31 JST (96 characters)
…when you remember that Zakoba’s former name when he was a ‘repootaa’ on Weekender was Choumaru.

514 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:34 JST (231 Characters)
…you remember the song that Kamon Tatsuya is parodying when he sings
Ore wa Shindeii Roopaa da !
(It was the closest thing that Japanese could come to a Japanese version of the Chipmunks that is being parodied, by the way)

515 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:35 JST (119 Characters)
…when you remember the King Tones, and are tempted to go see them when they are playing in your local 3-ryuu kyabare.

516 (of 1471) ADINTERTOK Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:35 JST (57 characters)
… when read through notes like these — and enjoy it!

517 (of 1471) JIM3396 Aug. 2, 1993 at 13:37 JST (111 Characters)
Joji, how ’bout when you can remember when the late-night celebrity with the most cleavage was Karuselu Maki?

518 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 2, 1993 at 14:02 JST (117 characters)
…when you are surprised to see a pink Porsche 911 on the Tomei. (saw one yesterday, surprised the hell out of me!)

519 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 2, 1993 at 14:02 JST (99 characters)
…when you develop a liking for the little tubs of “white acrylic paint” that come with your coffee

520 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 2, 1993 at 14:02 JST (67 characters)
…when you think that stuffed toys along a car rear window are cute.

521 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 2, 1993 at 14:02 JST (34 characters)
…when you prefer red wine chilled.

522 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 2, 1993 at 14:02 JST (45 characters)
…when you qualify for a Japanese credit card.

523 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 2, 1993 at 14:02 JST (75 characters)
…when you buy all of the gear before trying a new hobby for the first time.

524 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 2, 1993 at 14:02 JST (117 characters)
…when your friend goes to Hawaii for a honeymoon and you’re not surprised when given a box of Macadamia nut chocolates.

525 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 2, 1993 at 14:02 JST (53 characters)
…when “sea chicken” on a pizza makes your mouth water.

526 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 2, 1993 at 14:02 JST (67 characters)
…when “Speak Lark” no longer makes you want to do bird impressions.

527 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 2, 1993 at 14:02 JST (104 characters)
…when the Department of Internal Affairs in you home country says they no longer have any record of you.

528 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 2, 1993 at 14:02 JST (92 characters)
…when you stop arguing and apologize upon hearing a Japanese official utter the word “dame”.

529 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 2, 1993 at 14:02 JST (110 characters)
…when you don’t bother counting the change from a 10,000 yen note after buying a coke and an o-nigiri at 7-11

530 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 2, 1993 at 14:03 JST (153 characters)
…when you realize the most informed piece of journalism in the Japan Times
is “The Far Side.” (Daily Yomiuri readers should substitute “Calvin & Hobbes”)

537 (of 1471) ADINTERTOK Aug. 2, 1993 at 16:55 JST (83 Characters)
…when you finally stop running around saying “doshite ” about 100 times a day.

538 (of 1471) KINCH Aug. 2, 1993 at 17:33 JST (283 Characters)
…When you stop writing to friends cos you don’t think you’ve anything to write about.

539 (of 1471) JMANN Aug. 2, 1993 at 17:45 JST (52 Characters)
You believe that gobbledygook you’re translating.

540 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 2, 1993 at 17:53 JST (159 Characters)
Sorry about the nun hype…..I just saw it covered in a sleazy weekly some years back…..in the place I was in they were miko…..jasuto jooku jasuto jooku

541 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 2, 1993 at 17:54 JST (154 Characters)
…you stop using the pronoun anata whenever you would have used you in English and figure out that personal pronouns are virtually unneeded in any form.

542 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 2, 1993 at 19:33 JST (74 Characters)
…you book a package tour back home and look for the guy with the flag.

543 (of 1471) JMANN Aug. 2, 1993 at 21:56 JST (90 Characters)
You’ve been here longer than the age of the person asking if you’ve been in Japan long.

544 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 2, 1993 at 22:46 JST (93 Characters)
…..you hit the mark Joe…how many times have I been able to say longer than you!

546 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 3, 1993 at 9:50 JST (58 Characters)
…you think the “Othello” game is a Japanese invention.

547 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 3, 1993 at 11:12 JST (88 Characters)
…when the pooper-scooper vacuum truck comes to your neighborhood and you don’t notice.

548 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 3, 1993 at 11:12 JST (109 Characters)
…when your idea of the way to drink cognac is to mix one-half of a shot with a glass full of water and ice

549 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 3, 1993 at 11:12 JST (65 Characters)
…when you prefer surume to pretzels as a tsumami for your beer.

550 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 3, 1993 at 11:12 JST (37 Characters)
…when you forget what pretzels are.

551 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 3, 1993 at 11:12 JST (44 Characters)
…when you forget what mashed potatoes are.

552 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 3, 1993 at 11:12 JST (139 Characters)
…when you’re working on something two rooms away, yet you immediately realize when an Osaka-based Yoshimoto Kougyou comedian comes on TV.

553 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 3, 1993 at 11:12 JST (87 Characters)
…when the post office delivers packages from overseas that haven’t been opened first

554 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 3, 1993 at 11:12 JST (81 Characters)
…when your choice for tachiyomi material at the bookstore is the Bungei Shunju

555 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 3, 1993 at 11:13 JST (60 Characters)
…when you prefer the dubbed version of Dirty Harry reruns.

556 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 3, 1993 at 11:13 JST (78 Characters)
…when you arrange your Sunday evening schedule around the program “Shouten”

557 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 3, 1993 at 11:53 JST (61 Characters)
…you think it takes a week before toast bread gets moldy.

558 (of 1471) JMANN Aug. 3, 1993 at 14:57 JST (89 Characters)
You remember when you could get smashed out of your skull on ikkyuu sake for 2000 yen.

559 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 3, 1993 at 15:25 JST (101 Characters)
Billlise/Sakovich:
Why do you guys make me feel I have only been in Japan for an awfully short time?

560 (of 1471) RWALKER Aug. 3, 1993 at 18:01 JST (57 Characters)
You think pastel decorations make your truck more macho.

561 (of 1471) RWALKER Aug. 3, 1993 at 18:01 JST (57 Characters)
The people at the kuyakusho don’t patronize you anymore.

562 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 3, 1993 at 23:27 JST (92 Characters)
…you are in cafe back home and ask the waitress if she can give you “morning service”.

564 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 4, 1993 at 0:26 JST (44 Characters)
I have heard people call that a ‘morner’.

566 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 4, 1993 at 11:02 JST (78 Characters)
…you watch “Naruhodo za World” to learn something about foreign countries.

567 (of 1471) CHRISG Aug. 4, 1993 at 16:17 JST (71 characters)
… When you miss the show called “Za Hangman” on Friday nights.

568 (of 1471) JIM3396 Aug. 4, 1993 at 17:21 JST (43 characters)
…when you miss “Playgirl” on tuesday nights

569 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 4, 1993 at 18:26 JST (98 Characters)
…you think nothing unusual about seeing local porno stars in prime time TV entertainment shows

570 (of 1471) JMANN Aug. 4, 1993 at 18:28 JST (62 Characters)
You crash into a glass door that doesn’t open automatically.

571 (of 1471) MILLER Aug. 4, 1993 at 19:10 JST (125 Characters)
…when you actually consider laying out 4,000 yen for a “Bust-up bra” that promises to give you cleavage you’ve never had.

572 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 4, 1993 at 20:51 JST (129 characters)
…you seriously consider ordering a “natto and mushroom” pizza.

573 (of 1471) JIM3396 Aug. 5, 1993 at 1:09 JST (142 characters)
…when you stand in front of a glass door, getting more and more annoyed at the malfunctioning mechanism………and then realize it ain’t automatic

574 (of 1471) COLO Aug. 5, 1993 at 16:52 JST (75 Characters)
You no longer care whether the ofuro-lady is sneaking peaks as you undress

575 (of 1471) COLO Aug. 5, 1993 at 16:53 JST (60 Characters)
The ofuro-lady no longer sneaks peeks at you as you undress

576 (of 1471) JIM3396 Aug. 5, 1993 at 16:59 JST (117 characters)
…when you stop hoping the ofuro-lady is sneaking peeks as you undress…..
wait a minute! that’s for TOO OLD IN JAPAN.

577 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 5, 1993 at 17:11 JST (136 Characters)
…you don’t know the difference between a “politician” and a “gangster”

578 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 6, 1993 at 11:43 JST (52 Characters)
…you hear “Sanyo MBC225″ and think “natsukashii”

579 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 6, 1993 at 13:33 JST (128 characters)
…when you can ride a bicycle in a force 8 gale with an open umbrella and not fall off, or get wet! Or get hit by other traffic.

580 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 6, 1993 at 13:34 JST (50 characters)
…when you refer to WWII as the “Asian expedition.

581 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 6, 1993 at 13:39 JST (187 characters)
…when you know that when you pull up to a specific traffic light on your way to work at PRECISELY 08:07 it will be red
And when you also know that it will turn green at EXACTLY 08:09.15

582 (of 1471) JUNH Aug. 6, 1993 at 16:43 JST (142 characters)
…when you react to the train chikan with a string of expletives in Japanese–then have to stand it when he bursts out laughing and walks off.

583 (of 1471) JUNH Aug. 6, 1993 at 16:44 JST (58 characters)
…when you look for hoya on the local karaoke sunakku menu.

584 (of 1471) JUNH Aug. 6, 1993 at 16:45 JST (218 characters)
…when you are still standing in line at the bus stop after the bus has arrived and the door has opened, and it suddenly occurs to you that, yes, maybe you should get your bus pass out and, yes, even get on the bus….

585 (of 1471) JUNH Aug. 6, 1993 at 16:47 JST (124 characters)
…when you notice that the woman in kimono has no “panty” line below her obi and wonder why you see so few of these any more.

586 (of 1471) JUNH Aug. 6, 1993 at 16:48 JST (119 characters)
…when you carry a folding fan 365 days of the year to defend yourself from being accused of “having no sensu” (Gomen!)

587 (of 1471) JUNH Aug. 6, 1993 at 16:50 JST (110 characters)
…when you test the knowledge of your latest karaoke sunakku aite by asking him to write the words to kimigayo

588 (of 1471) JUNH Aug. 6, 1993 at 16:52 JST (125 characters)
…when you are asked about good Japanese-English translators and come up with the names Siedensticker, Reischauer, and Blythe.

589 (of 1471) JUNH Aug. 6, 1993 at 16:53 JST (103 characters)
…when you move into a new house and look for a place to store your pickle jars under the kitchen floor.

590 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 7, 1993 at 1:34 JST (73 Characters)
…when you are asked if you can swim, and you answer: Yes, xxx meters.

591 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 7, 1993 at 11:25 JST (72 Characters)
…when you begin to think Guam is an exotic place to go for a vacation.

592 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 7, 1993 at 13:12 JST (113 Characters)
…you expect to have the plot of a detective story explained to you both before *and* after the showing on TV.

593 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 7, 1993 at 18:08 JST (55 Characters)
…you think the best part of TV are the commercials.

594 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 8, 1993 at 11:24 JST (85 Characters)
…you think 900,000 visitors at a fireworks are really nothing out of the ordinary

595 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 8, 1993 at 12:32 JST (157 Characters)
…you feel perfectly normal stepping out of a brokerage house with 50,000 Dollars in cash in a cute paper bag in one hand, and a box of soap in the other.

596 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 8, 1993 at 22:15 JST (42 Characters)
…you think wet umbrellas need condoms.

597 (of 1471) RWALKER Aug. 9, 1993 at 9:30 JST (78 characters)
… you think menchi-katsu, kim-chee, and coffee sounds like a good breakfast.

598 (of 1471) RWALKER Aug. 9, 1993 at 9:30 JST (60 Characters)
…sake just doesn’t taste right unless served in a guinomi.

600 (of 1471) RWALKER Aug. 9, 1993 at 9:30 JST (45 characters)
… your mother talks about “you foreigners.”

601 (of 1471) RWALKER Aug. 9, 1993 at 9:30 JST (94 characters)
… you’re at an American restaurant and wonder why there’s no bottle of Tabasco on the table.

602 (of 1471) RWALKER Aug. 9, 1993 at 9:30 JST (76 characters)
… you’re at an American fast food joint and wonder why you can’t buy beer.

603 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 9, 1993 at 9:34 JST (100 characters)
… you’re at a Denny’s in the US and they look at you funny because you asked to do a botoru keepu.

604 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 9, 1993 at 9:53 JST (120 Characters)
…you are drinking with people back home and it annoys the hell out of you that they have to “Kampai” all over again.

605 (of 1471) PSEWARD Aug. 9, 1993 at 10:09 JST (336 Characters)
…on an outing, you insist on taking at least one picture of the participants in every possible permutation.
…you begin to spell last names in capital letters.

607 (of 1471) PSEWARD Aug. 9, 1993 at 14:46 JST (87 Characters)
…you vaguely think about visiting New Orleans to get a glimpse of “the real America.”

608 (of 1471) PSEWARD Aug. 9, 1993 at 14:48 JST (145 Characters)
…you look at a pack of Iranians and mutter to yourself that the Immigration Bureau had better start doing something about all these foreigners.

609 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 9, 1993 at 15:08 JST (386 Characters)
Billlise: It’s happening. In SUNDAYS (the new Weekender lookalike) they started a series called “How to be Japanese for Non-Japanese” or something like that. Last item was: …how to practice golf strokes on the platform without your umbrella… That was yours, wasn’t it?

610 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 9, 1993 at 15:11 JST (68 Characters)
RRR 609
Excuse me, I couldn’t read that note–I was taking a swing.

613 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 9, 1993 at 16:41 JST (82 Characters)
…when you consider going to Hakkeijima Sea Paradise on a date.

614 (of 1471) LOG Aug. 9, 1993 at 17:42 JST (109 Characters)
…you don’t think it odd to see a group of small children taking it in turns to play janken with a machine.

615 (of 1471) LOG Aug. 9, 1993 at 17:44 JST (270 Characters)
…you accept the clothing manufacturers’ assumption that women taller than the Japanese average are slim, and those…er…wider than the Japanese average are short, and (being both taller _and_ wider) you settle for a pair of trousers that leaves your ankles exposed.

616 (of 1471) KINCH Aug. 9, 1993 at 17:53 JST (213 Characters)
…You think nothing about cycling at 50kph thru that one gap in that 200 meter line of kindergarten kids.
…Braking violently in front of that old lady that just stepped out has become completely instinctive.

