You decide…

HERE ARE two YouTube videos of recent television commercials in Europe. Both are about 30 seconds long.

The first seems to be for a paper manufacturer in The Netherlands. You can see it here.

Now for the second. I think, but am not certain, that the Dutch advertisement came first, because the second is currently being shown on British television.

We all know that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, particuarly in television, but one wonders about the motivation for the imitation in this instance. While the first did have a connection with the product–paper–the second is the identical advertisement, but this time for a confection called Mikado. The link is rather far-fetched. And while the lady on the copier certainly is lovely, Asian models aren’t really needed to sell the idea. Other commercials for the same product use Western models. Here you go.

I don’t know…

Incidentally, the second is being shown after 9:00 p.m., known as the “watershed” hour in Britain for allowing more adult content on the airwaves. Neither advertisement would have been possible in the U.S. when I lived there, but I haven’t lived there for some time now. And considering the publicity the problems with cell phone camera use received here a few years ago, I’m not sure it could be shown in Japan, either.

Now I get it…

EFFICIENT USE of the Internet has often been a problem for me right around the witching hour in Japan. Accessing web pages, or even different parts of the same web page, slows to a crawl. It’s taken me as long as an hour to put up a post on this site around midnight, when it would have taken only a few minutes had I performed the same tasks during normal working hours.

At times it’s been so frustrating, I’ve felt like taking an axe to the computer.

Now I know why. This Bloomberg article explains the reason. The title? “Porn Downloads Strain Japan Phone Network”.

“We can’t see customers’ data but can surmise the biggest portion of it is probably movies,” said KDDI spokesman Keiichi Sakurai. “We can’t deny the possibility those movies include adult content.”

Customers have complained about stoppages or slow Web access, mainly around midnight when traffic from “heavy users” spikes, Sakurai said. Japanese carriers spent $74 billion building their networks since 2000, based on data provided by Wireless Intelligence, a London-based researcher.

One reason for the problem is that Japan was among the first to use advanced technology:

“When you have unlimited data, you’re going to have an issue with capacity — it’s an issue that’s been waiting to happen,” said Windsor Holden, principal analyst at Juniper Research Ltd. “It wouldn’t surprise me that it happens in Japan first because they’ve had 3G for so much longer.”

It’s forcing DoCoMo and others to take steps to limit access:

While profiting from the traffic, Tokyo-based mobile carriers DoCoMo and KDDI Corp. say they’ve been forced to impose limits on the heaviest users as the $74 billion network feels the strain.

And:

“Pornography will eventually open a debate about how carriers should modify their business model as data traffic swells,” said Yusuke Tsunoda, a telecommunications analyst at Tokai Tokyo Securities Co. “It may prompt even tighter access restrictions.”

Thanks for nothing, dudes. Here’s an idea: Why don’t you do the rest of us a favor–and yourselves most of all–and find yourself a real woman? You know, get some flesh-and-blood action instead of the self-defeating vicarious jollies you’re trying to pretend is “pleasure”. Or is that too much to ask?

There’s a very simple rule with women: if you make them happy, they’ll make you happy. You don’t have to be a doormat, and you don’t have to pretend to be a stud; just put a smile on their face and a song in their heart. It’s not that hard as long as you are. Heck, if you use your natural-born imagination, you don’t always have to be that, either.

Some of them might even be so happy they’ll volunteer to cook you a meal. Now wouldn’t that taste a lot better than the crappy convenience store plastic-flavored bento you’ve been dribbling down the front of your dirty tee-shirt while you watch the semi-pros go through the motions?

Hokuto’s Web site offers 2-minute video clips for phone users for as little as 100 yen and sells full-length movies for DoCoMo subscribers.

“Whenever there is a new distribution method for adult content, adult content will go that medium,” said Holden at Juniper Research. “It’s gone that way since cavemen drew adult pictures in the cave.”

But at least the cavemen were using live models and drew those pictures based on experience.

Here’s a timeless tip: There’s no finer medium for enjoying your adult content than to use the old-fashioned distribution method.

Matsuri da! (105): The festival for manly men

DESPITE THE INTENSE COMPETION that is often part of Shinto festivals, which can range from events resembling ad hoc sporting events to those that look like shrine-authorized street rumbles, few of the matsuri have a martial air. One exception is the yabusame festivals, during which archers mounted on galloping horses fire arrows at targets as they race by.

A manly man and his manly men

Another exception is the Lord Shingen Festival, one of the largest in Kofu, Yamanashi. That annual event is held in early April near the anniversary of that manly man’s death on the 12th. The event honors the life and times of the local daimyo, Shingen Takeda, who was quite the 16th century warlord and the city’s founder. He strutted his ruthless stuff during the bloody Warring States period in Japanese history, which means he didn’t fight by Marquis of Queensbury rules. He reached the top by knocking off his predecessor—his father—and then spent the rest of his 52 years war-gaming for real through various military campaigns.

We don’t know whether it was the genes or the Yamanashi water, but Shingen’s eldest son was a chip off the old block who plotted to accelerate his own succession. Dad, having traveled down that road himself, sensed what was afoot and had the lad confined to quarters. Number one son died under mysterious circumstances two years later. Perhaps he should have considered himself lucky. When Shingen discovered a similar plot by his cousin, he ordered the man to cut his belly open on the spot.