617 (of 1471) KINCH Aug. 9, 1993 at 17:53 JST (432 Characters)
…When going home you know roughly what position your bike is going to be in that 10 meter high pile of bikes, cos you park it the same place in front of the no-no-parking department store, and you know the order in which the old geezers will pile up the offending bikes.

…When you know that buying a bike will NOT get you to work earlier, cos you have to get up 1 hour earlier to find a place in the ‘official’ parking areas.

618 (of 1471) KINCH Aug. 9, 1993 at 17:54 JST (258 Characters)
…When you are confused when the action drama does not end with somebody falling over a cliff or admitting their guilt over a gravestone.
…When you are confused when the police arrive just BEFORE the hero/heroine has made that last impassioned speech.

619 (of 1471) KINCH Aug. 9, 1993 at 17:54 JST (242 Characters)
…When you actually start to believe the psychic programs and get scared by the eerie noise they always have in the background.
…When you laugh at practical joke programs where people get emotionally destroyed and physically mutilated.

620 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 10, 1993 at 0:53 JST (189 Characters)

…you have mastered the art of letting your right foot drag for the first few hundred meters when taking off. Not good for either safety or heels, but very kakou ii.

621 (of 1471) MIMO Aug. 10, 1993 at 1:19 JST (64 Characters)
…you think, shaving during driving your car is a normal action

622 (of 1471) MIMO Aug. 10, 1993 at 1:21 JST (135 Characters)
…you are driving on the Tohoku and you think, if you follow one of these ‘speed-drivers’ , your chance is 50/50 that he has a radarWarner

623 (of 1471) MIMO Aug. 10, 1993 at 1:21 JST (68 characters)
… you believe, it is necessary to travel to the NEPUTA in Hirosaki

624 (of 1471) MIMO Aug. 10, 1993 at 1:22 JST (60 characters)
… you wonder why some people always want to shake your hand.

626 (of 1471) MIMO Aug. 10, 1993 at 1:23 JST (43 characters)
… your children calls you Otosan/Okasan .

627 (of 1471) MIMO Aug. 10, 1993 at 1:24 JST (48 characters)
… you get drunken after an half hour in a bar.

628 (of 1471) MIMO Aug. 10, 1993 at 1:25 JST (53 characters)
… you think, 5cm high cork-shoes is latest fashion.

629 (of 1471) MIMO Aug. 10, 1993 at 1:26 JST (70 characters)
…when you think purple and pink is nice design for street workers excavator.

630 (of 1471) MIMO Aug. 10, 1993 at 1:27 JST (101 Characters)
…you expect that you don’t have to buy any tissue, if you pass enough strategic points at stations.

631 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 10, 1993 at 3:37 JST (153 characters)
…when you buy a ski rack for your car, but you don’t own any skis.
Matter of fact, you’ve never even been skiing, but the rack looks great on the car…

632 (of 1471) VINCENTP Aug. 10, 1993 at 9:26 JST (122 Characters)
MIMO 629
and when you expect the operator of that purple and pink excavator to be wearing red lipstick and blue eyeliner.

633 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 10, 1993 at 11:26 JST (93 Characters)
Mimo 621:
Not to squabble, but I understand this is “Too Long in California” as well, right?

634 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 10, 1993 at 11:26 JST (71 Characters)
…you have mastered the art of simultaneous bowing and hand-shaking.

636 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 10, 1993 at 16:17 JST (77 Characters)
…you think it takes a minimum of 10 visits to the dentist to fix a tooth.

638 (of 1471) PSEWARD Aug. 11, 1993 at 9:17 JST (112 Characters)
…when you think it’s alright to stick your head into a stranger’s apartment to see if anybody’s home.

639 (of 1471) PSEWARD Aug. 11, 1993 at 9:17 JST (144 Characters)
…when NHK warnings about landslides, heavy rains, lightning or fog make you feel reassured that someone is benevolently watching over you.

640 (of 1471) PSEWARD Aug. 11, 1993 at 10:39 JST (89 Characters)
…you decide to take a foreign visitor to see an old temple, a kabuki play and Ginza.

641 (of 1471) PSEWARD Aug. 11, 1993 at 10:39 JST (131 Characters)
…you begin to think that, even in the United States, people naturally want to pay on time and will feel guilty if they don’t.

642 (of 1471) PSEWARD Aug. 11, 1993 at 10:39 JST (120 Characters)
…you think that, even in the United States, you can have dinner in a restaurant without having to humor the waiter.

643 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 11, 1993 at 13:36 JST (88 characters)
…when the first accessory you buy for your motorcycle is a flip-up license plate holder.

644 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 11, 1993 at 13:36 JST (54 characters)
…when the next thing you buy for your bike is a clock.

645 (of 1471) VINCENTP Aug. 11, 1993 at 14:01 JST (32 characters)
…when you buy a TV for your car.

646 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 11, 1993 at 14:24 JST (50 Characters)
…you wear underwear under your swimming trunks.

647 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 11, 1993 at 14:28 JST (59 Characters)
…your top is thinning and you consider “barcode style”.

648 (of 1471) PSEWARD Aug. 11, 1993 at 14:38 JST (89 Characters)
…you think it’s okay to ask a neighbor, whom you just met, if he likes “ura videos.”

649 (of 1471) JMANN Aug. 12, 1993 at 17:31 JST (115 Characters)
You cringe when someone puts shi after your name because you’ve seen it so often evolve into yougisha and hikoku.

650 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 12, 1993 at 17:41 JST (79 characters)
…when you buy pretty lace (L for Lace not R for Race) seat covers for your car.

651 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 12, 1993 at 17:52 JST (94 Characters)
…you think “white” is the colour for cars; except for Ferraris, in which case it is “red”.

652 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 13, 1993 at 4:58 JST (92 Characters)
…when you no longer wonder where the people on television ever dug up those awful clothes.

653 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 13, 1993 at 4:58 JST (259 Characters)
…when you find nothing unusual in a television commercial for candy in which a model dressed in a high school girl’s uniform comes up behind another model dressed in a high school girl’s uniform, grabs her left breast, gives a devilish grin, and skips away.

654 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 13, 1993 at 4:58 JST (140 Characters)
…when you find nothing unusual about a life insurance company using cartoon characters from that loveable Disney gang to sell its product (and when your wife reminds you that your life is insured by that same company)

655 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 13, 1993 at 4:59 JST (138 Characters)
…when you can’t read an instruction manual without some cute cartoon characters scattered throughout the pages to break up the monotony.

656 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 13, 1993 at 4:59 JST (198 Characters)
…when you begin to think the daughter of the family who runs your local sentou would be a good candidate for marriage because she’s seen it all already and there ain’t *nothin* gonna surprise her.

657 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 13, 1993 at 4:59 JST (64 Characters)
…when you consider changing your hair style to a panchu paama.

658 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 13, 1993 at 4:59 JST (142 Characters)
…when you think it might be a groovy idea to get one of those multicolored dragon tattoos on your back right after you get your panchu paama.

659 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 13, 1993 at 4:59 JST (71 Characters)
…when you go into a coffee shop and head right for the Gorgo 13 rack.

660 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 13, 1993 at 4:59 JST (69 Characters)
…when you go into a bookstore and head right for the Gorgo 13 rack.

661 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 13, 1993 at 4:59 JST (157 Characters)
…when you begin to consider writing an academic essay that investigates whether the lead character in Oishinbou might be the archetypal Japanese anti-hero.

662 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 13, 1993 at 15:39 JST (58 Characters)
…you think Beethoven’s Ode to Joy is a new year’s song.

663 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 14, 1993 at 14:56 JST (68 Characters)
…you think the natural location for a beer garden is on a *roof*.

664 (of 1471) MILLER Aug. 15, 1993 at 2:53 JST (77 Characters)
you pick up a bowl of cereal and drink the remaining milk as if were a cup.

665 (of 1471) LOG Aug. 15, 1993 at 8:45 JST (148 Characters)
…you believe the official explanation that a pair of woolly gloves will protect your hands from the blades of ice-skates if you fall on the rink.

666 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 16, 1993 at 16:01 JST (157 Characters)
…you are doing your thing at a pissoir and are not in the least disturbed by the two old ladies who are cleaning up and chatting within aiming distance.

667 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 17, 1993 at 15:18 JST (89 Characters)
…you are embarrassed to death because the phone number on your name card has changed.

668 (of 1471) JIM3396 Aug. 17, 1993 at 15:38 JST (382 characters)
…when you’re waiting in a six-deep line for the ticket machine at a station; when the person in front of you finally gets to the head of the line, he/she then pulls out a change purse and begins searching the overhead board to determine correct fare, then begins counting out 10-yen coins………and you do not get at all upset.
[note: i have not yet reached this exalted TLIJ state]

669 (of 1471) PSEWARD Aug. 17, 1993 at 17:02 JST (69 Characters)
…you think that you can impress foreigners by drinking Budweiser.

670 (of 1471) PSEWARD Aug. 17, 1993 at 17:02 JST (114 Characters)
…you believe that Japanese atrocities in WWII are approximately equivalent to American atrocities in Vietnam.

671 (of 1471) PSEWARD Aug. 17, 1993 at 17:03 JST (281 Characters)
…it does not strike you as strange that an attractive, fashionable and career-minded young woman who went to high school in the United States, graduated from Harvard and studied at Oxford has never, at least as far as the Imperial Household Agency can tell, had a boyfriend.

673 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 17, 1993 at 23:33 JST (98 Characters)

…you are alone in the jacuzzi and change position with every cue signal.

674 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 18, 1993 at 11:49 JST (64 Characters)
…you are back home and expect chocolates on Valentine’s day.

675 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 18, 1993 at 14:27 JST (82 Characters)
…you have mastered the art of run-walking to create that important busy image.

676 (of 1471) VINCENTP Aug. 18, 1993 at 15:51 JST (85 Characters)
.you are surprised the urinal does *not* flush automatically when you walk up to it.

677 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 19, 1993 at 13:59 JST (67 Characters)
…your idea of good room lighting is a neon tube on the ceiling.

678 (of 1471) PSEWARD Aug. 19, 1993 at 16:08 JST (83 Characters)
…it does not annoy you when a map is oriented in a direction other than north.

679 (of 1471) LOG Aug. 19, 1993 at 19:13 JST (102 Characters)
…landmarks are cigarette stands, and a distance of several kilometers is indicated by a short line.

680 (of 1471) PSEWARD Aug. 20, 1993 at 13:33 JST (220 Characters)
…you understand why a young girl, newly employed at a trust association, would comply without complaint to her boss’s order to go and get her picture taken for listing in a girly column in a local newspaper.

681 (of 1471) PSEWARD Aug. 20, 1993 at 13:33 JST (237 Characters)
…you are not surprised when, after the young girl gets murdered in connection with this, the bank says it cannot take any responsibility because she was acting on her own initiative in what was a personal, non-work-related matter.

683 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 20, 1993 at 15:49 JST (39 Characters)
…you ride a Honda Cub with sidecar.

684 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 20, 1993 at 15:50 JST (89 Characters)
…you think nothing about seeing 20 ads for women’s’ sanitary napkins during one movie.

687 (of 1471) PSEWARD Aug. 22, 1993 at 12:03 JST (120 Characters)
…you think that “between” can only be used when referring to two objects — “among” must be used for three or more.

688 (of 1471) PSEWARD Aug. 22, 1993 at 12:03 JST (101 Characters)
…you are surprised when a little English passage on a t-shirt or cereal box is not all that bad.

689 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 23, 1993 at 15:40 JST (70 Characters)
…you think 1 meter distance between two moving vehicles is plenty.

690 (of 1471) VINCENTP Aug. 23, 1993 at 16:52 JST (127 Characters)
…you resist the urge to jump in front of a train only because you don’t want your parents to be stuck with the cleaning bill.

691 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 23, 1993 at 21:25 JST (85 Characters)
…you have run out of snappy comebacks to compliments about your chopstick skills.

692 (of 1471) VINCENTP Aug. 24, 1993 at 8:19 JST (76 Characters)
…when people no longer tell you how good you are at using your chopsticks.

693 (of 1471) LOG Aug. 24, 1993 at 10:13 JST (50 Characters)
VINCENTP:
You can never be _that_ long in Japan.

694 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 24, 1993 at 11:00 JST (28 Characters)
…you think spiders jump.

695 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 24, 1993 at 13:21 JST (103 Characters)
…you think nothing about a residential building covered from top to bottom in white bathroom tiles.

696 (of 1471) VINCENTP Aug. 24, 1993 at 14:01 JST (64 Characters)
…you think Neruton Club is a pretty run of the mill TV show.

697 (of 1471) VINCENTP Aug. 24, 1993 at 14:03 JST (99 Characters)
…you watch Neruton Club and find yourself thinking things like “Hey, now *she’s* kinda a cute”.

698 (of 1471) VINCENTP Aug. 24, 1993 at 14:05 JST (166 Characters)
…you stop feeling sorry for the guys that have to run into the night after the girl says “gomen nasai”. (That was the last “Neruton Club” post from me, promise!)

699 (of 1471) RSM Aug. 24, 1993 at 17:32 JST (144 Characters)
You aren’t surprised that the main front-page story is on problems in determining when the rainy season ended: have we skipped summer entirely?

700 (of 1471) RSM Aug. 24, 1993 at 17:32 JST (46 Characters)
You read that front-page story with interest.

701 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 25, 1993 at 12:01 JST (53 Characters)
…you think everybody eats spaghetti with Tabasco.

702 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 25, 1993 at 14:10 JST (50 Characters)
…you think Ai Ijima has a great T-back figure.

703 (of 1471) BILLLISE Aug. 25, 1993 at 14:45 JST (51 Characters)
…you think Ai Iijima is beautiful from the front.

704 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 25, 1993 at 15:51 JST (55 Characters)
Billlise 703: Can anybody be *that* long in Japan?

705 (of 1471) JIM3396 Aug. 25, 1993 at 16:25 JST (61 Characters)
‘interesting’ from back or front — i’ve been here that long

706 (of 1471) COLO Aug. 26, 1993 at 1:18 JST (83 characters)
…when you no longer sleep well in unfamilair locations… unless the motor is running

707 (of 1471) COLO Aug. 26, 1993 at 1:18 JST (57 characters)
…when you’re considering buying an ashtray for your bicycle.

708 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 26, 1993 at 2:21 JST (71 Characters)
…you think blaring loudspeaker music on a ski slope is a *service*.

709 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 26, 1993 at 13:44 JST (102 Characters)

…you are convinced long hair can not be worn without some cute dongle in it.

711 (of 1471) FREDULEMAN Aug. 26, 1993 at 15:10 JST (133 Characters)
To add a few: …when you read the one about green tea ice cream and have to translate it into Japanese before you realize what it is.

712 (of 1471) FREDULEMAN Aug. 26, 1993 at 15:10 JST (404 Characters)
And a true story: …when you are visiting relatives in the States (and when you think of it as “visiting” and not “going home”) and the phone beside the bed rings early one morning and, in a daze, you pick it up and mumble “moshi moshi.” And then when the person on the other end says something in English about “is this the right number” to half-knock you out of your daze and you mumble “hello hello.”

713 (of 1471) FREDULEMAN Aug. 26, 1993 at 15:10 JST (398 Characters)
And another true story: …when you are traveling around Europe with a bunch of Japanese business people and, at the end of a particularly long party, they decide they will bring things to a close by teaching their hosts the well-known (o-te wo haishaku) san-bon-jime, and they want to demonstrate first so the leader tells just the Japanese to stand up. And you stand up. And nobody comments on it.

714 (of 1471) FREDULEMAN Aug. 26, 1993 at 15:11 JST (148 Characters)
And the last true story for now: …when they show the Univ of Tokyo Yasuda Koudo (auditorium bldg) on TV and you remember cheering for the students.

715 (of 1471) FREDULEMAN Aug. 26, 1993 at 15:11 JST (86 Characters)
Final thought: You’ve been here too long when you don’t remember how long it’s been.

717 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 27, 1993 at 17:45 JST (46 Characters)
…you go shopping to Hong Kong — of course.

718 (of 1471) GLEKO Aug. 27, 1993 at 18:27 JST (307 characters)
…when you ask a question like “How was your weekend” and you get an answer like ” i was for here to come but my parents live in Akita, so i couldn’t not exercise so we went for playing to tennis, but i like baseball on terebi, so my brother was sick to go” You nod your head and say “I see” and you do.

719 (of 1471) FREDULEMAN Aug. 27, 1993 at 19:22 JST (107 characters)
…when you assume something must be wrong if the other side wants to bring a lawyer to the contract negotiations.

720 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 27, 1993 at 22:21 JST (58 Characters)
…you start saying things like: “Yes, I can’t do this.”

721 (of 1471) Modified by EDWARD Aug. 28, 1993 at 7:09 JST (73 Characters)
You face driving winds and wade through knee-deep water to get to work.

722 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 28, 1993 at 14:49 JST (130 Characters)
…you think “white pills, blue pills, and pink powder” is an adequate answer to the question “what are you giving me, doctor”.

723 (of 1471) FREDULEMAN Aug. 28, 1993 at 15:38 JST (119 Characters)
You remember when Yamamoto Linda came on at the very end of the show (NHK’s Yume de aimashou) and kept her mouth shut.

724 (of 1471) LOG Aug. 28, 1993 at 22:23 JST (113 Characters)
…you look at that fried egg on your breakfast plate and *know* it was cooked last night and is now stone cold.

725 (of 1471) FREDULEMAN Aug. 29, 1993 at 9:49 JST (101 Characters)
In trying to help someone visualize 100cc, you say it’s half of one of those little bottles of milk.

726 (of 1471) MILLER Aug. 29, 1993 at 9:58 JST (96 Characters)
You get up at 7 am to go stand in line to buy one of 10 cheap bikes that go on sale at 10.

727 (of 1471) MILLER Aug. 29, 1993 at 10:00 JST (97 Characters)
You begin to understand some of the contributions that other people make to “too long in Japan.”

728 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 29, 1993 at 23:03 JST (114 Characters)
…you go to a public beach and leave all your litter behind in the sand, for the benefit of tomorrow’s visitors.

729 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 30, 1993 at 13:16 JST (100 characters)
…when you consider it normal to indicate as you go around the corner, instead of 5 seconds before…

730 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Aug. 30, 1993 at 13:18 JST (127 characters)
…when you expect steak to be cooked on the barbeque while the flames are still roaring 5 minutes after being lit with gasoline.

733 (of 1471) GLEKO Aug. 30, 1993 at 23:02 JST (87 characters)
…when you beat the “obatarian” to the last seat, and actually think you won a victory.

734 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 30, 1993 at 23:37 JST (114 Characters)
…you think that there is no place in the world that is farther than 100 m from the next drink vending machine.

735 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 31, 1993 at 4:39 JST (159 Characters)
…when you think it’s perfectly reasonable to walk into a record store, take a look at the Latin Music section, and see nothing but Orchesta de la Luz discs.

736 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 31, 1993 at 4:40 JST (131 Characters)
…when you think a fun way to kill a couple of hours is to drop a fishing line into the local dobu gawa to see what you can catch.

737 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 31, 1993 at 4:40 JST (100 Characters)
…when the only thing you catch from the dobu gawa is a disease, but you don’t make the connection.

738 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Aug. 31, 1993 at 4:40 JST (70 Characters)
…when you order a cappuccino in a Japanese coffee shop a second time

739 (of 1471) JMANN Aug. 31, 1993 at 7:10 JST (105 Characters)
You simultaneously listen to All Things Considered, watch the NHK local news and read the TWIX messages.

740 (of 1471) VINCENTP Aug. 31, 1993 at 8:25 JST (138 characters)
…when on a visit some home, you say something like “Wow, a dollar buys so much” and are surprised to find everyone looking at you funny

741 (of 1471) LOG Aug. 31, 1993 at 11:24 JST (184 Characters)
…you stun yourself with the reverberation you put into the “r” of the Bakayarrrrrroh! you let rip at the chimpira who’d just triggered his automatic umbrella too close to your face.

742 (of 1471) JIM3396 Aug. 31, 1993 at 12:30 JST (114 Characters)
re 741:
…when it annoys you no end that despite all your years in japan you still can’t manage that sound effect

743 (of 1471) RRR Aug. 31, 1993 at 18:47 JST (75 characters)
…you have discovered the sexual attraction of high school navy uniforms.

745 (of 1471) MILLER Sep. 1, 1993 at 16:57 JST (94 characters)
…when the neighbor asks to borrow some nori (seaweed) and you have it in at least 3 varieties.

746 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 1, 1993 at 23:41 JST (101 Characters)
…you dress out in complete alpine ski gear, to go for a 200 meter run — *indoors*, at Urayasu…

747 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 2, 1993 at 20:18 JST (62 Characters)
…you think Budweiser is a famous international beer brand.

748 (of 1471) VINCENTP Sep. 3, 1993 at 8:10 JST (64 Characters)
You think American sitcoms have original and innovative plots.

749 (of 1471) RWALKER Sep. 3, 1993 at 8:50 JST (63 characters)
… you think Budweiser is a beer.

750 (of 1471) JIMF Sep. 3, 1993 at 11:48 JST (66 Characters)
You have trouble figuring out just who is Japanese and who isn’t.

751 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 3, 1993 at 12:52 JST (228 characters)
… get some discount coupons for MacDonald’s, with nice round figures like 500 Yen, go to use one, and automatically start fishing for 1 Yen coins in your pocket, because you know they are going to add VAT separately.

753 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 4, 1993 at 16:11 JST (83 Characters)
…you open the Bangkok Post and fully expect to find a letter from Rudolph Val.

754 (of 1471) JELLISON Sep. 5, 1993 at 0:41 JST (60 Characters)
… when the footprints on the toilet seat are your own.

755 (of 1471) RWALKER Sep. 5, 1993 at 7:49 JST (99 characters)
… when you know that the best way to make a typhoon change direction is to shut all your Amado.

756 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 5, 1993 at 9:59 JST (57 Characters)
…you expect taxi drivers to speak the local language.

757 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Sep. 5, 1993 at 11:37 JST (111 Characters)
…when you get tired of the constant shifting of gears and decide to drive around town in second all the time.

758 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Sep. 5, 1993 at 11:37 JST (105 Characters)
…when you pull up to a stop light at a completely level intersection, but engage the hand brake anyway.

759 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Sep. 5, 1993 at 11:37 JST (104 Characters)
…when you pull up to the same intersection at night and turn off the lights while the engine’s idling.

760 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 5, 1993 at 12:06 JST (107 Characters)
…you see a flock of foreign models slink down Gaien Nishi Dori, and you think: Do those legs ever meet?

762 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 7, 1993 at 20:05 JST (95 Characters)
…a job arrives at your door on Saturday evening, to be done by Monday, and you don’t blink.

763 (of 1471) VINCENTP Sep. 8, 1993 at 8:05 JST (114 Characters)
Job arrives at your door on Saturday and you finish by Monday.

764 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 8, 1993 at 14:05 JST (82 Characters)
…you are prepared to pay a premium for knickers, worn by high school students.

765 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 9, 1993 at 13:57 JST (120 Characters)
…you think there is no relationship between the physical size of a room and the number of people that fit into it.

766 (of 1471) PSEWARD Sep. 9, 1993 at 14:20 JST (107 Characters)
…you think there is something vaguely sinister about open spaces, healthy trees and flowering grasses.

768 (of 1471) PSEWARD Sep. 9, 1993 at 14:22 JST (75 Characters)
…you believe that Tokyo has four seasons, even though it rarely snows.

769 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 9, 1993 at 14:28 JST (42 Characters)
…you think the rainy season is over…

771 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 10, 1993 at 10:33 JST (104 Characters)
…you think that kindergarten and elementary school gates should weigh 20 tons and withstand a truck.

772 (of 1471) BILLLISE Sep. 10, 1993 at 12:10 JST (111 Characters)
….you hear a new item still referring to the gate crusher incident as an ‘accident’ and don’t blink an eye.

773 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Sep. 11, 1993 at 17:41 JST (70 characters)
…when you blindly follow a vehicle clearly labeled “Off road express”

774 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 13, 1993 at 23:46 JST (369 Characters)
…the neigbourhood association has a volleyball game for everybody, and during the warm-up it becomes obvious that all the guys are hopeless old geezers, and most of the women are superfit sports instructors, and someone suggests a dan-jo setup for the teams, and that idea gets rejected immediately, because that would be unfair *for the women*. And you understand.

776 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 16, 1993 at 15:21 JST (97 Characters)
…you read with great interest who is going to sponsor the next 10 minutes of the movie on TV.

777 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 18, 1993 at 11:34 JST (57 Characters)
…you are convinced there are no illiterates in Japan.

778 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Sep. 18, 1993 at 19:32 JST (78 Characters)
…when you no longer find anything unusual in the concept of “Vermont curry”.

779 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 18, 1993 at 20:46 JST (65 Characters)
…you don’t hesitate to serve Calpiswater to foreign visitors.

780 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 19, 1993 at 16:05 JST (157 Characters)
…you notice you left the key in the ignition of your bike downstairs an hour ago, and rush downstairs — fully expecting to find the vehicle still there.

781 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 19, 1993 at 21:53 JST (83 Characters)
…you watch Kyosen’s Eigo program to keep up with colloquial English expressions.

782 (of 1471) LOG Sep. 19, 1993 at 22:15 JST (182 Characters)
…you read an article, complete with detailed line drawings, describing the 22 cancer sites discovered in a TV personality’s innards, and really feel you needed to know about that.

783 (of 1471) AKA Sep. 19, 1993 at 22:22 JST (232 characters)
…when your daughter ( in my case) goes to swim school twice a week for over a year and she has not been taught to swim and you understand and do not question it and think that run-on sentences with no subjects like this are normal.

784 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 20, 1993 at 0:07 JST (156 Characters)
…you think the most natural question for a reporter to ask a blood covered accident victim with god-knows-how-many fractured limbs is: ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

786 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 20, 1993 at 15:05 JST (92 Characters)
…you think the proper location to install sewage pipes is on the *outside* of buildings.

787 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 20, 1993 at 20:03 JST (122 Characters)

…you have managed the art of keeping the flush button pressed nonstop while you are in the loo.

788 (of 1471) CHRISG Sep. 21, 1993 at 11:58 JST (141 characters)
… You’re not surprised when you see a machine that makes “flush” sounds in the crapper. I guess it’s for those ladies in the previous note.

789 (of 1471) AKA Sep. 21, 1993 at 21:19 JST (388 Characters)
If you remember– having to request an international phone line
– when 1 dollar equaled 360 yen
– when sushi didn’t go around in a circle

791 (of 1471) VINCENTP Sep. 22, 1993 at 12:28 JST (231 Characters)
You’ve been in Japan too long when, on a trip home, you say out loud exactly what you think ’cause that’s what you do here.

792 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 22, 1993 at 14:29 JST (85 Characters)
…you don’t hesitate to plug ten electrical appliances into one ungrounded outlet.

793 (of 1471) BILLLISE Sep. 22, 1993 at 15:43 JST (290 Characters)
…when you think it is normal for a popular TV comedian (Matchan of Dauntaun) who was accused of giving a 19-year-old crabs defending himself at length in a TV interview, in which he does admit to having had crabs two times in his life–once several years ago and once about 3 months ago.

794 (of 1471) BILLLISE Sep. 22, 1993 at 15:44 JST (114 Characters)
…when you didn’t change the channel showing the above interview of Matchan.

795 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 22, 1993 at 18:15 JST (260 Characters)
…you listen to an interior design program on FEN and hear them explain: “Now the distance between the sink and the fridge should be not more than 9 feet, and the distance between oven and fridge not more than 7 feet…” and you start to laugh hysterically.

796 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 23, 1993 at 19:59 JST (84 Characters)
…you think 4 layers of wrapping is reasonable for a simple piece of merchandise.

797 (of 1471) MILLER Sep. 23, 1993 at 21:57 JST (86 characters)
…when you’re no longer surprised by some of the semi- or soft porn on late night tv.

798 (of 1471) BILLLISE Sep. 23, 1993 at 22:21 JST (80 Characters)
…when you think the stuff on late-night TV is not even semi- or soft porn.

799 (of 1471) CHRISG Sep. 24, 1993 at 14:12 JST (61 characters)
… when you think O-backs and T-backs are normal disco wear.

800 (of 1471) BILLLISE Sep. 24, 1993 at 14:20 JST (236 Characters)
What is an o-back, a back with a hole where the hole is instead of the vertical string of a Tee-back. How convenient. It probably is easier to launder than Tee-backs, which probably tend to get soiled easily .

801 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 24, 1993 at 14:37 JST (118 Characters)
…when you know that O-backs and T-backs are yesterdays news, and today the real disco wear is Y-backs and U-backs.

803 (of 1471) LOG Sep. 24, 1993 at 17:41 JST (158 Characters)
…you don’t even do a double-take at seeing, next to a display of whistling kettles at Seiyu, a device for testing the whistle of a kettle before buying it.