Shingen is sometimes referred to as The Tiger of Kai for his mastery of the battlefield, Kai being the name of his ‘hood in those days. But the daimyo had a sensitive side as well, and during his youth he was known for writing excellent poetry.

Kofu spares no effort to recreate his history in its 450-year time slip to those glorious days of yesteryear, when the warriors were brave, courageous, and bold manly men. Replicas of furinkazan, Lord Shingen’s personal flag, are hung throughout the town during the event. The festival is a two-day affair that kicks off with a parade featuring a brass band, musical performances, and a fireworks exhibition. There are also special readings for parents and children of folk tales in which Shingen plays a prominent role, and a lecture titled Takeda Shingen and His Times. The organizers offer a walking tour of local sites associated with the lord that passes through the remnants of the Takeda shrine. Visitors tuckered out after all that walking can relax free of charge at a local hot spring facility. And because the event takes place in early April, they can appreciate the beauty of the cherry blossoms at the former Shingen residence. Perhaps some of them are moved to write poetry of their own.

But the real fun begins on the second and final day. Around 11:00 a.m., twenty-four mounted horsemen wearing the battle dress of Takeda’s generals are joined at Takeda shrine by 1,600 local men dressed as samurai infantry in period costumes, as well as performers of the Shingen dance. They march through the center of Kofu bearing torches and hauling cannon on what is now called Heiwa-dori (Peace Street), just as the proudly non-pacific Shingen and his army did before pushing off for the Battle of Kawanakajima. Along the way, they meet up with a procession of wheeled floats. During the course of the parade, the mounted samurai gallop from Kofu City Hall to the train station. The entire procession stops by the old Takeda Shinto shrine to pray for victory. The festival’s climax occurs in a riverbed at Isawa Kawanakajima during a recreation of the 1561 battle in which Shingen defeated Uesugi Kenshin. The latter was known as the Dragon of Echigo, which suggests that he was a manly man as well, despite his defeat.

Stout-hearted lads they all must have been, but Lord Shingen was no shrinking violet it came to expressing his tender side. The historical archives of the University of Tokyo contain a written love pact signed by Shingen and Kosaka Masanobu, a boy of 16. As part of the love pledge—a samurai pre-nup?—the 22-year-old Shingen swears that he hasn’t and will not dally with another, specifically-named retainer. He also promises that he won’t harm the boy since his intent is a sexual relationship. (This information is derived from Gary Leupp’s Male Colors: The Construction of Homosexuality in Tokugawa Japan.)

Relationships of this sort were common among the manly samurai for several centuries, which presents an interesting parallel with ancient Greece. Some men even encouraged the practice, in part for the benefits that accrued to the younger partners, as they were supposedly given instruction in virtue and the appreciation of beauty. (Another possibility was that it was a workable justification for the seduction of a comely youth.) Thus, as in ancient Greece, the relationship combined the way of the warrior with cultural development. In contrast, some manly men claimed that the love for women caused men to become more feminine. (You could have fooled me, but then again a teenaged boy wouldn’t start bugging his patron to lift up the toilet seat and take out the trash.)

The famous Hagakure, the how-to book for samurai written by Yamamoto Tsunetomo in the early 18th century, even provides some advice for samurai man-boy love:

“A young man should test an older man for at least five years, and if he is assured of that person’s intentions, then he too should request the relationship… If the younger man can devote himself and get into the situation for five or six years then it will not be unsuitable.”

The Japanese term for this practice is wakashudo, sometimes shortened to shudo. Waka is the word for young, shu can sometimes mean companions, and do means way or path. The younger men in the relationship were called wakashu, while the older men were known as nenja. That word is composed of nen, which combines the senses of solicitude, desire, and attention, and one of the words for person.

Those familiar with things Japanese will have already picked up that this practice was thought to be a do, in the same way that budo is the way of the warrior. The same kanji also crops up in kendo, kyudo, judo, aikido, and even Shinto.

Kendo literally means the way of the sword. Perhaps wakashudo represented a different form of swordsmanship!

Afterwords: Some of the information on waksashudo came from this website. The creator asks that this form of citation be used: Andrew Calimach, World History of Male Love, “Homosexual Traditions”, The Beautiful Way of the Samurai, 2000. There you go. The site is well done and has links that are worth following, so I’ve added it to the right sidebar. The link to the Hagakure is already there.

The author of the first website suggests that the influence of Western Christian ideas conveyed through missionaries and after the Meiji Restoration, “a direct result of the opening of Japan carried out under the threat of American guns in 1854”, spelled the end of wakashudo. I’m not sure I agree. Some say that prostitution was outlawed for (ultimately) the same reasons, but men today interested in purchasing those services won’t have any trouble finding them. The same cannot be said of wakashudo, though men of any country today with means, power, and those sexual preferences are probably able to indulge themselves just as easily as Lord Shingen.

Update: My passing reference to yabusame drew some interest, and reader Tomojiro sent along this Youtube clip of a BBC report on the art/discipline. Give credit where credit is due: there’s a lot of worthwhile information and video, and it’s light on the snark. Thanks Tomojiro!

Japanese court gets it wrong in sex-ed suit

THE TOKYO DISTRICT COURT ruled in favor of 31 plaintiffs employed as teachers and staff members at a Tokyo school by ordering three Tokyo Metropolitan District assembly members and the Metropolitan government to pay them 2.1 million yen (about US$ 21,440) in compensation. The court said the politicians were wrong to criticize the teachers at a special public school in the Nanao district of Hino for using dolls to teach sex education to children with mental disabilities. The court also found the government liable because local education officials were present during the the politicians’ visit in 2003 and did nothing to stop them.