804 (of 1471) FREDULEMAN Sep. 25, 1993 at 14:00 JST (61 Characters)
You remember when Johnnie Walker Black Label was a big deal.

805 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 25, 1993 at 21:20 JST (187 Characters)
…water and sewage lines are to be laid under the same road, and you fully expect the road to be opened, closed, bitumened, and then opened, closed and bitumend again within one month.

806 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 26, 1993 at 18:54 JST (203 Characters)
…you don’t find anything strange about a city that puts a life sized, red-and-white painted Eiffel tower imitation in its centre, as well as a scale model of the Versailles Palace for its Crown Prince.

807 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 27, 1993 at 1:17 JST (124 Characters)
…you listen with great interest while Peter Barabara and his sidekick “elaborate” on the CBS story they just showed you.

808 (of 1471) ROGER Sep. 27, 1993 at 10:18 JST (149 Characters)
…when you think a flashing direction indicator means “I have just abruptly left my lane and intend to make a turn NOW.”

809 (of 1471) JMANN Sep. 27, 1993 at 17:08 JST (57 characters)
…when you give a hoot about the new Haneda terminal building.

810 (of 1471) LOG Sep. 27, 1993 at 17:35 JST (200 Characters)
…and don’t burst out laughing at learning that the four designated paths along which aircraft and other vehicles were moved from the old terminal to the new were named after the big four breweries.

811 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 27, 1993 at 19:41 JST (78 Characters)
…you think 50,000 Yen/month for a parking space for your car is a bargain.

812 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 28, 1993 at 9:10 JST (66 Characters)
…the thought of dinner flapping on its plate makes you hungry.

813 (of 1471) ABRANTLEY Sep. 28, 1993 at 12:37 JST (163 characters)
…when you are not REALLY that surprised to see two salarymen practice casting at a bucket in a parking lot in Toranomon.

814 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 29, 1993 at 9:37 JST (105 Characters)
…a new Gaijin moves to your neighbourhood and you know immediately you will get his mail for a while.

815 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 29, 1993 at 14:47 JST (139 Characters)
…you think the meaning of a red traffic light is: “Hurry up! 10 cars now in quick succession, and then we’ll think about slowing down.”

819 (of 1471) VINCENTP Sep. 30, 1993 at 12:58 JST (112 Characters)
…when reading a novel where the main character finds himself in Tokyo, you think to yourself “Cool! Tokyo”.

820 (of 1471) VINCENTP Sep. 30, 1993 at 13:00 JST (116 Characters)
…when looking out the window of your office, you think “Wow, so many trees” instead of “Wow, so much concrete”.

821 (of 1471) VINCENTP Sep. 30, 1993 at 13:03 JST (75 Characters)
…when you look forward to Burger King opening a shop near your office.

822 (of 1471) GLEKO Sep. 30, 1993 at 13:07 JST (100 characters)
…when you find yourself thinking “great it’s almost time for Paul Harvey, have to turn on the radio”

823 (of 1471) RRR Sep. 30, 1993 at 16:58 JST (41 Characters)
…you think NHK is “the Japanese BBC”.

824 (of 1471) JMANN Sep. 30, 1993 at 17:48 JST (71 characters)
…when you restrain the urge to smack the Kid for his virtuoso noodle slurp.

826 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 1, 1993 at 8:52 JST (63 Characters)
…you have mastered the virtuoso noodle slurp. (c)Jmann

828 (of 1471) JMANN Oct. 1, 1993 at 16:24 JST (82 Characters)
a big cockroach crawls up your leg and you just flick it off and continue eating.

829 (of 1471) JIM3396 Oct. 1, 1993 at 16:48 JST (53 Characters)
i’ll never, i say NEVER! be in japan that long…..

830 (of 1471) BILLLISE Oct. 1, 1993 at 17:22 JST (312 Characters)
your friend pours you sake at an izakaya, and a cockroach pops out, down the stream of sake an into your ochoko, still wiggling (hardy things, these cockroaches) and you stay and drink for two hours more. (After all, there couldn’t be two cockroaches in tokkuris in the same place on the same night, right?)

831 (of 1471) JMANN Oct. 2, 1993 at 16:56 JST (34 Characters)
sunlight is unbearably brilliant.

832 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 2, 1993 at 23:50 JST (34 Characters)
…you think curry rice is food.

833 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 4, 1993 at 15:21 JST (39 Characters)
…the Yakult lady knows you by name.

834 (of 1471) JMANN Oct. 4, 1993 at 15:28 JST (104 characters)
…when you know damn well the beautifully repaved street will be dug up in 3 months and patched over slapdash.

835 (of 1471) VINCENTP Oct. 4, 1993 at 16:59 JST (93 Characters)
…when you mentally convert your dollar assets into yen to figure out your personal wealth.

836 (of 1471) AKA Oct. 4, 1993 at 20:44 JST (343 Characters)
This doesn’t belong here, but that is okay I’ve been too long—
If you can remember when Kirin was advertised as coming from
the sparkling waters of Mt Fuji.

838 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 5, 1993 at 14:45 JST (78 Characters)
…you think people abroad would snap up a book with TLIJ quips.

844 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 7, 1993 at 15:32 JST (56 Characters)
…you plant cabbage in your garden — for decoration.

845 (of 1471) GLEKO Oct. 7, 1993 at 23:58 JST (167 characters)
… when you watch a guy on the telly ride a billy cart down a hill overtaking trucks and belting dogs and you think to yourself “wow those foreigners are crazy guys”

846 (of 1471) GLEKO Oct. 7, 1993 at 23:58 JST (94 characters)
….you stand in the middle of the doors on the train cause you know you are gonna get off.

847 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 8, 1993 at 10:04 JST (92 characters)
…you have learned the art of riding a bicycle while holding an umbrella over your head.

848 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 8, 1993 at 12:27 JST (34 characters)
…you eat lunch at 12:00 sharp.

849 (of 1471) PSEWARD Oct. 8, 1993 at 12:37 JST (38 characters)
…you arrive at work at 9:00 sharp.

850 (of 1471) JIM3396 Oct. 8, 1993 at 14:48 JST (33 characters)
…you leave work at 11 p.m. sharp.

851 (of 1471) LOG Oct. 8, 1993 at 16:59 JST (62 characters)
…you stop dawdling and start working in earnest at 5 sharp.

853 (of 1471) JMANN Oct. 10, 1993 at 16:07 JST (112 characters)
…You automatically assume a product billed as houmu or famirii to be a flimsy ersatz version of the real thing.

854 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 10, 1993 at 19:14 JST (76 characters)
…you think it is quite OK to play volleyball with 12 people — per team.

855 (of 1471) JMANN Oct. 11, 1993 at 6:39 JST (44 characters)
…You live in dread of katakori and hieshou.

856 (of 1471) CHILDERIC Oct. 11, 1993 at 15:43 JST (161 characters)
…You know you have been too long in Japan, when, visiting the States, you say:” That was a nice dinner, now, let’s have a walk on the beach and watch the moon…”

857 (of 1471) CHILDERIC Oct. 11, 1993 at 15:45 JST (67 characters)
…When you refuse to go and visit L.A because you are a bad shot…

858 (of 1471) PSEWARD Oct. 11, 1993 at 17:30 JST (190 characters)
…you believe that reservoirs containing millions of gallons of water must be heavily guarded to prevent a terrorist from pouring in a few vials of poison and killing everyone in Tokyo.

859 (of 1471) JMANN Oct. 11, 1993 at 17:37 JST (36 characters)
…You suspect your hankou is jinxed.

860 (of 1471) AKA Oct. 12, 1993 at 1:48 JST (57 characters)
…if you live in Tokyo and slept through that earthquake.

861 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 12, 1993 at 12:14 JST (178 characters)
…you see Latoya Jackson, Paul Newman, Arnold Schwarzenegger and George Lucas during one evening, all in more or less incomprehensible commercials, and think nothing about it.

863 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Oct. 13, 1993 at 16:05 JST (182 characters)
…when in the middle of nowhere, totally surrounded by rice fields and abundant nature, you aren’t surprised to find a drink vending machine with no visible means of a power supply…

864 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Oct. 13, 1993 at 16:05 JST (157 characters)
…when at the very same vending machine you simply drop in some coins, grab a can and continue on your way without a backward glance or a further thought…

865 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Oct. 13, 1993 at 16:05 JST (119 characters)
…when you would use a phrase like “abundant nature” in something that hasn’t come from a badly translated city guide.

866 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Oct. 13, 1993 at 16:05 JST (179 characters)
…when day after day you sub-consciously skip page 2 of the newspaper, because you know it will be filled with stories of arrests of local politicians for bribery and corruption.

867 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Oct. 13, 1993 at 16:06 JST (84 characters)
…when you think you can get a better haircut in Tokyo than you can in Inaka-machi.

868 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Oct. 13, 1993 at 16:06 JST (84 characters)
…when you visit Tokyo and make a bee-line for Kinokunia and the Virgin mega store.

869 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Oct. 13, 1993 at 16:06 JST (212 characters)
…when you finally realise that reserving a seat on the shinkansen is merely formalising the fact that no matter which train you catch, you will be seated next to a young family with no concept of child control.

871 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 13, 1993 at 20:04 JST (51 characters)
…you think “Liebfraumilch” is good German wine.

872 (of 1471) AKA Oct. 13, 1993 at 20:17 JST (58 characters)
…if you bow when you are talking to somebody on the phone.

873 (of 1471) JIM3396 Oct. 14, 1993 at 0:10 JST (116 characters)
re 864:
…and when you think nothing of it when that lonely vending machine says ‘thank you’ after you buy a coke…

874 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 14, 1993 at 0:18 JST (181 characters)

…you are scared of taxi doors on the drivers side, because they can open any time, in order for a head to pop out and deposit a yellow blob on the road.

875 (of 1471) PSEWARD Oct. 14, 1993 at 10:28 JST (90 Characters)
…you read the store name “WARE HOUSE” as “WA-RE [our] house,” instead of “warehouse.”

876 (of 1471) PSEWARD Oct. 14, 1993 at 10:28 JST (75 Characters)
…you read the store name “MINE” as “MI-NE [ridge],” instead of “mine.”

878 (of 1471) AKA Oct. 14, 1993 at 10:50 JST (95 Characters)
if you ever, ever, ever, get used to paying “thank you” money on the apartment you are renting!

879 (of 1471) PSEWARD Oct. 14, 1993 at 11:28 JST (129 Characters)
…in the United States, you stand before a sign on a bridge and ponder the possible meanings of “Bridge Freezes Before Road.”

880 (of 1471) PSEWARD Oct. 14, 1993 at 11:28 JST (110 Characters)
…it takes fifteen seconds of deep thought to recall the first name of the President of the United States.

881 (of 1471) PSEWARD Oct. 14, 1993 at 11:29 JST (153 Characters)
…you are not surprised to calculate that a neighboring parking lot, approximately 80 x 40 feet in size, makes significantly more money than you do.

882 (of 1471) JOHNSTONUEDA Oct. 15, 1993 at 11:53 JST (207 characters)
…when in the middle of nowhere, totally surrounded by rice fields and abundant nature, you hear the familiar sound of 5 o’clock music over the local loudspeaker and feel secure in knowing you are never alone

883 (of 1471) JMANN Oct. 15, 1993 at 16:30 JST (41 Characters)
You have a favorite bush to pee behind.

884 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 15, 1993 at 17:50 JST (179 Characters)
…some brain-damaged moron T-bones her way into a congested narrow street, totally blocking traffic in both directions, and it takes 10 minutes before it occurs to you to honk.

885 (of 1471) LOG Oct. 16, 1993 at 8:47 JST (258 Characters)
…walking along the side of a main road, you instinctively *know* that a small child on a smaller bike will come barreling out of a narrow side street to hit you well below your center of gravity.

886 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 17, 1993 at 12:01 JST (79 Characters)
…you have a 100 plus transparent, small plastic umbrellas in your entrance.

887 (of 1471) BILLLISE Oct. 17, 1993 at 14:26 JST (159 Characters)
….you only have 73 transparent, plastic umbrellas in your entrance because you have donated 27 to the JR and various taxi companies in the past few months.

888 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 17, 1993 at 16:11 JST (156 Characters)
…you have over 100 small, transparent plastic umbrellas in your entrance even *after* donating 27 of them to taxis and JR recently.

890 (of 1471) MJET Oct. 18, 1993 at 19:53 JST (98 characters)
…when you pay over 6000 yen for a lipstick and realize a few days later how much you REALLY spent.

891 (of 1471) JOHNSTONUEDA Oct. 19, 1993 at 13:38 JST (79 characters)
…when you frequent enough hostess bars to have a collection of transparent umbrellas

892 (of 1471) AKA Oct. 19, 1993 at 15:08 JST (39 Characters)
if you ever stayed in the Okubo House.

893 (of 1471) AKA Oct. 19, 1993 at 15:09 JST (42 characters)
…when you think plastic umbrellas keep you dry.

894 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Oct. 19, 1993 at 16:23 JST (118 characters)
…when you’re arguing with someone about the colour of the traffic light being
blue or green…and you think it’s blue.

895 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Oct. 19, 1993 at 16:24 JST (126 characters)
…when you think the phrase: “If it’s not a flying pig, then it’s just a pig” would make a great tee-shirt design.

896 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Oct. 19, 1993 at 16:25 JST (58 characters)
…when you think a coffee machine is covered by the term OA

897 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Oct. 19, 1993 at 16:25 JST (69 characters)
…when you go to a Mariko Nagai concert and actually have a good time!

898 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Oct. 19, 1993 at 16:26 JST (47 characters)
…when you begin all sentences with: “ano-ne…”

899 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Oct. 19, 1993 at 16:26 JST (73 characters)
…when you’re whale watching with friends and suddenly need a sashimi fix.

900 (of 1471) JMUNROE Oct. 19, 1993 at 16:29 JST (414 Characters)
Wow the Okubo house! (AKA892 or thereabouts) Haven’t been there in YEARS! Does it still exist? Okay I remembered to stay on topic:
…when you remember the ojiisan at the Okubo House and his sing-song good night message: (accompanied by a music box as he made the rounds at nine pm or thereabouts) “”Now is myujikkutaimu, suriipingu taimu, raitsu ooru auto. Eburiibadi masuto go to betto. Gooo toooo suriiiiipu….”

904 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 20, 1993 at 13:36 JST (122 Characters)
…you plug your wapro into a consent and consider a pipe cut and don’t understand why your friends say you speak funny.

905 (of 1471) FOSSOY Oct. 21, 1993 at 7:32 JST (62 characters)
… when you think a coffee machine is covered by the term OL

906 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Oct. 21, 1993 at 17:53 JST (78 characters)
…when you realise the 2nd most dangerous vehicle on the road is an empty taxi.

908 (of 1471) GLEKO Oct. 21, 1993 at 22:40 JST (85 characters)
…when you think a few days notice of a policy change *and* a price hike is acceptable

910 (of 1471) PSEWARD Oct. 23, 1993 at 13:22 JST (196 Characters)
…you assume that everyone knows that economic meddling by the Japanese government has brought the country to the brink of disaster and that no one in his right mind would try to emulate it.

911 (of 1471) PSEWARD Oct. 23, 1993 at 13:22 JST (137 Characters)
…on a stroll, you purposely set out to see a rowboat, stored a half mile away in a vacant lot, and stop to stare at it wistfully.

912 (of 1471) PSEWARD Oct. 23, 1993 at 13:22 JST (145 Characters)
…you think that, in a crowd of Japanese, the presence of another foreigner breaks the “wa,” although for some reason your presence doesn’t.

913 (of 1471) PSEWARD Oct. 23, 1993 at 13:22 JST (146 Characters)
…you become filled with incredible anxiety whenever you see someone on TV who is fishing, camping, or generally having a good time outdoors.

914 (of 1471) PSEWARD Oct. 23, 1993 at 13:22 JST (108 Characters)
…you are proud of yourself for beating the system by buying a case of Labatt’s Blue for 160 yen a can.

915 (of 1471) FREDULEMAN Oct. 23, 1993 at 13:48 JST (126 Characters)
Somebody asks directions, you don’t have the slightest idea where they’re talking about, but you give them directions anyway.

916 (of 1471) MJET Oct. 23, 1993 at 17:06 JST (117 Characters)
…when riding your bicycle to work you are not the least bit surprised to see an obaasan urinating on a side street.

917 (of 1471) JMANN Oct. 25, 1993 at 15:02 JST (53 Characters)
You have an irresistible urge to state the obvious.

918 (of 1471) JMANN Oct. 25, 1993 at 17:43 JST (116 Characters)
You see somebody with a cast, but don’t ask about it so you can see him squirm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

919 (of 1471) MJET Oct. 25, 1993 at 20:22 JST (81 characters)
…you can’t have your picture taken without your fingers forming the peace sign.

921 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 26, 1993 at 15:50 JST (87 Characters)
…you think the guy in the bike shop actually did all the repairs he billed you for.

922 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Oct. 27, 1993 at 4:45 JST (220 Characters)
..(for males) slightly embarrassed by something when in company, you reach behind and put the flat of your hand behind your head, give a little smile, a sharp intake of breath, and start, but do not finish, a small bow.

923 (of 1471) SALO Oct. 27, 1993 at 8:14 JST (109 Characters)
After your shower, you catch yourself pulling on your shorts with the towel still wrapped around your waist.

924 (of 1471) GLEKO Oct. 29, 1993 at 0:08 JST (75 characters)
… when you ask your wife if the rice cooker has been set for breakfast..

925 (of 1471) JMANN Oct. 29, 1993 at 18:10 JST (63 Characters)
Your yukata sleeve snags on the keyboard when changing discs.

926 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 29, 1993 at 18:26 JST (92 Characters)
…you think newspapers should take a day off every so often — and of course all at once.

927 (of 1471) MJET Oct. 29, 1993 at 21:18 JST (68 Characters)
…when you start telling gaijin how jouzu they are at using hashi.

928 (of 1471) JMANN Oct. 30, 1993 at 8:50 JST (45 Characters)
Your magnate is worn down to the knuckles.

929 (of 1471) PSEWARD Oct. 30, 1993 at 11:58 JST (112 Characters)
…you believe that foreigners think in binary thought and Japanese don’t.
(Think about this one a little.)

931 (of 1471) RRR Oct. 30, 1993 at 16:04 JST (107 Characters)
…you think rice imports should be prohibited, because Japanese consumers would never buy imported rice.

932 (of 1471) GLEKO Oct. 30, 1993 at 16:08 JST (164 Characters)
…you stop trying to explain something to a recent arrival with the explanation that he won’t understand cause he isn’t Japanese so he doesn’t have Japanese mind!

933 (of 1471) RWALKER Nov. 1, 1993 at 5:09 JST (50 characters)
…when you think a red light means “last two cars.”

934 (of 1471) CHILDERIC Nov. 1, 1993 at 9:58 JST (168 characters)
…when back home you wait in front of a door for it to open automatically, and think you are really in a backward country when you realize you have to open it yourself.

936 (of 1471) CHILDERIC Nov. 1, 1993 at 10:05 JST (88 characters)
…when, back home, invited to a diner party, you try, *discreetly* to take off your shoes

937 (of 1471) CHILDERIC Nov. 1, 1993 at 10:05 JST (233 Characters)
when back home, in a public place, a restaurant or a coffee shop, you are really disturbed by the sound of the conversations in your native language. You understand every thing even if you don’t want to, and you think ” urusai!…”

938 (of 1471) AKA Nov. 1, 1993 at 12:07 JST (55 Characters)
if you can remember when sushi did not go in a circle.

942 (of 1471) ASAYTEN Nov. 1, 1993 at 18:43 JST (184 Characters)
- – - you start sleeping in designer pajamas, and then you don’t think twice about going down to the corner grocery store in your pajamas either.

944 (of 1471) MJET Nov. 1, 1993 at 23:24 JST (54 characters)
…when you forget how to spell simple words like “wear”

946 (of 1471) AKA Nov. 2, 1993 at 3:47 JST (44 characters)
…when you wear white socks with a blue suit.

948 (of 1471) SARONA Nov. 2, 1993 at 12:26 JST (270 Characters)
when you think one kind of rice tastes better than another kind.
when you think it’s easier to use a rice cooker (and clean it) than it is to boil the rice for 20 minutes on the stove in a simple pot or pan, or if you think the cooking method affects the taste.

949 (of 1471) PSEWARD Nov. 2, 1993 at 13:42 JST (341 Characters)
…the Japanese ideal of community — cheerful shopkeepers who greet you by name, friendly neighbors who call out to you as you walk down the street, young and old who work together to stage festivals and share a jubilant drink afterwards, people who are concerned about you and are genuinely interested in what you do — is repulsive.

950 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Nov. 3, 1993 at 11:26 JST (106 characters)
…when you believe that buildings are made by incubating the site in blue plastic sheeting for nine months.

951 (of 1471) RRR Nov. 3, 1993 at 11:37 JST (114 Characters)
…you are not worried about speeding in the rain, because you know the cops are only out there in good weather.

952 (of 1471) FREDULEMAN Nov. 3, 1993 at 17:47 JST (221 Characters)
… After breaking your wari-bashi apart, you clash* the two together to get any splinters off.
* Am not sure what the verb is here, but it is like sharpening a big carving knife with one of those big rat-tail sharpeners.

953 (of 1471) PSEWARD Nov. 3, 1993 at 19:06 JST (226 Characters)
FREDULEMAN * Am not sure what the verb is here, but it is like sharpening a big carving knife with one of those big rat-tail sharpeners.
How about “whet” or perhaps “rub the two together in a whetting motion”?

954 (of 1471) BILLLISE Nov. 3, 1993 at 20:24 JST (104 Characters)
You have been a wordcraftsman too long when you discuss verbs like the one appearing in 953 here .

955 (of 1471) RRR Nov. 4, 1993 at 12:00 JST (25 Characters)
…you think birds cry.

958 (of 1471) RRR Nov. 9, 1993 at 15:47 JST (41 Characters)
…you think Heineken is a German beer.

960 (of 1471) RRR Nov. 11, 1993 at 11:03 JST (138 Characters)
…you think its perfectly alright for a 4 year old to dash across a street without looking left or right as long as he raises his hand.

962 (of 1471) MJET Nov. 11, 1993 at 21:05 JST (70 Characters)
…when you rush home from work to catch the last few minutes of sumo.

963 (of 1471) RRR Nov. 11, 1993 at 21:39 JST (56 Characters)
…you get a “Nihongo joozu” and feel really insulted.

964 (of 1471) PJDUNNING Nov. 15, 1993 at 11:32 JST (104 Characters)
…You believe the taste of fresh crab leg is worth the trouble it took it get it out of its shell.

965 (of 1471) BILLLISE Nov. 15, 1993 at 16:26 JST (98 Characters)
…when you rush home from work to catch the last few minutes of *Sumo Daijesto* at around 11 pm.

966 (of 1471) RRR Nov. 15, 1993 at 18:38 JST (159 Characters)
…you think its OK to indicate at the same time you start turning the steering wheel. In fact, as a “feature” the indicator might as well be made automatic.

967 (of 1471) RWALKER Nov. 16, 1993 at 8:30 JST (315 Characters)
RRR>>you think its OK to indicate at the same time you start turning the steering wheel.
You do so as a matter of self-defense because you know if you don’t some a**hole from the opposite lane is going to cut you off in mid-turn.

968 (of 1471) RWALKER Nov. 16, 1993 at 8:30 JST (115 Characters)
…you see a road with two lanes going in the same direction and assume the one on the left is meant for parking.

969 (of 1471) RWALKER Nov. 16, 1993 at 8:30 JST (207 characters)
… you watch “Winnie the Pooh” videos with your kids and when they get to the part in the theme song about “deep in the hundred acre woods where Christopher Robin played” you shake your head in disbelief.

970 (of 1471) FREDULEMAN Nov. 16, 1993 at 10:25 JST (50 Characters)
…You watch Winnie the Pooh videos for the English.

972 (of 1471) VINCENTP Nov. 17, 1993 at 9:22 JST (84 Characters)
…You’ve been too long in Japan when you can’t quite figure out how long it has been.

973 (of 1471) MJET Nov. 17, 1993 at 23:21 JST (75 characters)
…when you think that Japan is the only country in the world with 4 seasons.

974 (of 1471) MJET Nov. 17, 1993 at 23:22 JST (71 Characters)
…when serving spaghetti you automatically whip out the Tabasco sauce.

975 (of 1471) JIM3396 Nov. 18, 1993 at 0:52 JST (65 Characters)
re 973:
…when you think japan actually has [only] four seasons

976 (of 1471) RRR Nov. 18, 1993 at 9:54 JST (126 Characters)

…you first let yourself in and then (from the inside) knock on the door and shout “hello”.

977 (of 1471) MJET Nov. 18, 1993 at 16:51 JST (51 Characters)
…when you pull out your ruler to underline words.

978 (of 1471) MJET Nov. 18, 1993 at 16:53 JST (144 Characters)
…when getting ready for a trip you automatically calculate for omiyage and you leave just the right amount of space in your suitcase for them.

979 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Nov. 18, 1993 at 17:52 JST (156 characters)
…when you open your umbrella at the very first drop of rain, and may in fact have the thing open just because other people do. Even though it isn’t raining.

980 (of 1471) LOG Nov. 18, 1993 at 19:30 JST (136 Characters)
…you go into a bank to open an account, and think it perfectly reasonable to write out your preferred PIN, where everyone can see it.

981 (of 1471) RRR Nov. 19, 1993 at 16:26 JST (124 Characters)
…you walk through your neighbourhood, and a house that was there yesterday is gone without a trace, and you don’t blink.

982 (of 1471) LOG Nov. 20, 1993 at 8:50 JST (71 Characters)
…you manage *yankii-zuwari* without anything propping up your heels.

983 (of 1471) LOG Nov. 20, 1993 at 8:52 JST (211 Characters)
…not only do you overcome your childhood training and spit out the mikan membranes, but you discover the knack of peeling the mikan so that the peel forms a neat receptacle for you to spit the membranes into.

984 (of 1471) RRR Nov. 23, 1993 at 17:18 JST (164 Characters)
…you go for dinner with a Nissei friend who doesn’t speak a word of Japanese, and you assume automatically that she’ll have to do the talking to the waitperson.

986 (of 1471) VINCENTP Nov. 24, 1993 at 15:10 JST (67 Characters)
RRR [984]
That’s not long enough in Japan.

988 (of 1471) JMANN Nov. 25, 1993 at 10:53 JST (114 Characters)
You sigh and whip out your JT when a couple of obatarion make a big production out of buying 150 yen train tickets.

990 (of 1471) RWALKER Nov. 25, 1993 at 16:32 JST (83 Characters)
…You watch the grocer’s with interest to see when the price of mikans will break.

991 (of 1471) RWALKER Nov. 25, 1993 at 17:47 JST (98 Characters)
…On a cold autumn night (like tonight), the only thing you want for dinner is nabe and nihonshu.

992 (of 1471) RWALKER Nov. 25, 1993 at 17:48 JST (181 Characters)
…You think the reason the government is mixing the imported rice in with the domestic is to save people from the hardship of having to eat a whole bowl of that icky foreign stuff.

993 (of 1471) RWALKER Nov. 25, 1993 at 17:48 JST (209 Characters)
.You’ve finally realized that those reports MITI puts out about how much higher Japanese consumer prices are compared to anywhere else in the world aren’t meant to identify problems but boast of achievements.

994 (of 1471) JMANN Nov. 25, 1993 at 18:15 JST (69 Characters)
You associate views of Fujisan and Orion with freezing your cojones.

995 (of 1471) FREDULEMAN Nov. 26, 1993 at 9:31 JST (172 Characters)
…you think maybe there is some hidden meaning in the fact that the latest tv commercial for Sasegawa’s group features a doctor out somewhere treating “hansen-byou.”

996 (of 1471) RRR Nov. 26, 1993 at 12:28 JST (106 Characters)
…you wear Levans jeans, use Mendulum lip cream and Kalitta coffee filters and think nothing is strange

997 (of 1471) VINCENTP Nov. 26, 1993 at 12:51 JST (48 Characters)
…you look forward to the kohaku song contest.

998 (of 1471) VINCENTP Nov. 26, 1993 at 12:53 JST (45 Characters)
…you return the bow from the cash machine.

999 (of 1471) VINCENTP Nov. 26, 1993 at 12:55 JST (93 Characters)
…you can’t find the “open” and “close” buttons in the elevator because they’re in English.

1000 (of 1471) VINCENTP Nov. 26, 1993 at 12:56 JST (132 Characters)
…you find yourself constantly singing “Kay-dee-dee, yasui desuuuuuuuuu”
and you believe it (at least while you’re singing it).