In fact, the politicians didn’t stop the teachers either. They merely criticized the teachers to their faces (apparently in the classroom), as well as the materials the teachers used during their visit. It was later that year that the Metropolitan Education Committee severely reprimanded the Nanao 31 for failing to follow guidelines.

The Asahi article reporting the story (here’s the English and here’s the Japanese; the links won’t last long) says the plaintiffs were thrilled because the decision strikes a blow in support of the “independence of education”.

Japan’s Fundamental Law of Education prohibits “undue control” of the educational system by government authorities. (Undue is the paper’s translation for 不当, which can also be translated as improper or wrongful.) Japanese courts seldom support teachers over school authorities in cases involving undue control.

The Asahi closes with the by-now standard quote from a college professor that allows journalists the world over to editorialize in the context of a news article by having others speak for them:

Teruyuki Hirota, a professor of educational sociology at Nihon University, welcomed the ruling as it stressed the education board’s role to protect teachers from political interference.

Why are the 31 teachers, the Asahi Shimbun, and Prof. Hirota dead wrong in this case?

Because public schools are not the private fiefdoms of school teachers.

The reason the decision is wrong has nothing to do whatsoever with the manner of conducting sex education in school. It has nothing to do with the boorish behavior of politicians on a field trip. The guidelines for teaching anything in a public school are for the Education Committee to decide–not for teachers in individual schools to ignore while acting as independent philosopher-kings responsible only to themselves.

That’s because the school in question is a public institution supported by taxpayers. And that means their entire operation must be subject to public oversight–and public oversight of public institutions is the legitimate responsibility of government.

Yes, it would be improper if politicians demanded that classroom teachers extol the virtues of the Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere. But it would be just as improper for classroom teachers to sell their students on the idea that “From each according to their abilities, to each according to their needs” was the proper way for a government to organize the economy. Indeed, the latter is more likely to be a problem in Japanese schools today than the former.

The question, therefore, is what constitutes “undue control”. Did the three politicians (at least one from the LDP and one from the DPJ) exert “undue control”? Is it undue control for educational authorities to set teaching guidelines? Obviously not, but that didn’t stop the judges from trying to exert undue control of their own by advancing what is surely their personal agenda.

Those who disagree should consider this: The military is another public institution supported by taxpayer funds. Civilian (i.e., political) control of military forces is a prerequisite for a democracy to effectively function. Any democratic nation that allowed military officers in the field to determine their own operational strategy without civilian oversight would soon be transformed into a military dictatorship with the potential to create serious problems both at home and abroad.

The principle here is precisely the same. If civilian oversight is essential for the military, it is just as essential for school teachers. Do you think teachers should be allowed to use dolls to teach sex education to the mentally handicapped? That’s a valid and defensible position.

So either start a private school funded without taxpayer money, or choose politicians who will appoint administrators that agree with your position. That’s what elections are for.

Still, there are two questions that the Asahi doesn’t address (natch). First, why sue the politicians? If the teachers oppose the educational policies of the authorities, they should sue them–or take the self-congratulatory stand of resigning in protest. The assembly members were on a one-day visit. It’s hard not to draw the conclusion that spite was the motivation for including those three in the suit.

The other question has to do with the teachers’ justification for using the dolls in classroom instruction. They claim that mentally deficient children often don’t understand what body parts are being discussed through the use of words alone.

The article doesn’t say how old the children were (natch again), but the website for the Nanao school shows they have classes for students from the primary school to the high school level.

If the students are incapable of understanding the body parts being discussed without some show and tell, would they have the mental capability to benefit from education regarding sexual behavior to begin with?

The case is yet another example of Little Jack Horners claiming a personal exemption from principles and policies they insist must be applied to other people. The Tokyo court should have known better than to award the plaintiffs money merely because their feelings were hurt. But evidently the temptation for judges to shape society to their own preferences is just as difficult to resist in Northeast Asia as it is in Europe and North America.

Wired magazine short circuits on Japan article

A FASCINATING ASPECT of learning a foreign language is the encounter with proverbs and colorful expressions that open a window into a culture and offer insights into the character of the people. That these phrases are either untranslatable into one’s own language, or have an enigmatic strangeness, adds to the appeal.

This is particularly true of the Japanese language. The Japanese love proverbs, and estimates of the number of proverbs in the language run as high as 20,000 to 30,000. The ability to employ one appropriately in everyday speech and writing is a sign of the culture and erudition of the user. I have a proverb dictionary published in Japan that is more than 500 pages long, and each page contains an average of 10 proverbs with explanations of their origin and meaning.

One example of a proverb that wouldn’t make much sense in English was brought up in the Comments section here the other day. A few posts down is a story about a Hiroshima festival conducted in a Shinto shrine in which sardine heads are roasted to create an unpleasant odor and drive away evil spirits. Frequent posters Overthinker and Camphortree discussed a proverb related to this practice, which is “Even the head of a sardine can become holy”. Understanding that proverb would be impossible without being aware of the custom.

Here’s another interesting expression: Jibun no koto wo tana ni ageru. Literally translated, that means, “To put one’s ‘thing’ (oneself, one’s attributes, behavior, etc.) on a shelf.” But that doesn’t make much sense without context, does it? Here’s an illustration that might make it clearer.