1001 (of 1471) RRR Nov. 26, 1993 at 13:40 JST (56 Characters)
,,,You have been saving it up to make the 1000, you sneak!

1002 (of 1471) RRR Nov. 26, 1993 at 13:41 JST (66 Characters)
…you think the refined way to eat spaghetti is without a spoon

1003 (of 1471) PJDUNNING Nov. 27, 1993 at 23:08 JST (74 Characters)
… you remember when the foreigner you saw most often on TV was Roy James.

1004 (of 1471) PJDUNNING Nov. 27, 1993 at 23:09 JST (31 Characters)
…if you know who Roy James was.

1005 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Nov. 28, 1993 at 10:43 JST (85 Characters)
…when you begin to think the holiday that falls on December 25 is spelled, “X’mas”.

1006 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Nov. 28, 1993 at 10:44 JST (176 Characters)
…when you can’t read a set of instructions or an instruction manual unless it comes with cute cartoon pictures scattered throughout the text, especially cute cartoon animals.

1007 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Nov. 28, 1993 at 10:44 JST (136 Characters)
…when you actually know the name of the gaijin with the long curly hair down to his shoulders running around in a green soccer jersey.

1008 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Nov. 28, 1993 at 10:44 JST (61 characters)
…when you can get some natto down without gagging.

1009 (of 1471) BILLLISE Nov. 28, 1993 at 15:20 JST (72 Characters)
…if you remember that Roy James was Japanese of Turkish ethnic origin.

1010 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Nov. 29, 1993 at 23:45 JST (114 characters)
…when you’re back home, and in a taxi, and wondering when the driver is going to start writing on his clipboard…

1011 (of 1471) PSEWARD Nov. 30, 1993 at 11:44 JST (165 Characters)
…you believe that, because of potential anti-nuclear implications, it is subversive to organize a citizens’ group to aid the victims of the Chernobyl disaster.

1012 (of 1471) RRR Nov. 30, 1993 at 16:01 JST (57 Characters)
…you see the Asahi unchi building and don’t crack up.

1013 (of 1471) MJET Nov. 30, 1993 at 17:23 JST (148 characters)
…when you think children SHOULD have to walk around in the freezing cold with only short sleeves and shorts up to their butt (to make them STRONG!

1014 (of 1471) MJET Nov. 30, 1993 at 17:42 JST (119 characters)
…when you are back in your own country and get out of a cab and walk away, expecting the door to close automatically…

1015 (of 1471) MJET Nov. 30, 1993 at 17:43 JST (65 characters)
…when you think that coffee goes perfectly well with squid pizza.

1016 (of 1471) PJDUNNING Nov. 30, 1993 at 20:07 JST (99 characters)
…when the christmas music in the stores does not make you feel at all sentimental like it used to.

1017 (of 1471) ASAYTEN Dec. 1, 1993 at 22:51 JST (83 Characters)
…you can do arithmetic using man, oku, & cho.

1018 (of 1471) GLEKO Dec. 1, 1993 at 23:21 JST (189 characters)
…when you sympathize with your Japanese student because her daughter is baka cause she wears spring tops with winter skirts and you sit down to try and see what can be done about this wild child.

1019 (of 1471) GLEKO Dec. 1, 1993 at 23:28 JST (168 Characters)
…you no longer poke your tongue out at little children in the vain hope of making them laugh but because you know it will scare the sh*t out of them and you enjoy it.

1020 (of 1471) BILLLISE Dec. 2, 1993 at 0:40 JST (48 Characters)
…you count things with chuu chuu tako kai na.

1021 (of 1471) RWALKER Dec. 2, 1993 at 6:02 JST (106 Characters)
…You’ve discovered that the real meaning of fatherhood is never being able to take a bath by yourself.

1022 (of 1471) RWALKER Dec. 2, 1993 at 6:02 JST (119 Characters)
…You feel constrained to comment regularly on how good beer tastes after a hot bath as if you’d just discovered it.

1023 (of 1471) GLEKO Dec. 2, 1993 at 10:53 JST (82 Characters)
you think a meal of rice potato bread and vegetables cover all the food groups.

1024 (of 1471) RWALKER Dec. 2, 1993 at 22:39 JST (135 Characters)
…You can’t read your kids the Three Little Pigs without giggling when you get the part about “Not by the hair of chinny chin chin.”

1025 (of 1471) MJET Dec. 2, 1993 at 23:04 JST (58 Characters)
…you bow to other drivers who give you the right of way.

1026 (of 1471) MJET Dec. 2, 1993 at 23:06 JST (156 Characters)
…you know you’ve been in Kyushu too long when you go to Tokyo and your Japanese friends tell you you sound like a hick.

1027 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 2, 1993 at 23:10 JST (98 Characters)
…you are embarrassed because you don’t have the NHK sticker on your door and the neighbours do

1028 (of 1471) SAKOVICH Dec. 3, 1993 at 6:48 JST (232 Characters)
MJET – Don’t let the Tokyo friends get you down. After all, you can tell all the men there that they talk like girls, and the rest of the country will back you up. And besides, it is not possible to be…
Sakovich@too long in Kyushu

1029 (of 1471) AJP Dec. 3, 1993 at 11:03 JST (78 Characters)
RRR, you live in the wrong part of town, opposite is true over in Shitamachi.

1030 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 3, 1993 at 16:53 JST (65 Characters)
…you mention “Japan Times” and “objective” in one sentence…

1031 (of 1471) GLEKO Dec. 3, 1993 at 23:31 JST (63 Characters)
…you can’t drive in a straight line for more than 5 meters.

1032 (of 1471) JMANN Dec. 4, 1993 at 16:01 JST (53 characters)
…when you draw an X on the envelope flap after sealing it.

1033 (of 1471) BILLLISE Dec. 4, 1993 at 23:24 JST (222 Characters)
Sorry, that is not an ‘X’ but a *shimeru* abbreviated, manga-like kanji, which is even in kana-kanji henkan programs for Japanese word processors.
Bill Lise @ sorry for the off topic note, but could not help myself

1034 (of 1471) FREDULEMAN Dec. 5, 1993 at 15:48 JST (96 Characters)
…you would think it remiss if you did not send New Year’s cards to friends and clients alike.

1035 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 5, 1993 at 21:56 JST (51 Characters)
…you fully understand the concept of “cuteness”

1036 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 6, 1993 at 13:16 JST (66 Characters)
…you look forward to the porno reviews at midnight on Fuji TV.

1037 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 8, 1993 at 0:39 JST (144 Characters)
…you automatically assume that the gadget the factory next door produces will be much cheaper after it has been transported 10,000 kms away.

1038 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 9, 1993 at 0:58 JST (72 Characters)
…you buy an emergency supply of Kikkoman before leaving from Narita.

1039 (of 1471) PJDUNNING Dec. 9, 1993 at 7:49 JST (133 characters)
…when you believe that the perfect side dish to eat with a juicy, deep-fried pork chop is a pile of raw, tasteless, shredded cabbage.

1041 (of 1471) FOSSOY Dec. 10, 1993 at 10:57 JST (98 characters)
… it doesn’t surprise you that a case of beer has the same per unit price as a single can.

1042 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 10, 1993 at 16:27 JST (82 characters)
… you think cod roe spaghetti with chilled red wine is a typical Italian dish.

1043 (of 1471) ALANM Dec. 11, 1993 at 0:11 JST (191 characters)
… “natsukashii” comes out of your mouth instead of “what you’re saying makes me so nostalgic that I must look like one of those wide-eyed manga characters with a tear rolling out of my eye”

1044 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 11, 1993 at 11:37 JST (79 Characters)
…the word “political reform” triggers an instant Pavlonian reflex: yawning.

1045 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 12, 1993 at 10:25 JST (102 Characters)
…you return from a hiking trip with brand-new, unscratched, unsoiled, top-of-the-line hiking gear.

1046 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 12, 1993 at 13:34 JST (90 Characters)
…you think “for beautiful human life” is a nice advertising slogan.

1048 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 13, 1993 at 19:08 JST (46 Characters)
…you think this is what hearses look like.

1049 (of 1471) ASAYTEN Dec. 13, 1993 at 19:46 JST (73 Characters)
- – - you start to recognize BGM as a meaningful genre of music.

1050 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 13, 1993 at 23:47 JST (49 Characters)
…the TV commercials always make sense to you.

1051 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 16, 1993 at 10:40 JST (148 Characters)
…you expect your newspaper to be busy with the latest local rice import and election reform squabbles — while Russia elects a Nazi government.

1052 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 17, 1993 at 12:41 JST (148 Characters)
…you expect your local police station to sport a scoreboard with the month’s deaths and injuries.

1053 (of 1471) PJDUNNING Dec. 18, 1993 at 23:06 JST (190 characters)
…when you wonder why the western countries’ biggest festival of the year is held in honor of a German composer who worked in England. And why don’t they call it Handelmas instead of Christmas.?

1055 (of 1471) PSEWARD Dec. 20, 1993 at 12:34 JST (258 Characters)
…on a stroll through Akasaka, your wife says she wouldn’t want to live in a Homat Dictator (one of those ridiculously expensive apartment buildings for gaijin-san) because there is no place to hang a futon, and you see that she has an excellent point.

1056 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 20, 1993 at 21:05 JST (112 Characters)
…your way of dealing with an informal taxi queue is FIFO — i.e., walk a few meters ahead of everybody else.

1057 (of 1471) BILLLISE Dec. 20, 1993 at 21:19 JST (92 Characters)
…you realize the advantages of *informal* taxi queues are that there are no rules to obey.

1058 (of 1471) PJDUNNING Dec. 21, 1993 at 8:25 JST (75 characters)
…when you are disgusted by the thought of someone eating miso soup with a spoon

1060 (of 1471) BILLLISE Dec. 21, 1993 at 13:10 JST (115 Characters)
you are outwardly appalled to see someone pour miso shiru over rice, but do it in private yourself (neko meshi).

1061 (of 1471) FREDULEMAN Dec. 21, 1993 at 16:57 JST (198 Characters)
parenthetically to 1060, I asked someone if there was any good way to say neko meshi in English and was told “cat food” not long ago. (Yes, the person who said that knew it was not the same thing.)

1063 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 22, 1993 at 9:33 JST (261 Characters)
…you have mastered the art of starting your car exactly 2 1/2 seconds before the light turns green so that you are in full motion when the switch comes. A great combination incidentally with the equally important tradition of tailgating through yellow-red…

1064 (of 1471) JMANN Dec. 23, 1993 at 14:47 JST (159 Characters)
…Auld Lang Syne means drain your glass and get the hell out. Happy New Year is when you go bonkers at hearing Beethoven’s 9th the umpteenth time in two weeks.

1066 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 24, 1993 at 11:36 JST (38 Characters)
…you bought a Christmas cake today.

1067 (of 1471) GLEKO Dec. 24, 1993 at 20:12 JST (133 characters)
…when you are relieved when your wife tells you that she has 3 Xmas albums one from ELVIS one from the Jackson five and one assorted….

1068 (of 1471) GLEKO Dec. 24, 1993 at 20:12 JST (226 characters)
… you go to Montesano with your partner to climb the walkways over the road and sigh at the pretty lights.

…you ask new arrivals if they have Japanese Santa Claus where they come from.

1069 (of 1471) GLEKO Dec. 24, 1993 at 20:12 JST (60 Characters)
…you walk to the local seven eleven in your wife’s shoes.

1070 (of 1471) GLEKO Dec. 24, 1993 at 20:12 JST (184 Characters)
…you are sure that no matter how much whatever is on your plate looks like the stuff you used to eat when you were in your own country, it is _not_ going to taste anything like it.

1071 (of 1471) GLEKO Dec. 24, 1993 at 20:12 JST (207 Characters)
…you run for the Yamanote line pushing people left and right, jump on the train holding the doors open to let your bag follow you on. Because you know there will not be another one for at least a minute.

1072 (of 1471) GLEKO Dec. 24, 1993 at 20:12 JST (133 Characters)
…you are the first one to step on the train, in front of about fifty others and you stop after taking 2 steps into the carriage.

1073 (of 1471) GLEKO Dec. 24, 1993 at 20:12 JST (180 Characters)
…you squeeze onto the first carriage, rush off the train at top speed so you can stand in the way of everyone else while you pay for your ticket to the train guard at the exit.

1075 (of 1471) JMANN Dec. 25, 1993 at 16:31 JST (117 Characters)
..you think hangin’s too good for the varmint who invented those cheese stick packs with the metal rings at the ends.

1076 (of 1471) BILLLISE Dec. 25, 1993 at 16:44 JST (217 Characters)
when you feel that MITI’s good design award should be given to the person who designed the soft plastic ketchup bottles that retain their ‘ku no ji’ bent of (out of ) shape configuration after they have been used.

1077 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 25, 1993 at 16:47 JST (46 Characters)
Jmann:
I’d rather say:
…when you eat them.

1078 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 25, 1993 at 19:17 JST (181 Characters)
…you think an integral part of any travel program is a closeup of some TV personality’s mouth in chewing motion for some 10 seconds, followed by the profound judgment: “oishii”.

1079 (of 1471) OBLIO Dec. 26, 1993 at 2:24 JST (134 Characters)
…when a non-Japanese sits down next to you on the train and you get up and move. You’re not prejudiced, but who knows what they might do?

1080 (of 1471) OBLIO Dec. 26, 1993 at 2:25 JST (151 Characters)
…you keep the Kinokuniya book cover on any books you read in public so nobody can see the title.

1081 (of 1471) PJDUNNING Dec. 26, 1993 at 11:19 JST (94 characters)
…when you no longer pay any attention to what anyone does when you sit down beside them on a train.

1082 (of 1471) OBLIO Dec. 26, 1993 at 16:18 JST (123 Characters)
…you wake up on December 26th and wonder if the department stores will have their St. Valentine’s Day decorations up yet.

1083 (of 1471) PJDUNNING Dec. 27, 1993 at 9:35 JST (125 characters)
…when, attempting to talk a family member out of an expensive purchase, you exclaim, We are not one-hundred-ten-thousanders!

1084 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 27, 1993 at 13:57 JST (78 Characters)
…when you accompany your “no” by the famous waving hand-in-front-of- nose.

1085 (of 1471) RRR Dec. 28, 1993 at 15:11 JST (119 Characters)
…you find a telephone booth that is not plastered with stickers of sexy young ladies and find something is missing.

1086 (of 1471) JMANN Dec. 30, 1993 at 18:24 JST (99 Characters)
…you can actually open an E-Z-open ham pack according to the directions – in less than 10 minutes.