Today’s issue of Wired magazine has an article in the Culture and Lifestyle section called Inside the Bizarre World of Japanese Pickup Schools.

It is a brief feature on Fujita Satoshi, who operates a school for teaching backward men how to be successful with women. Mr. Fujita has also written three self-help books. Attending one of his classes costs 30,000 yen, which the author, one Lisa Katayama, says is worth about $280.

Here’s how Ms. Katayama describes him:

Satoshi Fujita is not a good-looking man. He has oily skin, beady eyes, short legs and a boy-band wig to cover his balding head.

But since a picture is worth a thousand words, it would be easier to show a photo of him. Here’s what he looks like:

Mr. Fujita admits that he used to be an introverted geek until he bought a wig and learned some magic tricks. He also made a study of the science of seduction. Here’s what happened next:

Women like laughter, compliments and magic tricks. Using these concepts, he devised a proprietary “science” for picking up women that takes into consideration things like reading signals and timing. After 10 years and 10 new wigs, he’d become so successful with women, he says, that he decided to quit his job and make dating his profession. Among other tricks, Fujita’s method involves a deck of “psychoanalytic” cards that help him determine what kind of girl he has picked up. He’s also got a bag of tricks — literally — that includes flaming wallets, talking ferrets and animated algae balls. “This may seem ridiculous, but if you follow a specific equation, it really works,” he says.

The article also suggests that bizarre pickup schools are becoming a trend in Japan, because there are six schools for seduction in the Tokyo area alone.

How, you may be wondering, is this an illustration of the proverb of “putting your ‘thing’ on a shelf”? And if it is, how does it apply to the Wired article?

Stick with me a little longer. I’m coming to that.

Ms. Katayama and Wired magazine put Mr. Fujita on parade for their readers to symbolize this “bizarre world”. They describe this world by focusing on a geek with a wig and “beady eyes” who teaches men how to be successful with women—for a fee–by carrying flaming wallets and animated algae balls on the street.

We all understand the intent of this article. It is yet another installment in the never-ending stream of stories from the Western media that portray Japan as the Goofball Kingdom of East Asia. The 24/7 media machine needs a constant supply of infotainment for the breakfast table.

Now if Wired thinks this is bizarre, we should assume they believe guys like Mr. Fujita just don’t exist in the United States, where the magazine is published. Bizarre people live in smelly rabbit hutches in Tokyo, not New York or Los Angeles, where all the men are straight-up studly guys who know how to handle the ladies and make them love it.

Presumably, here’s what Ms. Katayama and Wired think is perfectly normal: in the U.S., there is now something called the “seduction community”. It has become a profitable business, with Internet forums, mailing lists, more than 100 clubs nationwide, and its own Wikipedia page. It has been the subject of a best-selling book called The Game by Neil Strauss, who calls himself a pickup artist (PUA) and cruises under the nickname “Style”.

When the San Francisco Chronicle reviewed his book, it said:

“…if women in the book are sometimes treated as a commodity, they come out looking better than the men, who can be downright loathsome — and show themselves eventually to be pretty sad, dysfunctional characters.”

There are quite a few so-called “seduction gurus” in the United States these days, many of whom choose to be known by colorful names. In addition to Style, there is Mystery, Juggler, Zan Perrion, Steve P/Piccus, Carlos Xuma, Hypnotica, Gunwitch, Tenmagnet, Savoy, and Gambler, among others.

Others use their real names. One of them is Ross Jeffries. He is a former insurance claims adjuster and failed comedian who discovered a practice initiated by Richard Bandler called Neuro Linguistic Programming ©.

Many books have been written about NLP, and there is no space here for a full description, but briefly, it is based on the theory that people are moved by the emotions expressed in the language patterns used by other people, and that the speaker can therefore covertly influence the behavior of the listener. Mr. Jeffries applies this theory to seduction by claiming it is possible to sexually arouse women with preconceived word patterns, sometimes with phonetic ambiguity.

For example, one might say to a woman, “I’d like to explore your mine.” The woman will hear this as “mind”, but it will subconsciously register as “mine”, as in “mine shaft”. Wink wink nudge nudge. One of his more well-known verbal techniques is the use of “below me” as a substitute for “blow me”. His term for hunting for women is “sarging”, which he named after his pet cat Sarge.

He also uses the technique of “anchoring”, in which the man begins by creating a pleasant emotional state in the woman through the use of language and suggestion. When he has successfully created that state, he touches her in an innocuous location, such as her wrist. The theory holds that when he touches her wrist in that same location again, he will recreate that state in her mind, which he can then utilize to influence her behavior; i.e., seduce her.

Mr. Jeffries holds seminars and has a home study course with 13 CDs and a 107 page book. He charges $1,500 for an hour of his personal time. He calls this Speed Seduction ® and claims that a man can use these techniques to get a woman in bed in about 20 minutes from the time he meets her.

What does he look like? Well, a picture is worth a thousand words, they say:

Another seduction guru with a colorful name, one R. Don Steele, claims that once upon a time Mr. Jeffries was a sweaty-palmed nervous virgin that came to him begging for help. He doesn’t seem to need help now. Here’s the Ross Jeffries home page, where you can sign up to master the art “as seen by millions on TV worldwide”.

If Mr. Jeffries’s techniques do not suit your fancy, perhaps you might prefer those of the man called Mystery. He is the main character of Mr. Strauss’s book. He teaches the Mystery Method of seduction, which he now refers to as the Venusian Arts. Mystery also charges thousands of dollars for seminars, and has introduced new techniques into “the game”. One of these is called “negging”, in which the man indirectly insults the woman and makes her want to please the PUA.

Here’s an example of negging: The man says to the woman, “You have beautiful nails. Are they real?”

Like both Mr. Jeffries and Mr. Fujita, Mystery was a backwards boy who was a flop with chicks. And like Mr. Fujita, he also became skillful at magic, though he probably doesn’t use flaming wallets. He also has lost some of his mystery, now that he has allowed his photograph to be used. It too is worth a thousand words:

He has beautiful nails. I wonder if they’re real.

One thing that is definitely real is the money he makes. He had a falling out with his business partner—nicknamed Savoy—and this led to a costly legal battle. This page is worth reading to discover the various financial and personal spats that can arise between pickup artists. It concludes this way:

After hanging out with Mystery, Lovedrop, and Matador this past weekend, it seemed none of them are too concerned with the legal stuff. Apparently they’re making good money from their workshops and the VH1 show, and there’s talk of a season 2 and possibly a spin off show, so money is the least of their worries. Lovedrop even told me that he doesn’t mind dropping loads of cash on lawyers and legal fees to fight this – possibly $15,000 – $20,000 a month, so who knows how long this feud will go on.

Speaking of Savoy, he’s still in “the game” himself, using the Mystery Method that Mystery developed. That method requires an investment of a few hours, which is longer than Ross Jeffries’s 20 minutes.

Savoy sells a book called Magic Bullets. He says he’s developed a new aspect to the Mystery Method called Transitioning, which he describes in his book:

MAGIC BULLETS contains the most complete explanation of Transitioning available ANYWHERE. In MAGIC BULLETS I explain – in detail – how to use a Transition to bridge the gap between Opening and Attraction. I also explain different types of transitions like Content Transitions, Observational Transitions and making a Transition without using a transition at all.

If he can make a transition without using a transition, he must be using magic bullets!

Here’s what else Savoy promises:

• An in-depth discussion of the opener “risk-reward continuum” that allows you to use the best opener for ANY situation you find yourself in. And the best way to transition from each type of opener to the next phase of the model.

• How to create your own material and bypass “lines” and generic routines. NEVER AGAIN get caught running something she’s heard before!

• How you can effectively approach a woman with NO OPENER at all.

• The situations where you should never “neg” a woman.

• A completely new phase that you NEED to install in your game RIGHT NOW. Adding this phase will make your sets go 100% smoother. THE VERY FIRST TIME YOU USE IT!

• An in-depth chapter on Seduction that will allow you to evolve your game beyond Last Minute Resistance and freeze-outs. Through an understanding of state-breaks, how they work – and how to avoid or minimize them – you’ll virtually eliminate Last Minute Resistance. AND WATCH YOUR CLOSE RATE GO THROUGH THE ROOF!

• A chapter on Day Game written by Sinn – THE UNDISPUTED MASTER OF DAY GAME.

• Sinn’s ten rules for MEETING AND DATING STRIPPERS.

I’m sure it would be instructive to see a picture of Savoy, but I couldn’t find one.

Instead of Savoy’s picture, however, here’s a page on the Love System’s 2008 Super Conference, which promises to be the commercial event of the year in the seduction biz. Aspiring Casanovas will have the chance to meet and study at the feet of Savoy, Sinn, Tenmagnet, and Carlos Xuma all at the same place. Fortunately, the price of attending one of the big presentations has been discounted from $1,700.

Read that page, and then ask yourself this question:

Where is the Bizarre World of Pickup Schools really located–Japan or the United States?

I’m sorry for going the long way around, but I thought that was the best way to describe the meaning of the Japanese expression, “to put one’s ‘thing’ on a shelf”.

Unfortunately, Wired didn’t put their thing on a shelf high enough out of sight.

The Marmot and the foreigner

WHAT IS IT ABOUT FOREIGNERS in Northeast Asia? Judging from this post at The Marmot’s Hole, called Foreigner Learns About Prostitution, Writes Letter to Editor, the outlanders in South Korea are every bit as clueless as their cousins in Japan.

Adding to the amusement is that the foreigner in question tries to act as if he is knowledgeable about Korean customs despite the fact that he is clearly oblivious to his surroundings. Factor in his deadly earnest attitude and a whiff of priggishness, and that wraps up the package.

It’s worth reading to see how deftly the Marmot handles it.

Matsuri da! (44): Bon odori and butt pinching

THIS WEEK IS O-BON SEASON IN JAPAN, and bon odori, or bon dancing, is a part of every midsummer festival. Women, often middle-aged and elderly, dance on platforms erected in the middle of the street or on open lots. People of all ages perform the dance during parades down Main Street, usually as part of a group from their place of employment—bank employees, school teachers, department store clerks…

It’s pleasant to watch, albeit rather tame. This style of dancing involves waving your arms in the air, swaying to and fro, and following a pattern of steps. No shaking of hips or smacking of lips—it’s all perfectly respectable.

But according to this article from the Daily Mainichi’s WaiWai, passing on information from the monthly magazine Cyzo, that wasn’t how it used to be in the old days. In a reversal of the usual trend, the now domesticated bon odori was once a much wilder affair. So wild, in fact, that it was banned as indecent.