1088 (of 1471) PSEWARD Dec. 31, 1993 at 9:27 JST (33 Characters)
…the Kanda River looks clean.

1089 (of 1471) RWALKER Dec. 31, 1993 at 19:31 JST (181 Characters)
…you go grocery shopping after 6:00 pm on the 31st because you know they have to get rid of their fresh foods before the holidays.

1090 (of 1471) OBLIO Jan. 2, 1994 at 1:07 JST (198 Characters)
…you’re at your favorite watering hole on New Year’s Eve, and at midnight when they start playing ‘Auld Lang Sine’ you start getting ready to go because you think it means
the bar is closing.

1091 (of 1471) PJDUNNING Jan. 2, 1994 at 11:28 JST (230 Characters)
…you’re in your living room on the morning of new year’s day, and knowing full well what awaits you, you go to Asakusa, because that’s the thing to do.
…you go to Asakusa on new year’s day and don’t feel like pushing back once..

1092 (of 1471) OBLIO Jan. 3, 1994 at 17:59 JST (182 Characters)
…you alphabetize your cd’s by the _first_ names of the artists.

1093 (of 1471) OBLIO Jan. 3, 1994 at 18:00 JST (293 Characters)
…you go to the local video shop and think it makes perfect sense to organize all the videos not by genre, but according to which video distributer released them.

1094 (of 1471) RRR Jan. 5, 1994 at 13:41 JST (69 Characters)
…you don’t look for the Western one in a row of toilets any more.

1095 (of 1471) RRR Jan. 12, 1994 at 12:28 JST (59 Characters)
…you think that a name stamp is safer than a signature.

1096 (of 1471) RRR Jan. 12, 1994 at 15:49 JST (107 Characters)
…you call any kind of electronic beep a “buzzer”.

1097 (of 1471) MJET Jan. 12, 1994 at 16:39 JST (67 Characters)
…when someone thanks you and your first instinct is to APOLOGIZE.

1098 (of 1471) ABRANTLEY Jan. 17, 1994 at 12:23 JST (213 Characters)
…you no longer chuckle at seeing a Japanese salaryman wearing a 1 million yen suit, carrying a 500 thousand yen briefcase, wearing a 250 thousand yen pair of dress shoes and a 500 yen pair of white athletic socks.

1099 (of 1471) RRR Jan. 20, 1994 at 15:04 JST (56 Characters)
…you book your NY holidays now — for 94/95 that is.

1100 (of 1471) KINCH Jan. 21, 1994 at 13:28 JST (98 Characters)
…When the Yamanote-Sen at peak time doesn’t seem as crowded as it was when you first came here.

1101 (of 1471) PJDUNNING Jan. 21, 1994 at 18:17 JST (165 Characters)
…You are proud to say that you never sign any document until you have had someone briefly tell you what it is.

1102 (of 1471) BILLLISE Jan. 21, 1994 at 21:34 JST (163 characters)
…when you can’t eat KFC without background songs from Takeuchi Mariya or Yuming.
…And much too long in Japan when you can distinguish more than three Yuming
songs.

1103 (of 1471) GLEKO Jan. 21, 1994 at 22:20 JST (45 Characters)
…you think 70′s fashion is _in_.

1104 (of 1471) MATISSE Jan. 23, 1994 at 17:49 JST (82 characters)
…when you find that no matter what you buy at National Azabu it costs 20,000 yen!

1105 (of 1471) MATISSE Jan. 23, 1994 at 17:54 JST (108 Characters)
…all of your friends make the same “Nnnn Nnnn Hai NNnnn” sounds during a conversation that the locals make.

1106 (of 1471) MATISSE Jan. 23, 1994 at 17:56 JST (53 characters)
…when you no longer flinch at payox paying US$4 for celery

1107 (of 1471) RRR Feb. 4, 1994 at 12:54 JST (115 Characters)
…when little green pieces of plastic in your food give you this special feeling of being connected with nature.

1108 (of 1471) RRR Feb. 9, 1994 at 14:13 JST (128 Characters)
…you have developed the Meishi Reflex: a very interested look when receiving even the most boring and meaningless name card.

1109 (of 1471) BILLLISE Feb. 9, 1994 at 14:54 JST (132 Characters)
…RRR 1106…..even when the meishi is handwritten in fluorescent green and orange felt pen ink and reads ‘Yuka-chan deeeeeeeeeesu’

1110 (of 1471) RRR Feb. 9, 1994 at 15:30 JST (120 Characters)
Billise 1109:
But… *especially* when it is written in pink or green felt pen and says Yuka-chan deeeeesu……..

1111 (of 1471) RRR Feb. 10, 1994 at 9:31 JST (105 Characters)
…you don’t blink when a gas station attendant performs a Fred Astaire dance to wave you into traffic.

1112 (of 1471) RRR Feb. 11, 1994 at 14:28 JST (58 Characters)
…you eat at Anna Millers’ because of the cute uniforms

1113 (of 1471) PJDUNNING Feb. 12, 1994 at 7:35 JST (65 characters)
…when you go to Anna Millers because of the delicious hamburgers.

1114 (of 1471) PSEWARD Feb. 13, 1994 at 13:44 JST (85 Characters)
…You talk of a person’s “good face color” went you meant to say “healthy complexion.”

1115 (of 1471) RRR Feb. 15, 1994 at 14:12 JST (72 Characters)
…you await with apprehension the invasion of the Foreign Killer Rice

1116 (of 1471) RWALKER Feb. 18, 1994 at 7:12 JST (348 Characters)
…when it doesn’t faze you that the taped message on how to get to the local equivalent of the Registry of Motor Vehicles mentions that they don’t have enough parking so could you please take the train…and you proceed to ignore the warnings, drive there anyway, and park on the street, confident that you’ll never get a ticket…and you don’t.

1117 (of 1471) RRR Feb. 20, 1994 at 22:03 JST (86 Characters)
…when you remember the times when you were always the tallest person on the train.

1118 (of 1471) RRR Feb. 23, 1994 at 21:11 JST (102 Characters)
…when the book title “A Budget Guide to Japan” does not sound like a contradiction in terms to you

1119 (of 1471) ASAYTEN Feb. 27, 1994 at 22:39 JST (69 Characters)
… when you start spelling English words using romaji phonetics.

1120 (of 1471) RRR Mar. 2, 1994 at 21:39 JST (84 Characters)
…when the thought of recycling your girichoko for White Day never occurs to you.

1121 (of 1471) RRR Mar. 3, 1994 at 14:44 JST (130 Characters)
…you think that 10 heavy duty fire trucks are just about needed to extinguish a dustbin on fire.

1122 (of 1471) LOG Mar. 3, 1994 at 15:46 JST (95 Characters)
…you see a 300-yen price tag on a 1-kilo bag of Thai rice, and think “Gosh, that’s _cheap_”

1124 (of 1471) RRR Mar. 7, 1994 at 0:01 JST (93 Characters)
…you think something is strange on the ski slope, and suddenly you notice: no disco music

1128 (of 1471) RRR Mar. 14, 1994 at 18:52 JST (114 Characters)
Darrel/Ayako:
… you think “black diamond” designation for a ski slope means “a place for beginners to gambaru”

1131 (of 1471) ALANM Mar. 16, 1994 at 21:14 JST (132 characters)
…when you’re able to recognize the telephone voice of a Japanese woman with whom you’ve previously spoken only face-to-face in an office.

1132 (of 1471) ALANM Mar. 16, 1994 at 21:14 JST (155 Characters)
…you’re able to recognize the telephone voice of a Japanese woman with whom you’ve previously spoken only face-to-face in a noisy bar.

1133 (of 1471) ALANM Mar. 16, 1994 at 21:15 JST (142 Characters)
…you’re in a noisy bar and can recognize the voice of a woman with whom you’ve previously spoken only by telephone.

1134 (of 1471) PSEWARD Mar. 17, 1994 at 9:45 JST (87 Characters)
…you hold strong opinions on the private lives of Japanese mass-media celebrities.

1135 (of 1471) PSEWARD Mar. 17, 1994 at 9:45 JST (113 Characters)
…you keep your door locked at all times to prevent unexpected intrusions by postmen, salesmen and neighbors.

1136 (of 1471) PSEWARD Mar. 17, 1994 at 9:45 JST (234 Characters)
…watching “Sekai Harabaru Tabi” or some other travel program, you are shocked by the high standard of living of people whom you thought to be poor and desirous of nothing other than to duplicate the “Japanese economic miracle.”

1137 (of 1471) RRR Mar. 22, 1994 at 1:05 JST (118 Characters)
…you think America is a big country, Japan a small country, Germany a cold country, and England an island country.

1138 (of 1471) GLEKO Mar. 22, 1994 at 10:18 JST (73 characters)
…when you think all white people are American and all black people are African

1139 (of 1471) RRR Apr. 6, 1994 at 10:51 JST (42 Characters)
…when cherry blossoms make you thirsty

1140 (of 1471) PSEWARD Apr. 6, 1994 at 15:18 JST (221 Characters)
…having just started to keep your money for household expenses in an account at the post office instead of a bank, you are shocked when, for the first time ever in Japan, you receive a substantial interest payment.

1141 (of 1471) SELWYN Apr. 9, 1994 at 10:34 JST (69 Characters)
…when you no longer untie your laces before you take off your shoes

1143 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS Apr. 12, 1994 at 10:39 JST (169 characters)
…when you lose your natural ability to negotiate small gaps in traffic at high speed, and need to slow to a crawl to drive through a gap a bus could easily get through.

1144 (of 1471) RRR Apr. 14, 1994 at 20:32 JST (96 Characters)
…you think two Oji-San with telescopic sticks are an impressive guard for a money transport.

1145 (of 1471) RRR Apr. 15, 1994 at 10:00 JST (224 Characters)
…you think the natural way to deal with an illegally parked car is a police car pulling up next to it at 7:00 in the morning and blaring with 100 dB loudspeakers: “The driver of the car with number plate XXX please move.”

1146 (of 1471) PSEWARD Apr. 18, 1994 at 9:28 JST (163 Characters)
…one of the “biggest names” in US rock music has killed himself, but you’ve never heard of him, never heard of his band and have no idea what he sounds like.

1147 (of 1471) RRR Apr. 21, 1994 at 14:30 JST (50 Characters)
…you are surprised to see cops wearing shirts.

1149 (of 1471) KINCH Apr. 21, 1994 at 17:24 JST (151 Characters)
You don’t go out and complain about the construction noise at 8am on Sunday morning at the house next door even when you’ve got a killer hangover.

1150 (of 1471) ISAAC Apr. 21, 1994 at 20:33 JST (63 Characters)
…when you wake up one morning and find out you can feel coke.

1151 (of 1471) RRR Apr. 23, 1994 at 9:13 JST (151 Characters)
…you think it’s business as usual that the Daily Yomiuri runs a series of copyrighted “Stare-e-o”s and credits them to some obscure “Hiroshi Kuno”.

1152 (of 1471) JEREMY Apr. 24, 1994 at 1:51 JST (112 Characters)
…you start tuning in to NHK at midnight to listen to the Kimigayo, just because “it’s a cool piece of music”.

1153 (of 1471) KINCH Apr. 25, 1994 at 17:50 JST (109 Characters)
[1152 JEREMY]
<>
But it is, it is.

1155 (of 1471) ISAAC Apr. 25, 1994 at 18:29 JST (69 Characters)
…when you start moaning about gaimai in the o-nigiri at the 7-11…

1156 (of 1471) RRR Apr. 26, 1994 at 22:54 JST (159 Characters)
…there is a plane crash, and you expect the TV cameras to be right there in front, getting in the way of the rescuers. In short, you understand priorities.

1157 (of 1471) ALANM Apr. 27, 1994 at 2:43 JST (42 Characters)
…it feels funny to eat fish with a fork.

1158 (of 1471) ALANM Apr. 27, 1994 at 2:44 JST (50 Characters)
…you’d rather drink & talk than eat fish anyway.

1159 (of 1471) VINCENTP Apr. 27, 1994 at 9:29 JST (60 Characters)
[RRR] 1156
Wouldn’t that be too long in America as well?

1160 (of 1471) RRR Apr. 27, 1994 at 10:57 JST (131 Characters)
…you know that your TV station will have an instant expert ready with profound sounding comments, no matter what just happened.

1161 (of 1471) VINCENTP May 7, 1994 at 14:32 JST (93 Characters)
…you wash your hands in an office washroom and you don’t even look for paper towels.

1162 (of 1471) RRR May 8, 1994 at 19:09 JST (116 Characters)
…when you find it quite normal that people make remarks about how tall you are — and you are shorter then they!

1164 (of 1471) LOG May 9, 1994 at 21:42 JST (87 Characters)
…you believe that an indispensable ingredient of a fruit-salad is unripe Kiwi fruit.

1165 (of 1471) RRR May 11, 1994 at 9:07 JST (110 Characters)
…you are excited because you heard a Burger King and a Sizzler restaurant opened at the other end of town.

1166 (of 1471) BILLLISE May 11, 1994 at 11:36 JST (88 Characters)
A Burger King opened up? I gotta go right ov…….guess I have been here too long.

1167 (of 1471) RRR May 13, 1994 at 22:50 JST (59 Characters)
…you have an electric toilet seat with *remote control*

1168 (of 1471) KONANBOB May 15, 1994 at 13:44 JST (131 characters)
…you remember when Jean Pearce was a bobbysoxer.
…you refer to Jean Pearce as “that obachan that writes for the Japan Times”.

1169 (of 1471) KONANBOB May 15, 1994 at 16:46 JST (71 characters)
…you remember when you thought AIDS was a new Japanese-English word.

1170 (of 1471) PSEWARD May 16, 1994 at 9:17 JST (79 Characters)
…to facilitate communication, you avoid doctors that try to speak English.

1171 (of 1471) JENNYNAZAK May 18, 1994 at 23:30 JST (358 Characters)
Default U.S. Scenario:
…Your American boyfriend gets up from the table, walks to the kitchen, and serves himself seconds.

A Little Too Long In Japan:
…American Boyfriend does same as above, but you think, “Gee, wasn’t it nice of him to do that”

MUCH Too Long In Japan:
…Same as above, but you think, “Sumimasen, ne! I should have done that”

1172 (of 1471) VINCENTP May 19, 1994 at 13:26 JST (127 Characters)
JENNYKAZAK [1171]
What ! You haven’t yet reached the stage where you beat your American boyfriend to it each and every time?

1173 (of 1471) PSEWARD May 19, 1994 at 14:56 JST (367 Characters)
JENNYNAZAK — Default U.S. Scenario:
Your American boyfriend gets up from the table, walks to the kitchen, and serves himself seconds.