Now doesn’t that pique your interest? It certainly piqued mine, so I had to find out more—in the spirit of strict scientific detachment for my matsuri studies, of course. I looked for some Japanese language sources on the Web and was surprised to discover there wasn’t a lot of information available on line about dirty O-Bon dancing. I did find out there was a common perception a century or so ago that bon odori was synonymous with an orgy. Apparently, the authorities banned it several times, starting in the Edo Period.

It seems that the lewd bon odori was not a problem in the cities, but rather in the rural areas. Living on the land is always a difficult proposition, and it’s even more difficult for young people looking for some excitement out of life. They had to work hard for little return and had few opportunities for socializing. In fact, early Japan had the custom of tsumadoi, in which women continued to live with their family after marriage. Their husbands paid them occasional conjugal visits. The women didn’t leave the household because they were needed for farm labor.

New Year’s and summer festivals were one of the few opportunities for young men and women living out in the country to meet each other, and the weather at New Year’s is not conducive to outdoor fun. Young people didn’t let their chance for summertime socializing go to waste, so bon odori in those days was just a quick prelude to finding a dark spot in the bushes.

That didn’t happen in the cities because people had more opportunities to mingle with the opposite sex. In fact, the custom of bon odori had died out entirely in the urban areas.

The WaiWai article notes that some customs from those days are still alive today in slightly altered form. One of these festivals is the Shineri Benten Tataki Jizo in Niigata Prefecture’s Uonuma. During this festival, held annually on June 30, a special area is set up in which any woman who enters is liable to be pinched, and any man who pinches a woman is likely to be whacked on the shoulders.

Golly, matsuri research sure does turn up a lot of fun facts!

Ah, so. I should have known. It turns out that the word shineri is derived from a combination of the words shiri, which are the buttocks, and tsuneru, which means to pinch. Tradition has it that the women who get pinched and the men who get whacked will have good fortune for the coming year. Sounds like a good excuse as any to me! By all accounts, things get a bit rambunctious during the night of the festival.

I’ll bet!

Of course I scouted around for some photos, and I found some, too. I’ve posted one here—still in keeping with a strict scientific detachment for matsuri research, of course. The children are sitting astride a shinten, which is the object at a Shinto shrine or festival in which the spirit of the divinity dwells. They dance around it during the festival.

I have to admit, if one is on a spiritual quest and looking for God, that’s as good a place to find him as any. And a lot better than most places!

Now doesn’t this religious ceremony seem to be a more pleasant way to spend a summer evening with your children than going to a church supper?

For a slide show of this year’s Shineri Benten, try this site in Japanese. If you can’t read it, click on the area with the gold lettering above where it says “new”.

In Japan, love will find a way

If you’re out on the town by yourself on a Friday night in the West and encounter the girl/guy of your dreams (or a reasonable facsimile thereof), the question at the end of the night often becomes, “Your place or mine”. If one or both of you are married or otherwise engaged, it then becomes a matter of finding the closest Holiday Inn or motel (or so people tell me).

Those solutions are not an option for most Japanese, however, as many Japanese young people, particularly women, still live at home. Japan also doesn’t have the interstate highway system of the United States, and people are more likely to take a train or airplane for longer trips, so the motel industry is nonexistent.

Love will find a way, however, and in Japan that way is usually in a “love hotel”. Since the urge is eternal, the Japanese have no problem with recognizing and calling a spade a spade, so there are plenty of businesspeople looking out for the main chance. That’s why love hotels are a major industry in Japan and are found everywhere—including sedate suburban neighborhoods. I live in a quiet, older part of town, and three blocks away from my house is an establishment with a small neon sign in front announcing itself as the Hanazono (Flower Garden). Discreet as it is—the entrance and exits are hidden—everyone knows exactly what it is, and no one seems to mind. The initials NIMBY (not in my back yard), often used in the U.S. when people do not want certain facilities or enterprises in their neighborhood, don’t seem to apply here. They’re in everyone’s backyard.

They’ve been there for a long time, too. Love hotels offer rates for stays of two hours or less, or for all night, and short-stay hotels for couples have existed in Japan since the early 1600s. The forerunner of the modern love hotel was called a tsurekomi ryokan. Ryokan are Japanese style inns and tsurekomi means bring your own, and they’re not talking about bottles. These facilities were mandated by the government for the use of Occupation servicemen after WWII, when prostitution was still legal in Japan. After prostitution was outlawed in 1957, the hotels spread out, grew, and transformed into a different kind of lodging entirely.

The original tsurekomi ryokan had little or nothing in the way of amenities, including toilets or air conditioners. They were for servicemen and hookers, after all. But to stay in business after the Occupation forces left, the operators developed the modern love hotel that became a financially lucrative industry. How lucrative? Try four trillion yen a year. Statistically, there are 951 couples in a love hotel somewhere in Japan this very minute. The hotels have an occupancy rate of 260%, compared to 70% for the normal hotel. Rates are so reasonable that a room can be rented for the night at a price lower than that of a standard hotel, and there is no falloff in amenities. In fact, some tourist guides suggest that travelers to Japan looking for inexpensive accommodation consider staying in love hotels.

It goes without saying that they are discreet. The entrances and exits are hidden. Customers park in a lot that is often underground, and there are devices resembling traffic barriers or other means to hide license plate numbers from the nosy or the cameras of private detectives. There is no front desk and no cheerful staff member to greet you (or recognize you in town during the day two weeks later). Modern hotels allow customers to select a room, find it, and pay for it through a completely automated system. In the old-fashioned places, couples inform the staff by in-house telephone when they’re going to leave, and the cash is anonymously collected through a slot in the door.

Due to the number of hotels and the intense competition, hotels are often decorated using specific themes to attract visitors. Some try to capture the romance of Europe. The room in the accompanying photo tries to create the mood of Greece with its view of the Acropolis. Doing the research for this article, I saw a photograph of one hotel that offered rooms with the ambiance of a “European port”. Not the area close to the docks, I hope. Some feature amenities not usually seen in the home, such as a rotating bed or a ceiling mirror. Others duplicate the sets of movies popular in Japan, such as Roman Holiday or Gone With the Wind.

In fact, the services and benefits provided by Japanese love hotels are as diverse as the Japanese imagination. Some have karaoke rooms (why?), Jacuzzis, or swimming pools. If swapping is your adventure, some hotels have adjoining rooms so you can switch back and forth. If you like to watch, some hotels have in-house video channels, but of course you’ll be watched while you’re doing the watching. Some also offer party rooms for groups, and naturally, there are S&M facilities for folks with that preference.

Believe it or not, the primary customers for love hotels are women in their 20s, so the hotels are designed and decorated with female customers in mind. The highest outlay by owners for an individual room is the bath, which of course has a Japanese style tub. They’re stocked with brand name shampoos, hair conditioners, and other beauty products to attract repeat customers. The nearby photo on the left shows a sink that the hotel says upfront was designed to appeal to women, while the one on the right shows the expense hoteliers will go to for the bath.

And they offer more than décor. Hotels often provide free drinks in the refrigerator and free dinner or breakfast, while others have chefs on the staff to provide free food. Then there are the bonuses. One hotel offered a free trip to Tokyo Disneyland to any couple who stayed in all 24 rooms of their rooms within six months and a free trip to Hong Kong for those that did it twice

The amenities offered by hotels even differ by region. In the Kansai area (Osaka, Kyoto, Kobe), the love hotels tend to use free food to attract customers, while those in the Kanto area (Tokyo, Yokohama) emphasize rooms that create a specific mood or atmosphere.

And who could fail to enjoy the names of these establishments? Some of the names I found on the web include: Hotel Rose Lips, Châteaux Belle, Paradise, Casablanca, Hotel J-Mex, Hotel Liberty, Green Green, Hotel Palau, Executive Hotel Grand Garden, Hotel I-N-G, Hotel BaRong, ReStay, Hotel Laporti, Hotel Ash, Hotel Birth (maybe they ought to reconsider this), Grand Chariot, Hotel Vie-Bonheur Kobe, Hotel Wien Bel Magic (Wien is Vienna), Wimbledon (singles or doubles?), Hotel 24°C, Hotel Prelude (isn’t that part over?), and the Hotel Stellate. The latter, astonishingly enough, sells its own line of products, such as robes with the name of the hotel monogrammed on the front. Not something you’d want your wife to find in the suitcase after an overnight business trip.

If you’re thinking that the Japanese are a nation full of rabbits, however, consider these statistics. Japan usually ranks last in sexuality surveys for frequency of sex. They average 36 times a year, compared to 97 times annually worldwide. When asked what activities they prefer to sex, 20% of Japanese said sleeping and 13% said shopping. They do have a higher ranking for number of partners per person, however. Their average is 10.2, placing them seventh and above the world average of 7.7.

If you ever find yourself in Japan and want to find a love hotel on the net, there are plenty of nationwide directories, including one here and another here. If you can’t have a good time in some of these places, check into a monastery instead!

Royal on Japanese manga: Hoist by her own petard

FOREIGN MINISTER TARO ASO has a suggestion for Segolene Royal, the Socialist candidate for president in France, according to this Japan Times article .

Royal criticized Japanese society in a book published in 1989 for its toleration of violence and pornography in manga and animations. She also apparently complained about sexism in manga to Mizuho Fukushima, the head of the Japanese Social Democratic Party (former Socialist Party) when the latter visited Paris in December.

Aso, well-known for his enjoyment of manga, suggested that Royal might broaden her reading of the comics and discover the diversity of the genre.

Actually, I have a different suggestion for Royal: Put a sock in it.

The only reason to get upset about violent or pornographic manga is if reading that material leads to sex crimes against women. Interpol (headquarted in France) keeps international crime statistics. One of these is the incidence of rape per 100,000 population.

This website listed some of those rape statistics by country for 2004.

The numbers for Japan? 1.78. The rate for France? 14.45.

Mr. Aso also suggested to reporters that they not react so much to comments from foreigners about Japanese culture.

“Why are you worried so much if someone in France makes this kind of remark?” Aso asked

Indeed. Particularly when the remarks betray such ignorance.

Matsuri da! (15): Sex as sacrament at a Japanese festival

YESTERDAY, reader Shingen discovered an older post of mine on another site about a Japanese festival in which the participants pantomime the sex act. He liked it so much it gave me the idea to offer it as an encore presentation. And so, here it is.

Herodotus once observed that “All is custom.” As an example of what he meant, it is explained that it is as contrary to custom in Paupua to bury one’s dead as it is in California to eat them.