Default Japan Scenario:
…When visiting a Japanese home, you sit motionless so as to avoid a flurry of activity and countless apologies when it appears that you might try to do something for yourself.

1174 (of 1471) VINCENTP May 20, 1994 at 11:37 JST (194 Characters)
Along the same thread, but from the husband’s point of view…
…You’ve been too long in Japan when you’re *proud* to beat your wife or mother in law to the kitchen to get your own seconds…

1175 (of 1471) KURT June 2, 1994 at 7:57 JST (174 characters)
… if you go to the teller at the bank and don’t feel the urge to tell the cashier how efficient and easy banking could be.

1176 (of 1471) KURT June 2, 1994 at 8:04 JST (499 Characters)
TOO LONG IN THE TOKYO AREA
… if you tell your family ‘let’s go and play ball’ and everybody knows there will be a one day trip on Sunday.
5 minutes bus
45 minutes train
15 minutes waiting for bus
30 minutes bus
finally arrive at a overcrowded park
play
30 minutes crowded bus
45 minutes crowded train
15 minutes walk (’cause I hate crowded busses)
arriving tired at home (not tired from playing ball, but from travelling)

1177 (of 1471) VINCENTP June 2, 1994 at 10:36 JST (77 Characters)
…you think it’s normal to buy your olive oil at a discount electronics store.

1179 (of 1471) JMANN June 4, 1994 at 18:34 JST (119 Characters)
…You have to be told which side of the train to get out so you don’t start pushing and elbowing in the wrong direction.

1180 (of 1471) RRR June 4, 1994 at 22:53 JST (163 Characters)
…you are not surprised to see a minipato pull up next to the rusting hulk of an abandoned scooter, and a policewoman get out and attach a parking ticket to it.

1181 (of 1471) GOWER June 5, 1994 at 23:50 JST (146 characters)
…when you find yourself wondering about prices and availability of the fake Swiss knickers and over-the-calf wool socks of the over-40 hiking set.

1183 (of 1471) NEWTON June 6, 1994 at 22:24 JST (375 Characters)
…You know you’ve been in Japan too long when you feel a sense of disgust as you watch some character in a video walk into a room, on a beautiful wood floor or over a lovely carpet in HIS/HER street shoes and then sit down in a $20,000 sofa – usually beige, and put his/her feet, still shod in street shoes on top of the slip covers – or even worse when they do this on a bed!

1185 (of 1471) RRR June 6, 1994 at 23:19 JST (171 Characters)

…you always make sure that your knickers are surrounded by a large towel when hanging out the laundry — because you know there are collectors out there.

1186 (of 1471) JMANN June 9, 1994 at 15:51 JST (63 characters)
…when you’re unperturbed when Nyobo wears an EAT ME shirt in public.

1190 (of 1471) RRR June 14, 1994 at 16:59 JST (100 Characters)
…you see a bunch of high school girls sucking on “Mr. Long” syrup sticks, and you don’t crack up

1191 (of 1471) DENNIS June 15, 1994 at 8:43 JST (139 characters)
…when you remove the front page of the JAPAN TIME$ with the Emperor and Empress’s picture before wrapping up the garbage in the rest of it.

1192 (of 1471) BILLLISE June 16, 1994 at 12:16 JST (140 Characters)
…when you get a real warm feeling, after hearing and seeing how the Emp and Empress are “seeing the real America”.

1193 (of 1471) BILLLISE June 16, 1994 at 12:18 JST (243 Characters)
…you can listen to the news about N. Korea and not even think at all of the possible massacres in Kamata should N. Korea do anything more exciting than they have been.

1195 (of 1471) JMANN June 16, 1994 at 14:24 JST (50 Characters)
…when half-size boxcars with spoked wheels look normal.

1197 (of 1471) JEREMY June 17, 1994 at 4:55 JST (63 Characters)
…you begin to develop a fondness for potato-salad sandwiches.

1201 (of 1471) RRR June 18, 1994 at 10:01 JST (98 Characters)
…you think a stapler gun and cardboard paper are essential tools for house construction.

1202 (of 1471) RRR June 23, 1994 at 9:06 JST (76 Characters)
…you think the people appearing in local evening TV dramas are “actors”.

1203 (of 1471) RRR June 24, 1994 at 14:13 JST (121 Characters)
…you don’t hesitate for a second to attempt a u-turn on a crowded 8 lane city street with double lines in the middle.

1204 (of 1471) JMANN June 27, 1994 at 14:46 JST (37 Characters)
…you miss the taste of envelope glue.

1205 (of 1471) MJET June 27, 1994 at 20:25 JST (94 Characters)
…when someone says “flute” and you automatically think of strawberries, apples, and oranges.

1206 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 2, 1994 at 13:56 JST (252 Characters)
…when you hear that the age of the amateur chemist in Matsumoto is 44 and can’t help thinking that perhaps he was making something other than weed killer.

1207 (of 1471) CHIKUBA July 5, 1994 at 18:17 JST (86 Characters)
…When you find it easier to jot down the word, “system” in katakana than in romaji.

1208 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 5, 1994 at 18:24 JST (436 characters)
…when your idea of progress and innovation is when the local Kentucky Fried Chicken, which has played the same endless CD loop of Yuming music for the last 6 months, suddenly switches to an endless CD loop of Lindberg music.

Billlise @ actually the lead of Lindberg is pretty cute, but her monotonic shouting style of singing doesn’t add much and perhaps hinders digestion of the 10W40 specials they serve up in KFCs here.

1209 (of 1471) RRR July 6, 1994 at 16:05 JST (78 Characters)
…you don’t blink when the bank teller reads out your “secret number” aloud

1211 (of 1471) RRR July 9, 1994 at 11:44 JST (140 Characters)
…when you have an electronic gadget in perfect working condition, and you rather put it straight in the gomi than trying to give it away

1212 (of 1471) ALEXJK July 10, 1994 at 0:32 JST (192 Characters)
…You know you’ve been in Japan too long when at Christmas dinner back home all of your relatives comment behind your back about how many times you’ve used the word ‘amenity’ in a conversation.

1215 (of 1471) PSEWARD July 16, 1994 at 9:07 JST (453 Characters)
Another boring TV show about ryokan in Izu. You look on in disdain as a dumb-looking young woman gets ready to try some sashimi. You prepare to guffaw at the inevitable “oishiiii.” But wait! She doesn’t say it. She says: “It has a crisp, clean taste.” You look on in disbelief. She tries something else: “This has a minty flavor.”
…You look again at this sensitive and intelligent woman, and wonder what it was that made you underestimate her so.

1216 (of 1471) RRR July 18, 1994 at 14:49 JST (70 Characters)
…you think female cartoon characters need eyes the size of saucers

1217 (of 1471) LOG July 18, 1994 at 16:06 JST (49 Characters)
…completely blank eyes, with a huge highlight.

1218 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 18, 1994 at 17:06 JST (77 Characters)
….huge eyes with two sets of window reflections–four panes in each eye.

1219 (of 1471) RRR July 20, 1994 at 15:36 JST (121 Characters)
…you order “Indonesian style fried chicken” at Denny’s and are shocked to find out that it comes with long grain rice.

1221 (of 1471) CHIKUBA July 22, 1994 at 19:11 JST (265 Characters)
…You don’t get p.o.’d when the bank manager stands behind you, lurking over your shoulder just waiting for you to break down in confusion or make a mistake as you transfer a large sum of cash with the ATM.

1222 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 22, 1994 at 19:15 JST (175 Characters)
…you have an irresistible urge to stick your hand between the train doors as they close…just up until the instant the announcement tells you that it is dangerous to do so.

1223 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 22, 1994 at 19:17 JST (239 Characters)
…you are in an elevator and a foreigner who gets on presses his floor and then the close button, and then you press the close button yourself…..because he couldn’t have pressed the correct button, and was pressing it in English anyway.

1224 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 22, 1994 at 19:18 JST (92 Characters)
…..you are out walking at 4:00 am and wait for a red light with nobody around to see you.

1225 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 22, 1994 at 19:19 JST (153 Characters)
…you think the gyaru in Roppongi out with US servicemen are overdressed, or that the servicemen or too sloppily dressed for their overdressed friends.

1226 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 22, 1994 at 19:20 JST (94 Characters)
….you are from Seattle and can bring yourself to carry an umbrella when it just might rain.

1227 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 22, 1994 at 19:21 JST (107 Characters)
…you can understand the dokata wearing haramaki in the summer heat to keep their koshi and stomach warm.

1229 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 22, 1994 at 19:25 JST (175 Characters)
….you believe that pachinko exists to relieve stress and that it would be popular even in the little Korean obaasan wasn’t handing out money in exchange for lighter flints.

1230 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 22, 1994 at 19:26 JST (189 Characters)
…..you think it is normal for a pachinko parlor to have 30,000,000 yen sitting around to steal at the end of the day…after all they have lots and lots of stress to relieve, don’t they?

1232 (of 1471) RRR July 26, 1994 at 0:34 JST (150 Characters)
…there is an empty space where your car was supposed to be and your first thought is “shit, I’ll have to pay 15000 yen to the cops to get it back”

1233 (of 1471) VINCENTP July 26, 1994 at 10:08 JST (116 Characters)
…you feel you have to ask your landlord permission for a friend to park in front of your house for the evening.

1234 (of 1471) VINCENTP July 26, 1994 at 10:09 JST (58 Characters)
…you spend more on omiyage than on your plane ticket.

1235 (of 1471) RRR July 26, 1994 at 23:06 JST (85 Characters)
…TV shows a panel of judges, and you don’t wonder if the guys are actually alive.

1236 (of 1471) JDOUGLAS July 27, 1994 at 0:10 JST (115 characters)
…when you see a group of smiling politicians on the tube and don’t think about how much cash they are getting in bribes.

1237 (of 1471) RRR July 29, 1994 at 14:02 JST (72 characters)
…when you buy Fuji water rather than Vittel because somehow it feels “safer”,

1238 (of 1471) VINCENTP July 29, 1994 at 15:01 JST (36 characters)
…when you think the CC Girls have talent.

1239 (of 1471) BILLLISE July 31, 1994 at 0:44 JST (272 Characters)
…you see an add for refurbished pachinko machines in Mangajin magazine, notice that one of the options is a beautiful wooden cabinet, and wonder why they haven’t offered as an option a small prefab shack with a little old lady in it to sit next to the pachinko machine.

1240 (of 1471) JMANN Aug. 4, 1994 at 2:43 JST (63 Characters)
Lighting a katori-senkou stops the mosquito bite from itching.

1241 (of 1471) KURT Aug. 4, 1994 at 7:57 JST (66 Characters)
…when you think that pavements are primary a place to park cars.

1242 (of 1471) KURT Aug. 4, 1994 at 7:57 JST (254 Characters)
…when you think it is completely normal that traffic signs are planted in the middle of already narrow pavements so that neither two people can cross, nor someone can pass with an opened umbrella, nor someone can pass conveniently with a pram.

1243 (of 1471) KURT Aug. 4, 1994 at 7:57 JST (75 Characters)
…when you think that broken glass must be scattered all over the streets.

1244 (of 1471) KURT Aug. 4, 1994 at 7:57 JST (113 Characters)
…when you think that it is not good to stop your car’s engine if you only go away for less than half an hour.

1245 (of 1471) KURT Aug. 4, 1994 at 7:57 JST (144 Characters)
…when you think that cars exist only to have a cool place in summer to have a nap or read your comic. (Of course both with running engine.)

1246 (of 1471) KURT Aug. 4, 1994 at 7:57 JST (174 Characters)
…when you find those ‘ojisan’ who pretend to rule the traffic if there are roadworks are needed. (Especially if it’s at a place only accessible on foot and bicycle)

1247 (of 1471) KURT Aug. 4, 1994 at 7:57 JST (246 Characters)
(maybe)
…when people on your train get used to the fact that you always wear T-shirts and jeans to go to the office

…when people on your train get used to the fact that in summer you are wearing shorts to go to the office

1248 (of 1471) KURT Aug. 4, 1994 at 7:57 JST (94 Characters)
…when you think Japan has a good banking system.

1249 (of 1471) KURT Aug. 4, 1994 at 7:57 JST (98 Characters)
…when you think it’s nothing but normal that adult-CD-ROMs by far outnumber software-CD-ROMs.

1250 (of 1471) KURT Aug. 4, 1994 at 7:57 JST (54 Characters)
(I guess I’ll never feel that I’m too long in Japan.)

9 Responses to “Too long in Japan”

  1. Rene said

    Ah, blast from the past.
    Alas, my last computer died, before I could post the last batch. I might have the last 200 messages on a backup disc somewhere, will check.
    Nice to see it again.
    Cheers
    Rene

  2. ampontan said

    Yo, Rene!

    If you find them, I’ll add them. I did some editing to remove crosstalk, etc.

    Are you back in Europe?

  3. Joji said

    Thank you for preserving and posting this on your site. Truly hilarious.

    Regards
    Joji

  4. Graham said

    Wow, brings back some great memories of the old days on Parti. Thanks.

  5. Ken said

    If you understand the sense of following site, you must be too long in Japan and if you do like the site, you are already a Japanese.

    http://digg.com/odd_stuff/If_you_say_Bang_will_people_react_to_getting_shot

    Also, here is a referencial site for ‘Matsuri da!’.

    http://www.chinacenter.jp/guidebook.php

  6. ampontan said

    Ken: Nice to see you again. That Osaka film clip is very funny.

    I don’t do stuff exactly like this, but I do like to joke around with store clerks and other people I casually meet. Everyone has a good sense of fun and likes to joke around too. I thought it might be because I’m a foreigner, but maybe not.

  7. Ken said

    Bill, Nice to see you again too. I was sulking for a while as there was no response to my post about Baltimore~~

    That is not simply sense of humor but also Peace-at-any-price mind-set of Japanese people, I think.

  8. As a traveller and visitor to Japan, i don’t think I have spent anywhere near enough time there to comment. Very funny post though.

  9. washii mudu-kun said

    this was an old usenet thing.. plenty on google groups..
    https://groups.google.com/forum/?fromgroups#!search/$20%22too$20long$20in$20Japan%22
    and
    https://groups.google.com/forum/?hl=en-GB&fromgroups#!topic/tnn.forum.hello-tokyo/DYANTqQkr5o%5B1-25%5D
    or
    https://groups.google.com/forum/?fromgroups#!search/$20%22too$20long$20in$20Japan%22$20TWICS

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