There is no better illustration than religious ceremonies. We’ve pointed out here before that more than a few local Shinto festivals in Japan celebrate the brewing and consuming of sake, all done with the blessing of the priests at the Shinto shrine. Try to imagine this happening at some of the standard brand religious institutions elsewhere in the world–particularly mosques.

But even the most indulgent people who might overlook a boozy night at a religious festival by allowing that all is custom might be nonplussed if they saw some of the more extreme practices that still occur at a few Shinto festivals in Japan.

One example is the Asuka Onda Festival, held the first Sunday in February every year at the Asukaniimasu Shrine in Asuka-mura, Nara Prefecture. The reason you’ll never read about this festival in a newspaper is that the central event is the simulated performance of the sex act on stage in front of an audience.

This is one of the oldest Shinto festivals in Japan. There are written records mentioning the festival during the reign of the Emperor Temmu, which lasted from 673 to 686, and it likely predated that.

Three masked mythological characters appear in the performance. The first is the Tengu (first photo), half-man and half-bird, with a large, phallic nose. The Tengu have represented both harmful and helpful characters over the years, some kidnapping children or tormenting Buddhist priests, while others helped people. Legend has it they taught swordsmanship to the samurai.

The second is the female Otafuku (second photo). In ancient mythology, Otafuku’s dance brought out the sun and brightened dark skies. The character suggests health and good humor. Finally, the Okina (third photo) is an old man who has risen above life’s struggles to attain lasting fulfillment.

In this particular performance, Tengu and Otafuku are husband and wife. This festival was originally performed on the lunar New Year, which in Japan was considered the first day of spring. The connections with fertility and new growth are apparent, and the ancient Japanese believed that sexual energy has the power to disperse evil spirits and bad influences.

The performance begins early in the morning with the appearance of the Tengu and Okina in the road. They begin chasing people, whacking some on the butt at random with bamboo sticks. No one gets upset; the act symbolizes the driving away of evil spirits and arousing the spirit of life after a long winter. It is a harbinger of spring, and legend has it that the greater the commotion they cause, the better that year’s harvest will be.

After the Tengu and Okina withdraw, the sound of taiko drums signals the start of a more solemn part of the ceremony, as the Shinto priests offer food to the deities. When the ceremony is concluded, the Tengu and the Okina return, leading a man dressed in a cow costume walking on all fours. They mime the plowing of a rice paddy on a platform in front of one of the shrine buildings. Their performance at this point combines shrieks of fright and laughter, as they purposely slip and fall from the platform and then begin to dance with the onlookers, hamming it up through their part of the show.

The three characters depart again, and a second taiko drum signal announces the return of the priests, who perform a service representing the planting of the rice paddies. They place pine branches upright into the earth on the platform. When this ceremony is completed, they throw the branches at the audience members below, who scramble to grab them. (And when I say scramble, I mean it–no one who has seen Japanese behavior at events such as these would still think they were the world’s politest people. You either go for the branch or get out of the way fast.) The lucky one who come away with branches place them in their own rice paddies because they are said to drive away harmful insects.

A third taiko drum signal announces the return of Tengu and Okina with the Otafuku character (played by a young man). Otafuku is wearing a red cloth around her hips, which she flicks suggestively as she shakes her body in the throes of passion. The excitement is contagious and is soon conveyed to the crowd, who encourage her to greater heights. The Tengu grabs her by the shoulders and they simulate sex standing up; he still has a bamboo stick in one hand, and he swings it at anyone in the audience impertinent enough to laugh.

The Okina then presides at their mock wedding ceremony. (It seems that preserving virginity for marriage was not an important tradition in Japan.) After offering large bowls of rice to the Shinto priests, the Tengu quietly takes out a bamboo tube and places it in his crotch (fourth photo). After teasing the priest with this phallic symbol by flashing it around his nose, the Tengu opens the tube and pours out sake. (They don’t miss a trick, do they?) He places the tube back in his crotch and waves it at the audience.

Otafuku then lies down on the stage and the Tengu mounts her to perform another extremely realistic simulation of sex. First-time viewers are reportedly stunned into silence at this point, but after a while start laughing and cheering on the performers. Meanwhile, Okina hovers around the couple playing the comedian and generally acting goofy.

When Tengu and Otaku finish, they take out pieces of paper from their costumes, pantomime wiping their crotches, and throw the paper at the crowd. (Bet you thought they couldn’t top themselves, eh?) They repeat this several times, and the people in the audience again scramble for the paper; legend has it that if they use the paper that night themselves, they will conceive a child.

Japanese scholars report that despite the frank behavior of the performers, the performance itself is not lewd, but rather innocent and even healthful in its own way. They note that the ancients thought sex was neither embarrassing nor something to be hidden; on the contrary they respected the tremendous energy of the sex drive and thought it led to peace and prosperity. In fact, they characterize the ceremony as being a kind of prayer.

They may have a point. Imagine what the rest of the world would be like if ceremonies such as this were held annually at churches, temples, and mosques. I’d almost consider converting to Shintoism, if such a thing were possible!

YouTube notes: Here is a clip with a brief section showing the crucial part in the second half, albeit poorly filmed from a blocked perspective. The people who put it together unfortunately botched it. For some silly reason, they call it part of a Gaijin Guide. They’ve also added several unnecessary English captions, and they’ve caught the cameraman’s sniggers on the audio portion throughout. I doubt they actually understand what they’re seeing. This has a short clip of the butt whacking, and this is a six-minute plus taiko performance at the same festival.